Good morning B3TA and how the devil are you all?
The sun is shining and, surprise surprise, I don't have a hangover! This could be the perfect start to a perfect day - other than the fact I'm working at a trade show all day.
What, oh best beloved, are your plans for this glorious day? Will you take a lazy punt down the river and eat cucumber sandwiches? Will you spend quality time with your loved ones? Or, will you sit at your fetid desk, curtains drawn, wanking like a demented chimp to the latest version on 'Anal granny farmyard'?* Enlighten us!

Alt: Cheese on toast - an acceptable breakfast?

Altalt:I dunno - something about otters perhaps?

*My money's on this one.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 17 May 2014, 7:59, 38 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Morning Capn
I've had scrambled eggs and coffee and am ready to face the world. Patio completion is imminent, followed by BBQ I think
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 17 May 2014, 8:34, Reply)

Also, cheese on toast is acceptable

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 17 May 2014, 8:35, Reply)

Thanks for the affirmation re cheese on toast
i will have a substantial breakfast as catering at trade shows is:-
A) Eye wateringly expensive
B) Horrendously crap quality and
C) HOW FUCKING MUCH? £14.50 FOR ONE COFFEE AND TWO SANDWICHES?? WHERE'S YOUR MASK AND PISTOL YOU THIEVING BASTARD!!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 17 May 2014, 8:40, Reply)

Yes, but it needs a splash of Lea and Perins.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 8:56, Reply)

Nah, Worcestershire sauce has got anchovies in it
Either Marmite on the toast before the cheese goes on, or Encona pepper sauce smothered over the top.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 8:59, Reply)

Shove it up your arse you food wrong.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:02, Reply)

I DON'T WANT FUCKING ANCHOVIES ALRIGHT

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:09, Reply)

It it because Jimmy 'The Beast' Savile put them up your bum?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:10, Reply)

It's because he didn't respond to my letter asking him to fix it for me to have anchovies put up my bum

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:13, Reply)

That's the same reason I don't like raw cheese. No one understands.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)

I'm here for you, man

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:15, Reply)

Cheers Tangledup 'The Beast' inblue

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Hopefully one day I'll put some cheese up your bum and you can reciprocate with some anchovies

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)

I like to think that our paths have crossed for a higher purpose such as this.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)

raw cheese?
You mean milk?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 17 May 2014, 11:21, Reply)

No. I mean raw cheese.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 11:42, Reply)

Have a bacon sandwich.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:11, Reply)

Nah, Quorn bacon repeats on me for the rest of the day

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Sounds 'fucking shit'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Scrambled eggs is a good idea

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Alt: cheese on toast is lunch

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:00, Reply)

It really is a lovely day today.
I might have to do something interesting.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:14, Reply)

I'm going to get a haircut, and there is a new 'sandwich bar' next door, Imma see what it's all about

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:19, Reply)

How's the beard coming along?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:20, Reply)

I have a good weeks growth, but I think I might falter today and trim back to my trademark stubble

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Swipe's still in bed.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Sat 17 May 2014, 10:18, Reply)

My money is on it being all about sandwiches.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:23, Reply)

There's a lot of talk, a lot of hub-bub, I'm hearing that these sandwiches are outstanding.
As the rightful king of Cheriton, I need to give it my approval.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:25, Reply)

It's only a matter of time before you get a blue plaque for your house.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:31, Reply)

Am I going to die soon? :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:40, Reply)

Depends on which sandwich you get.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 9:46, Reply)

I have been up since 6
Taken dog for walk in nature reserve. Mowed the lawn and weeded front garden. Taking all this into account what time is it acceptable to have a beer in the sunshine
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Sat 17 May 2014, 10:09, Reply)

10.14

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sat 17 May 2014, 10:12, Reply)

Thanks bro

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Sat 17 May 2014, 11:37, Reply)

arr capn
Walked into Manchester to do a bit shopping. Gonna cut the grass.
Will prob be in the other halfs garden this evening. Booze and a blaze.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 17 May 2014, 11:19, Reply)

...and a bumming

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 17 May 2014, 11:50, Reply)

dur

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Sat 17 May 2014, 17:06, Reply)

+uphill

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 17 May 2014, 14:55, Reply)