Morning all
I am going to a corporate away day today, I think it'll be alright as we'll at least be outside. Do you do team building/corporate bollocks?

Alt: anyone growing any veg?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:00, 114 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Good this innit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:21, Reply)

Everyone in the firm had a go on YM, does that count as teambuilding?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:21, Reply)

Occasionally a load of us go out and get pissed.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:21, Reply)

To try and blank out the crushing tedium and pointlessness of your existence?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:24, Reply)

He lives in ipswich
Why would you say this?

Oh.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Hahahahah!
I didn't know he lived in Ipswitch, poor weasely fucker
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:27, Reply)

Get a load of you two getting all snooty just because you live in Harlow.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:36, Reply)

I dunno where that is soz
What the hell made you live in Ipswitch? Is it a form of self harm?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Possibly, if I lived there.
Harlow's in Essex innit. You DO live in the county town of Essex, right?
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:42, Reply)

I'm in winchester these days, Hampshire

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:44, Reply)

Just Swipe that lives in Essex getting all sneery then.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:45, Reply)

I thought she was in west kensington

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:46, Reply)

It's Hammersmith.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:48, Reply)

Oh dear :(
Poor swipe
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:49, Reply)

Yeah, that's a street in the county town of Essex innit.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:48, Reply)

He can count up to 12 pints instead of 10 on his fingers though

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:28, Reply)

I'm impressed by anyone that can count after 12 pints

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:41, Reply)

Generally, we go out for an excellent meal, then get shitfaced.
But that's about all, really.

Considering doing a small BBQ this weekend, as the weather is meant to be fantastic.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:24, Reply)

Nandos and a crate of tenants in the park it is

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Never had Nandos.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:26, Reply)

Too povvo even for Nandos^

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:29, Reply)

My wife bought me a set of nandos "hot" sauces
I've had more spicy ketchup.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:31, Reply)

Nah, there isn't one near me
The closest one is next door to a Frankie and Bennys, and that's just not a choice. F&B every time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

I've said it before and I'll say it again
AA is the man that Psychochomp could never ever be.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:38, Reply)

Lol

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:38, Reply)

He's even fucked a mad ginger off of here before Chompy did.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:42, Reply)

I tell you what, if you ever moved to Cov, you would shit yourself at the range of fantastic 'restaurants' we have to offer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:56, Reply)

If I want to go to an actual restaurant, I'd head to Alderley Edge
Gusto is a particular favourite, as is Alderley Bar & Grill (even if it is seriously fucking expensive)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Do ribs, marinated the day before and slow cooked in the oven then finished on the BBQ
This is not a suggestion
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:26, Reply)

May well do that if I can get to my wholesaler tomorrow...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:28, Reply)

Yer, you'd better...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Yer...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

Every year we have a boring away day at a hotel
The food is good though.

Alt. No. Sorry.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:29, Reply)

Please note that the annual team building day is compulsory and is a great opportunity to bond with your colleagues
You get out what you put in so please maintains a Positive attitude especially around more junior members of your team.

Kind regards

The HR team
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:37, Reply)

Is that a real email?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:51, Reply)

To peej, yes

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Thankfully, no, but the new practice manager refers to us as 'team' in group emails, so it may just be a matter of time. They sound ghastly.
Alt, yes, I'm going to do a thread about it, maybe one on chickens too, maybe beekeeping ?
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:32, Reply)

I would love some chickens and maybe a pig

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:34, Reply)

No, because we aren't cunts. We are mates and we go to the pub like normal people.
Alternative: no because I'm not a cunt, I go out for dinner and have someone cultivate, prepare and cook veg for me like normal people.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:43, Reply)

Do you need a cuddle Meaty?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:44, Reply)

Yes please. Hey! I'm not at work yet!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:45, Reply)

Me neither, train is on a go slow, I may miss breakfast at this rate :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:46, Reply)

I'm not leaving until 10 \o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:47, Reply)

Get you BIG DAWG

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:48, Reply)

I might go part time, I think that would be better

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:50, Reply)

But at the same salary yeah?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:52, Reply)

Nah, they can just pay me hourly or summink. Who needs money?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

AA does, to pay his enormo-debts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:03, Reply)

I am on a go slow.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:47, Reply)

As opposed to?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:49, Reply)

HEY!
I am fucking important.

I am chairing an intenational conference later.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:52, Reply)

You're going to the pub with Pablo from the mail room aren't you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:53, Reply)

Vladimir.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:56, Reply)

Has lemmy met them yet?

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:50, Reply)

Met who?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:50, Reply)

Your work "friends"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:52, Reply)

I may not have told them about the budgie.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

Alt: Pretty sure Dominoes don't cultivate, prepare and cook veg for you, or normal people.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:55, Reply)

That's fine, as I wouldn't be going 'out' for a pizza. Nor would I expect a pizza to fulfil my vegetable requirements.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:56, Reply)

Does scoffing it on a train, washed down with payday cans not count as 'out'?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:57, Reply)

No, I wouldn't eat on a train. People keep having smelly food, it's minging.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:59, Reply)

Morning
We're a very small firm, so don't do any pointless, expensive team building/corporate bollocks.
The best I can hope for is a day out for a jolly with the boss, under the guise of attending some important industry meeting.

Alt: I hope someone is, as my diet depends on them.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:54, Reply)

We're a huge company, but also tighter than a nun's twat.
We get a grudging Christmas team meal at Pizza Express. No booze.

We do get a Christmas party, to be fair. At Windsor race course. Limited booze.

And an awards thing. Usually in a nice restaurant. Free wine and beer only, spirits have to be approved by a director. But we get a free night in a Travelodge to compensate. If you can prove you can't get home.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 8:59, Reply)

I have some crisps

( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Breakfast of champions

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Not for breakfast silly
Breakfast is coffee.
( Peej, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Fuck no.
All they ever arrange is fucking golf days, which I refuse to go to.

Alt: Depends what you mean by 'Growing veg' ;-) x
( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:08, Reply)

Golf is for cunts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:10, Reply)

The only time I liked golf was when I found some clubs in the cupboard of a flat I'd moved into.
Got almost £200 on ebay for them.
( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:11, Reply)

All team building is fucking shit
See my post the other day about fucking line dancing. Just go to the pub with anyone who you get on with, job done

Alt:
YER! Fucking loads
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:11, Reply)

That line dancing thing is spectacularly poorly thought through

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:13, Reply)

Because of all the rickets up there?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:14, Reply)

Because Jimmy Nail only released one Country album.

( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:18, Reply)

Like vitamins even go up to D

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

If they had left it at cowboy that would have been OK
Boots, jeans, checked shirt, hat - done
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:18, Reply)

Standard weekend attire for Sportscowboy

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:20, Reply)

I dont have a hat
Other than that, I'm done
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:21, Reply)

Some call me the gangster of love

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:21, Reply)

When's that?

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:21, Reply)

22nd July

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:23, Reply)

Looking forward to the tweets.

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Ha! I'll live tweet my way through all the free beer and wine!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:26, Reply)

And the line dancing.
Definitely the line dancing.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:50, Reply)

If I line dance there will be deaths

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:51, Reply)

LIVE TWEET THIS

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:51, Reply)

I'm looking forward to plenty of CRICKET CHAT here today.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:19, Reply)

Ugh

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:21, Reply)

100 minutes to go!!!!!!!!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:21, Reply)

So Solid Crew waited in vain for their Asda delivery

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:22, Reply)

I'm looking forward to your imminent drunken, piss-soaked, foamy-mouthed death.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:22, Reply)

^ upset

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:25, Reply)

It's always sad to see a little coffin being carried into church :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:27, Reply)

hahaha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:28, Reply)

My stupid gay dog is living up to your username today

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:29, Reply)

I suspect he'll be buried in a shallow grave.
Vertically.
( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:30, Reply)

haha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:30, Reply)

Ffs a cash point just gave me £50 in fivers

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:39, Reply)

Do a scrooge mcduck

( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:41, Reply)

How do you know if he has a vault and a private pilot?
Never mind three nephews and a brother with a speech impediment?
( Muns, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:44, Reply)

Mrs Cow got a £50 note yesterday
I've never had a £50 note
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:46, Reply)

I had two at the beginning of the year.
Felt like a Rothschild, I did.
( Kroney, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:49, Reply)

First time I'd got to see one up close for about 30 years
We used to get them occasionally in our shop
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 12 Jun 2014, 9:50, Reply)