The whole fucking lot of them are a Lord of the Rings/Conan hybrid.
Formulaic to an almost zen-like level and utterly without merit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:40, 1 reply, 12 years ago)

I've never bothered with Tolkien either.
Sometimes you just know that something isn't for you.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:42, Reply)

The Hobbit was a childhood favourite of mine.
His expert knowledge of Northern European folklore/language etc made him capable of creating an entirely plausible world which every other prick since has struggled to come near to.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)

He taught my grandma at Oxford, fact faneroonies.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Helms deep is also based on Cheddar Gorge Factfans

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

I was Helms Deep in YM last night

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:49, Reply)

I hope you didn't gorge yourself to much

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Now there's a money-spinning hole in the ground, if ever there was one.
50 quid it cost me to take the tangle family in there a month or so ago.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)

It's not even vegetarian Cheddar.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Calf-murdering yokel pricks.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

I did the cheese factory tour it fucking reeks
There is a sweet shop there that makes taffy from scratch that you can go and watch.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Do they still race the open top coach down the gorge road?
It was worth the money just for that
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)

I watched the first part of the film a few weeks back and having also read the book
I can see that wingnut films or whatever are trying to milk the fuck out of it by stretching it over 3 parts
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Yup, there aren't three films in it.
It's one of the reasons it's a better book than Lord of the Rings, because it doesn't drag on so much.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:48, Reply)

I have read both and LOTR was extremely hard work at times

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)

Some heavy editing would have improved it a great deal.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)

The whole Tom Bombadill bit could be fucked off
They have introduced him in the "Unexpected Journey" film WHY....JUST WHY?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:55, Reply)

I hate Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Bikini.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:57, Reply)

It's no agadoo that's for sure

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

I believe that's Black Lace.
He was the villain in 'Robin Hood: Men In Tights'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)

stop wearing it then, no one's forcing you.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Actually the reason I've been away was that I'd been Fritzl'd by Timmy Mallet.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:00, Reply)

Three times I've stopped after about 50-75 pages. I won't be trying it a fourth.
I got as far as halfway throughthe second film before I accepted that it bored me to tears in any form.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)

We read parts of it in school, something to do with first world war perspectives
So I thought I may as well wallow through the rest of it and wallow I did
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)

Last night I dreamt I'd written The Hobbit.
Woke up this morning and realised I'd been Tolkien in my sleep.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)

ho ho

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 9:31, Reply)