hiya kids!
Good/bad/indifferent weekend? What's on for your week ahead?

I went to an all night rockabilly night on Saturday, that was good. What was less good was coughing up blood yesterday
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:11, 127 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Quiet-ish weekend
Slept brilliantly. Two 12 hour kips on consecutive nights.

The coughing up of blood doesn't sound at all good. You should go and see a doctor.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:32, Reply)

Marred
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:33, Reply)

Wazzup
I had a great weekend thank you very much, coughing up blood??? I'm no doctor but that doesn't really sound good.

No firm plans this week, as of yet.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:33, Reply)

quiet weekend
Just did some stuff, ken?

Coughing up blood? You should go and see Andrew Marr.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:40, Reply)

Bostin' weekend, thanks for asking...
...Saw a really good singer/guitarist on Saturday night - stayed far later than planned because he was so good.
Coughing up blood? Try not to die.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:44, Reply)

I hope they paid you overtime for staying on later

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:50, Reply)

Lovely weekend with the family, we had a great night at a mini festival in the countryside with friends
But having 6 screeching kids hanging off me demanding bubbles and tickles and games gets in the way of swigging pimms. The new ltd edition one is v nice, like alcoholic Ribena.

Blood? If it happens again, I will drag you to the dr myself!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:46, Reply)

Did the weather hold fair for you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:48, Reply)

it was cloudy but nice enough
which was lucky - it was a big charity do, and if it had rained, i reckon hardly anyone would have turned up, which would have been a real shame for the organisers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

It's probably just lung cancer, you big nancy.
Power through it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:59, Reply)

Excellent weekend, thank you
Coughing up blood? It's probably nothing. Or cancer. What am I, a doctor?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 7:59, Reply)

Good weekend thanks.
You've got piles on your vocal chords. Probably caused by talking out of your arse so much.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:10, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Good weekend
Had some friends round last night, finished up getting royally cunted through the medium of whisky, so feeling a bit weary this morning. First day of reorg at work, may not be a good one.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:26, Reply)

Morning
I had an excellent weekend, thanks. The details of which probably wouldn't make for 'good internet', so we'll leave it at that.

Rockabilly night sounds fun, shame about your lung cancer.
Coughed up any lumps yet?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:29, Reply)

I have a doctorate and therefore I am qualified to diagnose that you are fine, a litt bit of blood goes a long way.
99% of the time coughing up blood is just a sign of a lack of protein in your diet. For the next week or some eat less veg and more red meat.
( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:33, Reply)

Should he increase the amount he smokes as well?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:34, Reply)

The smoking causes cancer MYTH winds me up. Doctors used to prescribe these wonderful medicinal miricles
Smoke contains many ingredients that kill germs and keep you healthy. In lab testing they have found that Tar, Arsenic, Benzene, Cadmium, Formaldehyde, Polonium-210, Chromium, 1,3-Butadiene, Polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons, Nitrosamines and Acrolein all kill cancer cells. They say smokers are 30% more likely to die from cancer which means non smokers are up to 70% more likely to die from it. That's maths AND science.
( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)

or 'MIENCE' as we experts call it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

My Doctorate is in Medical Mience

( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:51, Reply)

did it have "studies" on the end, like all legitimate courses?
"scientific studies"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Yes and it was at a former polytechnic just like all proper universities.

( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)

how positively ghastly

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Excuse me but I believe my doctorate in Medical Mience Studies from Bath Spa
is better than any shit qualification you've ever got.
( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)

I know how to give him some protein, if you know what I mean, do you know what I mean? I think you know what I mean.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Mushrooms?

( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)

salmon coated in crushed doritos with orange marmalade

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

That just might work!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Ignore me, I'm an idiot
it's obviously LEMON marmalade with salmon, I can't believe I made such a basic error.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Coughing up blood?
luckily for you the gold standard treatment for that is now 'tell the internet'.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)

Phew! I was a bit worried for a moment there.
Totes cancelling that doc appointment now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)

so it's pumping AND jumping on here this morning
i've got a very hard day ahead, the least you retards could do is lighten it up for me. what else do you get paid for?

week ahead: gym, drinks, date, party, wimbledon final (drinking and watching, not playing, just in case there was any doubt).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

I had an excellent food and beer weekend, and it cost me next to nothing.
Duck breast on Friday night (holy fuck, it was fantastic) followed by a couple of ales, large portion of fish and chips on Saturday, before a few beers out in the evening, then roasted pork tenderloin for lunch yesterday. Feeling fucking massive after that though, worth it.

You like rockabilly? Fair enough. Only band I know that plays that sort of stuff is Volbeat.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)

My weekend was alright thanks.
Yesterday I cooked for a dinner party and I made lovely lovely food.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:18, Reply)

that thai thing looked nice
i love courgettes and red chillis
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:20, Reply)

Thanks, it was really good.
I made my own thai paste and everything. Not a single jar of pre-made stuff.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:35, Reply)

It was a weekend of highs and lows.
og somehow contrived to get herself assaulted by a doorman. Since I generally don't take kindly to half-sentient gorillas throwing ten stone girls around, I've told the pub to start an investigation in the hopes that we'll have enough evidence to pin the guy with a charge.

Saturday was my mum's birthday lunch and yesterday we went to Portsmouth to look at the ships and that and I got well tanned, which is nice.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)

You took og to Windy's pub?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:26, Reply)

No, it was some leaving do in Uxbridge.
I wish it was Windy's pub. A quick gaz and the doorman would've been found in some kharzi in a different pub in a different part of town having taken an unexpected career move into no longer breathing.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

superb

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I spent the weekend settling in to my new job.
Seems okay so far, but this 'working for a living' thing is really knackering.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Careful all those BBC news and Grauniad pages don't burn you out.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:26, Reply)

What now?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Job? Doing what?
are you now being paid to be your husband's carer?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Oh, do keep up, Titch.
I'm gainfully employed now and everything. Well, part time, but it's a start.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Working part time is knackering?
Jesus. You're more of a Placid than Placid.
( Kroney, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:32, Reply)

It's just a bit of a culture shock at the moment.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Also
I hope you get raped by that doorman and kill yourself.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)

oh i did enjoy this

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Whatcha doin' ?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Turning tricks under the pier.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Sssshhhhhhh. Don't tell everyone.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I went to the Zoo, it was full of drunk hipsters but it was fun.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Most zoos are usually filled with animals.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)

i saw sleeping anteaters and giraffes and kangaroos and emus and a tiger and a porcupine and a girl being sick in a bin.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Apparently girls being sick in bins are a protected species now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:27, Reply)

I think the zoo is starting a breeding program behind the penguin enclosure.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I hope you told her to stay about from it in future.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I'm taking Micro this afternoon after postponing on Friday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)

It should be good. The Kangaroos and giraffes are a highlight.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)

she liked the gorillas last time.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)

probably reminded her of her daddy

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)

No Medical Advice for our friend?

( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Diagnosis: Self inflicted

(PsychoChomp, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Dick Van Dyke's less successful ....

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Morning hippy.
Coughing blood doesn't sound that healthy, I'd see one of these doctor chappies. Apparently women are allowed to be doctors these days, so you may get one of these. Women I mean.
Is the blood thing directly connected to Saturday night revelry?
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)

More likely he'll get a pakistani doctor, he'll like that.

( Peej, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Iwillbeseeingyounowsir

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 9:51, Reply)

i've tried to breathe life into this place with a new thread
i said tried
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)

Mrs Cow's mother in on the final furlong so she's been down there all weekend
I've put 32m square of flooring down, sliced a hole in my finger and broken my spine standing up under the breakfast bar. I've also done 8hrs overtime

SO NO, NOT A FUCKING GREAT WEEKEND

Thanks
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 1 Jul 2013, 10:01, Reply)