OK HOLD ONTO YOUR HATS, PEOPLE. IT'S DRINKS MIX-UP TIME.
Went to a bar in Clapham to meet up with some friends. It's one of those shit cocktail bars you find everywhere, All Bar One, I think. A few drinks in and I decide I'd like some whisky.

Go up to the bar.
"Hi, I'd like a double Johnny Walker and a G&T, please"
"A G&T and a what?"
"Double Johnny Walker"
"We don't sell Johnny Walker"
"Er, I can see it. Right there."
"Oh"

So the barman and his hipster haircut wander off, get two tall glasses and fills them both up with ice, makes a G&T and goes to put my whisky in the other.

"Sorry, could I not have any ice?"
"Oh, of course"
*tips out the ice*
"Would you like a short glass?"
"That'd be nice, yes"

Then he spends five minutes trying to find it on the till.

Half an hour later, the missus goes back, gets the same bar guy. Again he says they don't sell it. She points to it. He tries to put it in a tall glass with ice again, she stops him.

His last question: "Would you like some lime?"
( Kroney, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:18, 3 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

COOL STORY BRO
/ac
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:20, Reply)

I KNOW RIGHT?
I bet everybody's staring agog at the monitor saying stuff like "blow me down!" and "you couldn't make it up!"
( Kroney, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:22, Reply)

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:24, Reply)

^rendered speechless by extraordinarily visceral narrative

( Kroney, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:25, Reply)

See you tomorrow.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:25, Reply)

Should've got a Jura or a Laphroaig or Lagavulin or sutin.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:46, Reply)

It was the best they had.
And Jura is filthy.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Aug 2014, 12:50, Reply)