hi there gang!
Monty here that's right Monty. Friday is here and payday is here and yet I am glum.

Are you glum? If you are, why are you?

If you are not glum, what is the reason for this?

KEYWORD: glum
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 7:46, 238 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm in a smashing mood.
It's Ladypigs Birthday on Sunday, so I have the weekend off! Drinking will be high on the list.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 7:52, Reply)

good for you, Windy Woo

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 7:53, Reply)

klwefasclkmas';

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:36, Reply)

FINALLY someone is talking sense in this place!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:47, Reply)

I won't let them ruin ANOTHER Klwefasclkmas, Monts
You alright?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:48, Reply)

It's like all the old traditions are slowly being wiped out by politcal correctness and EU bureaucracy.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

bring back wintermasfetivetimeyay!

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

I don't know what that means,
but i know i like it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I don't know what YOU mean
But I like you x
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:59, Reply)

he means to bum you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

I've been trying to sex him up for two years
It's about bloody time
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Oooh ooh-ooh ooh-oh
www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ask_sedxu0o
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Why so glum? Do you need an Internet hug and some cayke?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 7:58, Reply)

this is one of those rare occasions when neither of those things will help.
Time to put Château Boyce up for sale.

:'(
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:00, Reply)

WTF?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:02, Reply)

Game's up man, can't do this no more.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:03, Reply)

Oh shit...that is bad news. I guess this is to do with your ex getting kicked out

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:09, Reply)

A number of factors.
Looks like a life of renting beckons - but one free from debt so not all bad news.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:12, Reply)

Didn't Rory give you some very sound advice about this the other day?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:13, Reply)

Yeah, 'don't do it' - but I can't do otherwise.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:14, Reply)

No chance of selling and buying a bit further afield?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:17, Reply)

I heard Newgate is nice

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:18, Reply)

Nope, the vast proportion of the not-inconsiderable profit I should make
will go to pay off my debts.

I am going to start looking into valuations today. With a heavy fucking heart.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:19, Reply)

I thought you only had a couple of years till the slate was wiped clean

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:20, Reply)

Three and a half more to go.
And at the end of that I'd be obliged to remortgage and give them all I raise. No provision for inflation - and were I to get a payrise they'd get that too.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:27, Reply)

That is shit news, man.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:48, Reply)

That's really rather poo news,
when did you buy it? Is there no other options like remortgaging it or anything?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 8:58, Reply)

11 years ago.
No chance of remortgaging no, sadly - I am under an IVA.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

You've been under this IVA all this time and you've still not managed to conceive.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Whatsamadder Monty boo?
I maintain an air of cheeriness most of the time and can usually see the silver lining in every cloud
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:00, Reply)

I have a hellish day ahead trying to finish stuff before I go to morroco on Sunday
Pity me
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:00, Reply)

Are you going to be able to sneak off and get stoned?
Never smoked hash anything remotely like it. Weirdly rizlas were hard to come by - but then I was in a reasonably remote coastal town. Are you going to Marrakech?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:03, Reply)

Yeah 3 days in Marrakech 4 days in a nice Hotel by a lake near the atlas
Would be nice to have a little smoke, not sure of the legalities and customs though now I think about it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:11, Reply)

I was more than a little concerned about it
but some dude collared me and flogged me some incredible hash and a few days later I got some even better (and much cheaper) hash from some kids in the street. Dodgy as fuck perhaps but I'm still in awe of the stuff five years later.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:14, Reply)

When I used to smoke I thought roccy was shit until I tried the real thing

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:19, Reply)

it has it's place although I always preffered a bit of bud

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:20, Reply)

Gold seal was the bomb
That skunk shit just smells of chemicals, I used to get oil which was expensive but worth it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:23, Reply)

I never understood the drive to make stronger and stronger strains

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:25, Reply)

I'M ACTUALLY AGREEING WITH YOU HERE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:29, Reply)

a FOF actually developed his own strain which was a Cannabis Cup entrant one year.
Best weed I've ever smoked: smelled like church incense.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:34, Reply)

You're about my age - it really was shit when we were nippers
We got the shittest grade hash that got sold to Spain - the stuff not even the Spanish wouldn't smoke got re-pressed (hence those little shitty bits of plastic in it where they couldn't even be fucked to unwrap it, or more likely refused to lose the weight) flogged to the IRA who'd import it to the UK, old, stale and bitter. And I smoked TONS of it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Likewise, I was lucky enough to have a large Jamaican community near me
So access to red and gold seal was not really a problem
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:29, Reply)

Good times when you'd get a bit of red or gold

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:29, Reply)

also oil

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:32, Reply)

Too much of a pain to smoke I always thought.
Nice, but a faff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Yep heat up spread on the middle rizzla of a 5 skin and smoke messy as fuck

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:35, Reply)

can you not just drip it on a straight fag?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:37, Reply)

Yup, both ways most of it goes up in smoke in front of your very eyes rather than getting you stoned

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:40, Reply)

EDIT your method slightly worse as the filter also filters stuff you don't want filtering

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:46, Reply)

I always wanted to try a thai stick but never got a chance

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:49, Reply)

It's not all that amazing.
Nice, but no better than Jamaican sensi or really good African bushweed. Mate of mine had the equivalent but from Laos for several years. He prolly still does but we fell out. The colour of the string used to tie them up is (supposedly) used as a quality indicator. If it's red or orange or yellow this means something. I suspect what it means is 'they have got some orange thread this time'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:52, Reply)

Hahaha I remember a freind who once brought a bag of bush weed to a party
90% seeds
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:56, Reply)

The best Sensi I ever had was from this really nice Rasta in Ladbrook Grove

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)

only ever had it once in New Zealand
was god though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:35, Reply)

They get it by some cunt in a leather apron running through the feild, or that was what we all believed

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Dude that's a complete lie

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:42, Reply)

Most of the stuff I believed at that time probably was

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:46, Reply)

No such luck for me, all drug business was through white hippies.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:33, Reply)

At least you didn't have to worry about getting mugged

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:34, Reply)

Tru dat

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:42, Reply)

I used to buy of a guy called "Ghandi"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:35, Reply)

That wasn't hash that was chopped up flip flops

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:43, Reply)

I remember the day one of our dealers gave us a free sample of some new hash he had in,
it was more expensive, but he said it was way better. We split our normal bar of hash (4 of us used to pool cash to get a bit more for our bounce) and decided to smoke the free sample before going our seperate ways. I don't know what it was, but it was like taking weak mushrooms. Lovely and mellow and a bit trippy.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)

One of the hashes I got in Morocco was like taking fairly strong mushrooms

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

I am glum. I drove for two hours this morning and the fucking cafe at Tesco was shut at 7.15am
so I had to have a cold sandwich.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:12, Reply)

Fucking tesco what. Bunch of cunts
They should have known you were coming
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:16, Reply)

Chompy's Tesco opens their cafe just for him

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:17, Reply)

and he gets a free half bottle of own brand chardonnay

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:21, Reply)

hahaha
I get this
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:23, Reply)

Cold sandwiches are really fucking depressing

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:17, Reply)

luke warm are worse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:20, Reply)

Ewwwwwwwwww
That reminded me of the Sandwiches on school trips when they were left on the coach for about 4 hours
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:21, Reply)

the other kids used to warm yours between their butt cheeks

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:26, Reply)

s cock
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:29, Reply)

:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:30, Reply)

Bad memories :o(
We used to have those little bottles of school milk. The cunts would leave rackes of them outside when they deliverd them so in the summer by the time we had to drink them they were tepid - and full fat so a revolting mouthful of warm cream to start with. I'mprectically gagging - it's amazing I don't have a lifelong hatred of milk.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Yet still people hate Thatcher for taking our milk

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:33, Reply)

She was fucking welcome to mine, she really was.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:34, Reply)

I am not glum...
...for it is payday (woo), I am WFH today (completing some online tests) and I shall be spending most of next week in Germany on a technical course relating to my new job.
Shame about the house sale Monty :(
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:31, Reply)

Innit blud

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:46, Reply)

I think I'm more irritable than glum today

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:46, Reply)

ble ting
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:48, Reply)

That too.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:49, Reply)

I watched Human Centipede 2 last night, Tangs
It was fucking horrible. I thought it was going to be stupid, like the first one. But it was revolting.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:49, Reply)

I thought the first one looked pretty fucking horrible

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:50, Reply)

The second one makes the first one look like fucking Tikkabilla.

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:52, Reply)

I haven't seen either, but I'd probably just fast forward to the sexy bits

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:52, Reply)

Don't
Just....don't.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Well you know that I always look to you for guidance on these matters, so that's all I need to know.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:55, Reply)

My brother reckons it's the funniest film he's ever seen*


*apart from 'Le Petomane'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)

The first one literally left me chuckling to myself
It's so dumb. But the second one contained some really horrific stuff. I've normally got a strong tolerance for these things, but this caught me off guard.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:58, Reply)

It was made independently by a fan of the first one, was it not?
It's not an actual sequel, right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)

No, it's by the same people
But set in London.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Human_Centipede_II
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Oh righto
Not my scene at all tbh - more of a 70s kung fu man.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

Me too
I learned a valuable less there, Monts.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Imma go watch The Prodigal Son
Wish I had some weed.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I've been watching Afro Samurai
It's anime, but with Samuel L Jackson doing the character's voice, and Rza from Wu Tang doing the music, it's a strong 7/10
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Look, shall we all just sack off work today and all meet down the park with a couple of cans and some weed?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)

That sounds wonderful

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I could cry.
I would love to go back to those simpler times SO MUCH.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

\o
That sounds like a great plan
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I'm in.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:42, Reply)

oh dear

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Quite

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

In fact, had I read that before I watched the film
I probably wouldn't have bothered.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

nah, same director
the version that came out had been heavily cut by the sensors I believe, the "dick wrapped in barbed wire rape scene" was not in the public interest somehow
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

I had the dubious honour of seeing the uncut version
Barbed wire, staples, dead baby...it was lovely stuff. :(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

what the bejeesus,
why would you watch that? Dead bady? Barbed wire rape. no thanks. I'll watch Point Break.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:07, Reply)

I fuckin love point break

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

we all do Bill,
we all do.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:10, Reply)

I. AM. AN. F. B. I. AAGENT!!!!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:11, Reply)

BECAUSE I'M AN IDIOT, OK?
Nah, I actually have a reason, but it's too stupid to utter here. Not wanking related, I assure you.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

did Baldmonkey double dare you?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:09, Reply)

HE'S NOT THE BOSS OF ME

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Shh it's ok, Twoey
He can't touch you here.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)

He's a monster, Tangled
:(
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I know, I know
You're with friends now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)

He can't get MARRRRRRR

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

+Satisfaction, but he tries, but he tries…….

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:16, Reply)

alright, calm down, he can't get you here.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)

It's OK, just listen to some Bob MARRley and chill out

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:16, Reply)

How does he like his doughnuts?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Wi' TOE CANCER in

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:31, Reply)

so what's so bad about it compared to the first one, the premise is the same isn't it? sticthcing arses to mouth

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

It's more visually horrific
Very little actually happens in the first one, to be honest. The second one is all about shock value really.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

Would you like me to realign your internet chakras?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Yer go on then

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:51, Reply)

*fists*
/ac
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:01, Reply)

In other news I am celebrating Friday with
Two fried eggs
Black pudding
Two bacon rashers
Grilled tomatoes
sausage
Tea
Bread & butter
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 8:51, Reply)

after your sandwich?
you fat fuck, you need to stay in shape now that you're back on the market. It's not easy to lose those love handles when you're over 40.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)

What sandwich?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

He thinks you're Al

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

HOW DARE HE. I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO INSULTED IN MY LIFE.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

well you are a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

You can be a bit of a cunt, but nowhere near his league

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

MARRed again :(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

:o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

are you offering battered a gob job? Cos I hope you don't mind him resting his pot belly on your head

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

What the fuck do think I am????
A LIMBO dancer?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Needs moar bacon

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

This is awful, just awful.
I can't believe Al lives two hours drive away from somewhere that sells sandwiches.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Basically nowhere closer will sell him anything, what with his reputation for kicking wing mirrors off their cars and so on.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

And being a cunt of course
You don't want to forget that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

So what is it exactly you're saying here?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

It's not quite clear to me either

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)

Stuff your name dropping Boyce.
I've just had an email from Eddie Izzard.

IN YOUR FACE.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Eddie Izzard is not funny.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

he used to be

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Wee Pee \o/

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

It wasn't a humourous email.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

i don't know what it is you do,
but i imagine he was e-mailing you about some sort of mens heels. Do you sell mens heels. like that film about cross dressers up north?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Battered has a sideline as as rather crude drag artiste.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

I don't see him denying it,
Battered is a tiny cross dresser.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Has he had a busy day today?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

alright Wilf.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

alright Win

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

you good?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)

It was to do with some campaigning work I did against the BNP at the last election.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)

hang on,
my brother got an e-mail from him too just now.
He's emailing around about disrupting EDL marches, my brother did the sound for one of his gigs in oxfortd like 3 years ago. His agent must have a long list of e-mail addresses.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:37, Reply)

That's it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)

can i still call you a cross dresser?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Do I really need another meme?
we already have:

short
alcoholic
prostitute murderer
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Yes.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:44, Reply)

i think the cross dressing thing would really top off your profile for when the police are looking for you after the breakdown where you go on a murder spree of all the women that ever laughed at you for being smaller than them.
You need to consider the entertainment value of the news coverage. you know.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:44, Reply)

There's a certain farcical charm to the image of Batso on the run in a pair of six inch stilettos.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:53, Reply)

fucking hell this would be a bad look

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:52, Reply)

he steals your old clothes.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Oh, this is to do with the antifa stuff?
Apparently Casuals United/Infidels/EDL are going to "Mass threaten some of his gigs" and they believe the threat to security will get them cancelled.

Yeah, because gig security people are totally unable to handle six fat racist skinheads off their tits on Stella.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:44, Reply)

this is also what I have heard.
Did you hear that interview with the lad that went on the March on LBC?
I felt so sorry for him, he just didn't understand what was going on, kept spouting mis-informed bollocks that he had clearly been brought to believe by the EDL bully boys. You just hope after that humiliating interview he went away and had a bit of a think.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:46, Reply)

The Woolwich incident has unfortunately boosted the EDL's numbers.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Not enough to matter.
And a lot of the new ones will forget all about it soon enough.

I understand the concerns, but there's a far greater risk in even vaguely being seen to take that pointless shower of racist fucks seriously.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:51, Reply)

it's terrifying.
you read some of the stuff they post on facebook, and their websites, and it's just, how can you not understand how you sound? how can you not understand the lies you are being told?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:53, Reply)

It's astonishing how retarded people can be
but that's the problem with the internet in general - anyone can shout loud enough for everyone to hear. But it's still only a really small number of people. Really small. The danger is not in them as they are, but in the majority taking them seriously as a threat, because that produces shit like UKIP.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:55, Reply)

^ this ^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)

yeah, i think UKIP is a more worrying,
seems they're keeping their heads down a bit amongst all of this, or is it just ihaven't noticed them due to the EDL heavy coverage?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:58, Reply)

Farage would REALLY like to be taken seriously
right now, he knows all he has is a protest vote in a meaningless set of local council elections. He has no power at all. The councillers he has in place are useless, because there isn't a single thing in the UKIP manifesto that is actually controlled by local councils (as a friend of mine said, "what are they going to do, turn up a refuse management meeting and demand the deporatation of all the brown bins?"). And he knows that, come the next general election, best case is they will get a much smaller protest vote maybe one or two MPs taken from the true blue Tory heartlands.

But if he is seen to be even vaguely supportive to or connected with anything to do with the EDL or what even the Tunbridge Wells set see as the far right, then he'll lose even that support. Not because UKIP supporters aren't racists, but because they see themselves as "tastefully racist"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:03, Reply)

It is extremely worrying.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Bellend in the pub last night told me that he no longer gets takeaways, as he doesn't want to 'fund the muslim bastards'
Fucking idiot.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:54, Reply)

yeah,
the locals down by me are getting a bit awkward to be around.
they've always been a staunchly conservative lot in the main, and the couple of us who are a bit more liberal tend to bite our tongues as it's easier that arguing with some of the old boys, but there's been a couple of times recently i've had to walk away, for fear of getting angry.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Do you have any ethnic minorities round your way?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:02, Reply)

In Oxford
Saudi Princes and so forth
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Steady on, not all muslims are fucking idiots AA

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:04, Reply)

Apparently there is an EDL march here on Saturday.
Not sure whether to go and protest it or refuse to dignify it by acknowledging them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Izzard "the eagle" Edwards
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Izzard Kidd, that just read 'MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM'.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)

die Izzard the duck
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Izzard Murphy
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Eddie Roy Wood off of W
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Oh, very good!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Nice one that man

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

this wins

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)

'dear fellow unfunny cross-dresser....'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:34, Reply)

Not bad thanks, in a good mood
Craving a McDonalds though, which is odd.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

YOU CAN'T AFFORD ONE YOU AWFUL DEBT RIDDLED PISS STAIN
GRUEL ONLY FOR YOU
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

Stop Trolling AA
The board gets all riled up when somebody mentions McDonalds
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

IT'S FUNY BECAUSE OF HIS DEBTS HE'LL SOON BE LIVING UNDER A BRIDGE LIKE A NTROLL

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)

you could always go and get a Mcdonalds,
I like one every now and again.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:16, Reply)

I like the sausage and egg mcmuffin
I'm not ashamed.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:17, Reply)

it's a rare breakfast treat,
i've always had a soft spot for sausages that are not sausage shaped. The day i found sausage meat in a loaf, was excellent, slices of sausages. SLICES!! IT COULD BE THE BREAD IN A SANDWICH!!
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Holy shit!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Good quality Scottish Lorne sausage is a triumph

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 31 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I had one of their veggie burgers in about 1996
I'm still a bit ashamed.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:21, Reply)

they have vegetarian burgers?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

They did in 1996
I've not been back to check if they still do them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

i'll ask next time i go in there,
if i remember,which i probably won't.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 31 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

They still made them when I worked there...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:29, Reply)

woah, do 'em

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Same, that's what I was considering

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

Whilst there is one within walking distance, I won't be able to get there until after 12, and it's breakfast I'm craving

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)

will it really take you 3 hours to waddle 500 yrds?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:30, Reply)

15 minute walk away, so can't sidle out, sadly

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:31, Reply)

The weather in Cornwall is epic and I am not at work today.
HTH
( Peej, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)

:(

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

I was OK until this last phone call
where some complete fucking numpty wants me to tell him where his file is, amongst 20 offices worth of files, and doesn't even know how to create a shortcut.

Sorry, but if you can't even do the most basic of things with a PC in a job where 99% of what you do is on a PC, you need either urgent re-training or firing off.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Just shut up and fix it

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I have
though not by my chosen method, which would have been to insert their keyboard into an orifice for which it certainly was not designed.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:40, Reply)

What orifices ARE keyboards designed for?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Keyboard drawers and.....er......that's it?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Or alternatively
if people could do the most basic things on a PC, 90% of tech support positions would be utterly redundant and you'd all be out of a job.

Looking at it from a different perspective.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:46, Reply)

these eczema riddled pasty shut ins don't know their born

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)

True, and the company would be more efficient as well
always amazes me they don't insist on at least a basic knowledge like ECDL level 1 or something.

90%is probably a slight exaggeration, but close to half wouldn't be wide of the mark
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:49, Reply)

how old are you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:54, Reply)

As old as my eyes and slightly older than my teeth

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:55, Reply)

the reason i ask is I'm 31
and I didn't really grow up with computers, yes they existed and i used them, but they were no way as ubiquitous as they are now or even 10 years ago.

I guess I feel I sit on a watershed for the computer savvy.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I've got a good 10 years on you, but I don't see that as an issue
other than like you I can remember the days when it was all paper and what computers there were lived in buildings of their own cos they were enormous.

Problem is people don't see a computer for what it is, just another tool, they see it as this shiny magic box that should do their work for them without any need for them to think (this is how Apple have been so successful as they have come the closest to this) Soon as it doesn't they whinge like fuck.

If your job involved spending all day using a power tool, you'd expect to know how to use it properly and safely - I just think the same should apply to computers.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:09, Reply)

your last example isn't valid at all, really
A computer is a meaningless distraction and side-tool for most jobs that just simply happens to be the most convenient method to communicate and produce documents.

Complaining that (for instance) Nakers or I should be more computer litereate is like complaining that your doctor is shit at his job because he doesn't know how to rebuild the gearbox on his Saab.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:16, Reply)

Why do all architects and doctors drive Saabs?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Because they aren't BMWs, Mercs or Audis.
And they aren't quite seen as the admission of defeat that a Volvo is.

It used to be Audis or Saabs. But now Audis are without a single exception driven by cunts, Mercs and BMWs are out still and Volvos are cooler and Saab is gone. So I guess they all drive Volvos now.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)

Most of the people I deal with spend 90% or more work time on the PC.
If you spend a lot less than that, then your need is less accordingly, but it would still be a help.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:40, Reply)

Still not really relevant.
I spend a large proportion of my time in an office. Doesn't mean that I should know how to design or build one.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 May 2013, 10:42, Reply)

Here you go Monty, cheer yourself up with this
A better use of today's 50p budget than your usual packet of misery noodles from sainsbo's:
trunkrecords.greedbag.com/buy/sleazerama-15-tassle-twizzlin-ti-1/
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)

that looks great

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:44, Reply)

You've got to love a good titty shaker.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:51, Reply)

it really does

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Morning Em Bee
I am neither glum nor unglum at the moment. Got a decent night's sleep but on the other hand am at work, so it balances out. Sucks about the flat.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 May 2013, 9:49, Reply)