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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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urgh I'm fucking hanging
u jel?

Alt: good weekend?

Altalt: anything exciting happening this week? MY MUM'S EXCITING HAHHAHAfuck off
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:00, 211 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Morning!
I feel fine today, despite going to the pub yesterday and having more to drink than planned.

This week is all about work and rest before next weekend.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:20, Reply)
Morning hippy.
Yeah, had a belting few days at the festival. Highlight were the Cockney Rejects, never was a fan, live they were fucking stunning. The energy was stupendous. That's often the case, hear something recorded, and it's meh,see the band on stage and they blow you away. The Clash being a point in example.
Anyway, why are you feeling shit?
And morning Mr Fucker.
Edit, I've loads of work stuff from Wednesday, I just can't bring it to look in my diary. I'll leave it till I get home later.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:29, Reply)
I was never a fan but Police Car is a brilliant song
Got pissed up dint I
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:42, Reply)
Alright.
My first weekend out of the pub was good.
Didn't go all out, but enjoyed it. Now for a week of doing dine bits around the house, service the car, see some friends and do my reading for the course. It's like being some sort of adult.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:32, Reply)
sweet bruv

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:47, Reply)
Have you grown up?
I hope to one day.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:52, Reply)
'ning Monce
I'm all good thanks, ready and rearing for an action packed week.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:35, Reply)
alright Montmaster Boyce
I was up in Edinburgh this weekend.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:40, Reply)
I thought August was the month in which to avoid that city like the plague

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:44, Reply)
Maybe the clown act deserved a bigger audience.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:49, Reply)
Maybe he was trying to get a foot in the door, so to speak

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:06, Reply)
Didn't need to go to Edinburgh then

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:06, Reply)
A whole city full of people like Dozer and Emvee.
Imagine it Monters, IMAGINE IT.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:07, Reply)
*imagines it*


*cries*
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Saturday was dreadful. Fucking SHIT.
Sunday was ok.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:50, Reply)
What happened?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:53, Reply)
Problems with the ex.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:57, Reply)
Sticking her corpse unde rthe patio is soooooooh 90s.
Date up, dude, date up.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:04, Reply)
Sorry to read that.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
Mine collapse?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:00, Reply)

Mine col Anal pro
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:03, Reply)
I'll bet you can make it be less bad through diplomacy.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)
Will see what my brief says this morning.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)
Nah, better if you pop round and have it out with her after spending the afternoon in the pub.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)
I hope he doesn't get throttled, like someone we could mention

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:32, Reply)
I went to the pub last night and had ONE PINT.
I spent the rest of the weekend sleeping and watching cricket.
Oh yeah, NO CRICKET CHAT ETC
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 7:52, Reply)
I've just had a quick look at last weeks threads..
is that really the return of Frank?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:09, Reply)
It would seem so.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:10, Reply)
*facepalms*

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:11, Reply)
hahahah yeah hahahaha

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:12, Reply)
Who's Frank?
And what's the obsession with the 'haha yeah' stuff?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:14, Reply)
check 'em

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)

(◉‿◉)
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:19, Reply)
He's a mentally ill northerner who repeats himself endlessly
I would think it to be tragic were I the 'feeling sorry for the afflicted' type. He's about 50 but spends his time posting American teenage internet memes.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
The tragedy is that this is most likely him at the exhilarating hypomanic end of the scale
I doubt he posts so much when he's plumbing the depths of depression.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:47, Reply)
After a break, the triumphant return of Frank
Laugh til you burst as he brings with him his act of the same old shit as always
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:17, Reply)
Well his new account is out of the sandbox on /talk
which was the only reason he posted on /ot in the first place
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)
Is he the hahahahahyeshahahaha one?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)
yep

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)
I am annihilated.
Sent the groom some texts that were funny at the time but have now become painfully embarrassing. Yesterday was spent with my head in my hands.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:15, Reply)
So you got wrecked and made a knob of yourself.
Welcome to the club.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:20, Reply)
Sounds like standard wedding behavior.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)
What exactly did you say in these text messages?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)
yes.
word for word, please.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Not in the slightest.
Through a combination of Lighty's patented Eating to Prevent Hangover Method™ and not drinking excessively last night, I am feeling fine.

Alt: Yes. Excellent, in fact.

Altalt: Leaving the country on Saturday.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)
Do you like ABC gum?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:22, Reply)
African Bum Cleaner gum?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)
*spits gum in your face*
there you go, already been chewed gum!
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:24, Reply)
Oh man I walked straight into that one!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:26, Reply)
POW!!!!!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:46, Reply)
I need a holiday, where's nice in September?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:31, Reply)
The Yemen

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:32, Reply)
Why do they get a "the"?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:37, Reply)
The Gambia get one too.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:03, Reply)
As does The Gabon.
Certain London roads do as well: The Marylebone Road for example. The Hackney Road. The Old Kent Road.

What's all that about eh?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:26, Reply)
Bilderberg

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
The Lebanon

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:34, Reply)
Egypt/Syria/Blackpool

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:36, Reply)
+ Munich, everybodyzzzzz

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:37, Reply)
I'm in Blackpool at mo.
If you like large breakfasts, £1.50 a pint karaoke bars and nightly violence, welcome.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)
I'm sold.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:42, Reply)
I'd rather skip breakfast and pay £10 a pint than go anywhere near that place

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
^ THIS ^

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:44, Reply)
I'd rather never eat again in my life
and spend the next ten years chained to a radiator in an Afghan terror camp than spend even 15 seconds there.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:48, Reply)
I'll make some calls
INFIDEL!
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:25, Reply)
I'll pass

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
The bottom of a lake.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:38, Reply)
Have they built one of those new fangled underwater hotels?
Could be fun, probably only for one or two nights though
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:39, Reply)
Atlantis?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:39, Reply)
There's probably a theme club in Milton Keynes called atlantis

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:41, Reply)
With a DJ that fades out the chorus of the 'big tunez' so the 'crowd' can sing along.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Eastbourne.
www.atlantisnightclub.co.uk/
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:45, Reply)
Fucking hell
www.atlantisnightclub.co.uk/nightclub-gallery/show.asp?gallery=1615
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I need to give birth to a couple of chilli-flecked arse-burgers
Those fellas are gonna stink the whole building out. I've gotta get them out before they dissolve me from within.

Alt: Pretty dull. Watched a couple of good films.

Altalt: Fuck all
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:50, Reply)
I've got my kid staying.
Her farts smell like a middle aged man's.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 8:52, Reply)
Watched this, it was quite good:
www.imdb.com/title/tt2330322/?ref_=sr_1

Also watched The Purge. It was exceedingly stupid.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:02, Reply)
Morn.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)
Hel.
Ok?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:04, Reply)
K.
U?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Yeah, alright
Lot of sick people here today. Must be something in the water.

I got one of those MXR zakk wylde chorus pedals. It's really good. Would recommend.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:09, Reply)
My brother has one, they're great fun to mess with.
Maybe the ill people are gods way of telling you to do the good thing and put them all out of their misery. Murder spree twoey. Murder spree.

I've got to go find my bicycle. It broke when I was on the way home on Friday, and I don't remember where I locked it up.
I'd been drinking you see.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)
It'll probably be in the last place you look
Alternatively, you could continue searching for it even after you find it.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
That's what I do.
Just in case, you know.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:24, Reply)
I watched "man of Tai Chi" it was pretty damn good if you like people fighting with no real plot.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
I know I do.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:14, Reply)
It's directed by Keanu Reves...
but, it's really about a little chinky bloke doing crazy fighting. I enjoyed.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)
Those are the ones I like.
Have you seen Ip Man? That's ace.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)
I have not, but I'll look into it tonight.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)
There's an Ip Man 2 as well
As with all these things it's terrible Chinese propaganda but great nonetheless. Ip Man was Bruce Lee's teacher.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)
I will check it out.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
Who doesn't?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:15, Reply)

www.imdb.com/title/tt2016940/
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)
Wankers?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:18, Reply)
Hiya!!!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Look who it is!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Who?
Oh right, me.
Yeah, hi Twoser
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
^ prick

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
NEVA 4GET

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
And pricks, Monts
Don't forget the pricks
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)
I wish I could.
I wish.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
That looks alright

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:17, Reply)
Yeah, it was pretty good
I like the mockumentary style anyway, as long as it's done well.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)
For fuck's sake. I feel vile.
Going back to bed, right here.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:06, Reply)
I have staff off sick too.
EVERYONE'S DYING
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:20, Reply)
I bought SportsCalf 2 a new bike at the weekend
Built that and went out in the street with him on it. Finished some house stuff, ate peri peri chicken things and also went exploring rockpools next to the lighthouse
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Some proper weekending by the Sportscow right here

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Damn right
I also drank beer and had a fire
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Sweet
I done a fire last Saturday. It was well boss. We toasted marshmallows and melted jelly cubes. GET IN!
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:16, Reply)
This was purely functional fire
I have a large amount of garden to clear!


(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)
Holy moley
I struggled to find enough dry wood for mine. Turns out you've got it all.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:27, Reply)
Plenty more where that came from too

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
steady on
It doesn't grow on trees, you know.

/dad
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
paedo scum

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Well that too

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
I watched YM and her bird going at it like a couple of trannies.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:19, Reply)
Pegging FTW.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:21, Reply)
But you didn't, did you?
Lying again.

FFS
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Fair dos. I didn't.
But I did knock one out on the strength of it.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)
But that's just it, isn't it?
You didn't even do that.

Have you ever told the truth even once in your life?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
Fair dos. I didn't.
But I did knock one out.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)
*sigh*
This cavalcade of untruths is going to have to end some time, you know.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Are trannies particuarly amorious? I donno, I don't have much experiance with them.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)
I'm fairly perky
Drank too much Thursday so the only alcohol that has passed my lips since then is a pint with my Sunday Roast. My weekend consisted mostly of grown-up constructor sets and a wander round some Shoreditch hipster shops. I almost bought an enormous stuffed owl in a junk shop but I have nowhere to put it :(
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:22, Reply)
Noel's post on your FB status was rather lol

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:23, Reply)
It's no laughing matter
I need those short dowels, man, I need them bad.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Take your two long dowels, right?
Cut them in half and you have four short dowels.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)
+ and then cram them all up your cock end

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
And shit out a chest of drawers.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
If only I had a saw.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)
You don't have...what sort of a man are you?
Use a sharp, serrated knife if you must.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)
The sort that uses a saucepan for a hammer
The big jessie.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)
I bought a hammer
Don't think I actually have any hammering left to do, but better late than never.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:34, Reply)
I can lend you one

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)
Cheers
Here's somewhere you can move once your flat's sold: wjlondon.com/brompton-road-tube-goes-on-sale/
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)
I'd love to live in an old stube station

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Who wouldn't?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:08, Reply)
What was it?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Look at this,' awwwww'

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Pirates are OVAH

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)
Green door what's that secret you're keepin'?
NINJAS!
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Drug dealers of East London BEWARE

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Do you like my mod doormat?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:36, Reply)
MODS!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
*fingers dog*

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
I spotted that and was just thinking up some suitable abuse.
Ah this ought to do: Mod prick
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
BELL BOY STRIKETHROUGH END!!!!!!!!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)
The mystery that baffled Shakin' Stevens is finally answered.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)
MARRstery

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Love it!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)
Haha, that's great !

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)
Nope, not feeling great either
Alt: Aye, was good thanks. Lot of drinking and seeing friends.

AltAlt: Nope.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Well I can't get onto the VPN...might as well go home

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Ah, well.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Please post the text messages now thank you

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)
sooooooo much this
it was a cock shot, wasn't it?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
Nothing so classy.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
Goatse?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
kroney is jealous of the goatse guy
he has a better arse
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
And is married.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
He most certainly does NOT

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
Yeah me neither - apart from their first album.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:41, Reply)
I've heard you're 'hanging' like a hamster.
This week will mostly consist of work, house clearing, tip runs, and training for Saturday.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)
Hung LIKE a hamster more like.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
Do you think that might possibly have been 'the joke'?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
It must have been at angels one five
to have gone that far over his lumbering head.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
Out of boredom, I've just read the Fire Action poster. Never bothered before.
If I discover a fire at night, the first thing I must do is put on a dressing gown. Helpful.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
A highly flammable one, I hope.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
They're often made of flammable material, so this should hasten your demise.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)
flaMARRble

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
FFS

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
FMARRS

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
Something something highly flamMARRble

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)
i'm tired after a weekend of excesses and driving back from the wasteland that is the midlands last night
straight into hours of traffic, which i had to avoid by stealthly ninja-ing down various a-roads. christ there are some dull/grotty bits of this country.

on the plus side, a senior chanel make-up guy told me that my eyes were nicer than any model he'd ever worked with. and he was gay, so it wasn't sleazy. in your FACES, models!
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)
'if only they both faced in the same direction'

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
homophobe

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)
officelol

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:00, Reply)
You visited a dull/grotty bit of the country and didn't pop in to say hi?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
no, the bit i visited (sutton coldfield) was nice
it was the bits surrounding junctions 10-6 of the m40 that were rank
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
It was empty flattery.
Soz.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)
it was NOT
he spent a long time giving me tips

so there
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)
He spent all that time
and you didn't even let him get his whole fingers in?

That's cold, man. COLD.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)
i'm not a kfc bargain bucket!

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
Greasy box lolz

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)
Sorry, that was really unpleasant.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)
go be unpleasant to frank
he has just posted "monday yeah haha"

go and ask him if it really matters what day it is to him...
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Is that the King Zog guy then?
I thought he was someone before that that posted normally?
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:15, Reply)
Used to be Gilgamesh on /talk
Has never posted normally.

Post drivel until banned. Rinse and repeat ad nauseum.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
that's the one

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:21, Reply)
I expect he tells all the women he works on something similar.
As it's difficult to apply make-up to the typical tear-streaked, crow's-feet laden face of somebody of your advanced years unless they're smiling.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)
pfffffft
it was at a party, not in a shop. these are glittering chips that will not be one whit sullied by your bitter acidic piss, however much you try to squeeze out a few drops.
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:58, Reply)
You'll have looked like Barbara Cartland.

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 9:59, Reply)
when have you ever seen me wear pink?

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)
"Nice eyes"
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1821835
(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:01, Reply)
usually when men say it, they mean "nice tits" but think that "eyes" makes them sound more sensitive

(, Mon 12 Aug 2013, 10:04, Reply)

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