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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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i just had to get my eyes tested etc for new specs
they took photos of the insides of my eyes and all sorts.

the optician was unbelievably hot. i noticed him alright. are you a hot optician?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:49, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
did they do that puff of air thing?
I hate that
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:50, Reply)
THREE TIMES IN EACH EYE, TO TAKE AN AVERAGE, HE SAID
ended up being about 15 per eye, as i kept blinking. you know it's coming, you blink.

also they put dye in them. i REALLY hate that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)

dye spunk
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
Three times in each eye, said Chompy
and suddenly Swipe's stumbling around bouncing off pavements and convinced that Lord Lucan's ringing her from class 5B
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
and i suppose you think this is a "coincidence" too?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
No, it seems like a pretty clear cut case of audible delusions brought on by the concussive force
of taking a pasty 30 year old internet virgin's load straight to the face.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)
it had a fairly long time delay

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)
That's out of order, talking about a man's performance like that.
You should be ashamed of yourself.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:58, Reply)
hahaha
you so know the women in your office have discussed MUCH more in terms of detail and depth...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:00, Reply)
'merde'

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:03, Reply)
it's so true
women tell each other everything.

EVERYTHING.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
Yeah, I get comments every now and again.
Not leaked by the current, I should say. Previouses have been less than discrete.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
serves you right for dipping that nib in all that office ink!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
The reception staff get drunk and leery at office parties.
It's intensely embarrassing.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:08, Reply)
who the hell leers over the IT department??

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:10, Reply)
You haven't seen our receptionists.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:12, Reply)
what, like mechanics when they're appraising your motor?
ooh, that retinas seen better days
(I helped save b3ta! Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)
basically yer
except that my retinas are perfect, apparently. at least something is.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
THey shine a strobe into your eyeballs to see if your timing belt's on the wonk

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
I like this.

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:53, Reply)
no, i'm an average looking office worker

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:52, Reply)
oh
erm..... ok, unzip and walk around with it hanging out all afternoon. that'll get you noticed for sure.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:53, Reply)
i don't know, my willy is very small, barely noticeable

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
so strap a magnifying glass over it

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
thats thinking outside the erm "box"

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:58, Reply)
HA HA SPECCY TWAT

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:54, Reply)
i really have no idea why you got dumped

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:55, Reply)
That's because I haven't told you, YOU MASSIVE SPECCY TWAT

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
I can't believe he hasn't posted his story on qotw

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:56, Reply)
i bet it's because he was too sensitive and complimentary

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:57, Reply)
HEY! YOU FOUR EYED BASTARD
I'm *lovely*, actually.
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 14:58, Reply)
yes i can totally see that

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:01, Reply)
with the help of my new glasses (gucci, btw, i loved the jimmy choos but they did NOT suit me)

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:01, Reply)
WAIT.....you wear glasses?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:02, Reply)
only for driving and the cinema

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:02, Reply)
Those massive cinema screens are pretty difficult to see

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:03, Reply)
i want to look intellectual at the curzon innit

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:05, Reply)
HA HA SPECCY TWAT

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:03, Reply)
i have no idea why you got dumped
*groundhog days*
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:05, Reply)
That's because I haven't told you, YOU MASSIVE SPECCY TWAT

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:06, Reply)
sensitive blah compliments blah

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 18 Sep 2013, 15:07, Reply)

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