Mashed potato
Always end up with lumps in it, no matter how long I take over it. Clearly a mong.

Morning all
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:22, 4 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Buy a potato ricer
www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-potato-ricer/p230954591
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Does that change the texture much?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:33, Reply)

It's excellent, I have one
I resisted for a while as it looked a bugger to clean but now I wouldn't go back to a masher.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:34, Reply)

Makes it smoother. Texture is also influenced by the amount of butter, milk etc. that you add.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:35, Reply)

May well give it a go

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:54, Reply)

1) make sure you buy floury potato rather than waxy ones
2)add melted butter and a splash of milk to the pan prior to adding the spuds
3) ensure the spuds are as dry as possibly prior to putting them back in the pan
4) once you have been through them with the masher get a wooden spoon and beat them.

should get lumps out
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Think point 1 is likely where I go wrong
I mainly just buy whatever potatoes are there.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:33, Reply)

Larger types like Maris Piper or Kind Edward for mashing and roasting
Smaller types like Charlotte for boiling
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)

although with a ricer you can get decent results from Charlottes

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Well I dare say if you dropped a grand piano from a 3rd floor window they'd probably mash up alright as well

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:42, Reply)

point 3 is important too
if there is too much water left on/in the boiled spuds you end up with wallpaper paste
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:36, Reply)

In order
1) yes
2) what?
3) see above
4) what?

Here's what you do

1) boil spuds
2) drain spuds
3) add butter and a splash of milk
4) mash the fuckers

It's really not difficult at all. The wrist action during mashing is quite important though...down and twist.

Strikethrough coming in 3,2,1...
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:35, Reply)

see above for point 3 explaination
if you heat the butter and milk prior to adding the spuds you get a smoother mixture,
the spoon bit at the end is an optional extra.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:38, Reply)

I can't say I have a problem with lumpy mash
So I don't see the need to over-complicate it for the poor lad.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)

Make the mash with baked potatoes, this way you avoid the excess water associated with boiling
Heat the milk/cream/butter before mashing it in

Stop being a potato spastic
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:40, Reply)

*preheated milk and butter fives*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)

^^Ironing spastic

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:43, Reply)

I've not heard the baked potato idea before, not a bad idea.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 10:00, Reply)

Luckily Yahoo has all the answers
answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20061116203431AAC7PSt
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:41, Reply)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20121009091513AAkmGAe
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:42, Reply)

answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20110804115010AAYB6T4
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 18 Feb 2014, 9:44, Reply)