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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So it seems the US is as good at torturing prisoners as anyone
Is there anyone on /OT you'd like to torture, and if so what information would you be looking to get out of them?
alt: LUNCH
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:10, 97 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
I'd torture you for being a stomping tool
This has, however, answered my alt alt. I'd make you listen to tangles' new "sounds of (Coventry) nature" record. I don't really want any info out of you. I just want to torture you.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:12, Reply)
That's way beyond anything in the report, even waterboarding
You MONSTER!
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:15, Reply)
tangles could be instrumental in the call for world peace
even jihad john couldn't withstand the siren notes of nature in coventry
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:21, Reply)
the worst kind of drone attack

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:28, Reply)
What do you suppose it sounds like?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:36, Reply)
an orange teenager giving birth whilst shooting up

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:38, Reply)
I see.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)
how accurate am i?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)
Well none of the field recordings were made in Coventry and I've never witnessed an orange teenager giving birth whilst shooting up

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:50, Reply)
you've barley lived

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:55, Reply)
You've done that one.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)
nah, I just can't spell

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)
They aren't really that good at torture.
No electrocution, strapaddo, teeth removal, rape or toecutting.

Alt: bit early you fat cunt.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:17, Reply)
or bagpipes...

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:19, Reply)
the sweet skirl o' the pipes

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:20, Reply)
what the blistering fuck is "toe cutting" ?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:21, Reply)
It's probably something so grotesque and horrible
that women probably pay extortionate prices to have it done to them in a salon in the name of 'beauty'.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:24, Reply)
dozer'd probably pay to watch

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:33, Reply)
especially if it was Siam Williams having it done

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:34, Reply)
i have no idea what she looks like
but he bangs on about her a LOT
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:39, Reply)
Cor!

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:40, Reply)
srsly?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:46, Reply)
Something to do with her feet or summat, I dunno I don't wank to the news.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:50, Reply)
Unless it's a May day riot or a woman in sandals justifying the latest bollocks from PETA.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)
That's so hot

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:09, Reply)
she's a total milf

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)
I think she's reached GILF age, to be fair.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)
GILF age is mid thirties where I grew up

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)
wut, mid 40s?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)
56 I think you'll find.
Although I do concede that she does look like a Glaswegian woman would in her late teens.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:04, Reply)
Wiki says 50.
She's on the over 50s list.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:14, Reply)
Born 1958.
Take lube, she'll have probably dried up by now.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:22, Reply)
that's Sian Lloyd, you prick

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:24, Reply)
I just assumed you had taste. Lloyd is alright.
Williams? You're a fucking sicko.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Lloyd is fucking grim.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:30, Reply)
toecutting is the removal of toes with boltcutters

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)
I could imagine women doing that to fit into a pair of shoes.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)
I don't think I'd torture anyone here.
Although I think most political leaders deserve to have a lit sparkler jamming into their japs eyes / pissholes.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:19, Reply)
alt: street market food fair today, yay
from my window i can see: thai noodles or curry, burmese curry, chorizo sandwiches, pulled pork shizzle, paella, falafel wraps, fish'n'chips, bangers'n'mash, chinese, sushi rolls, fudge.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:48, Reply)
Can't you buy most of these things within a mile of your office even when there isn't a food fair anyway?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:51, Reply)
It's an exercise in paying more for the same tat. It's what she does.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)
they're prolly ARTISAN bangers with FREE RANGE ORGANIC mash

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)
it's best to pay more when faced with such inarguable labels

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)
my current favourite is BESPOKE
used on stuff that's obviously fucking bespoke by its very fucking nature
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:02, Reply)
yah ... but this is a MARKET, yah? ... so it's like less sanitary and more authentic and shit?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)
I went to the south bank christmas market on saturday. It was exactly this
My child somehow convinced me to part with 8 quid for us to go on a train that went 100m along and then back again, but wasn't the least bit excited with the hour long train journey we took to get there and back.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)
kids are idiots

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)
jamaican jerk chicken or gtfo

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:56, Reply)
I'd never go for jerk chicken when there's curry goat available
this is one of my basic tests of a human being
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:58, Reply)
Depends, sometimes if you get there too late the curried goat is just bone. Also, it doesnt pack the kick I seek.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)
that's what the filthy filthy bottles of pepper sauce are for

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)
I don't like agreeing with you, but you make a fair point.
Might cook that this weekend. Finding goat might be an adventure though.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)
it's very inconsiderate of me to be simultaneously objectionable and always right

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:02, Reply)
Jerk off mate just jerk off

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:57, Reply)
torture by infinite wanking

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)
until theres nothing left down there but tattered gristle

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:00, Reply)
a pink mist

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:01, Reply)
ha

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:12, Reply)
none of you know shit so what would I want to ask you?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 10:59, Reply)
I could tell you all about the problem with my eyes

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:07, Reply)
I'll put on my most sympathetic face.

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:27, Reply)
I'd not torture any of you, because we are all such great Internet chums.
We'd have tea and cake and glimpsing and snugglewuggles and tea made the proper way and scones or scones, whichever you prefer and it'd be lovely.

Alt: despair.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:06, Reply)
That sounds like torture to me

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:10, Reply)
I would torture Shambles to find out how he manages to be simultaneously objectionable and always right despite being a bumbag wearing middleaged cycling veg growing hipster ale swigging nancy

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:11, Reply)
this is the best offer I've had all morning

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:33, Reply)
I tell a lie
The probably-polish woman offered me some stollen with my tea.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:34, Reply)
I aim to please

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:38, Reply)
Aim for the face then, he likes that

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)
can you aim for my beard and moobs? oh yeah! you dirty boy

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:39, Reply)
Sexy as fuck

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:42, Reply)
i wouldn't torture anyone as that isn't very nice, but i'd like to nominate richard macbeef to have to wear 'scold's bridle' for gossiping despite being sworn to secrecy

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:20, Reply)
I don't think there's anything you lot know that I'd want to find out that badly
Unless any of you know who let the dogs out? Some guys from the 90s/00s/whenever keep asking. If McBeouf knows I'll give him a cuntsproutectomy until he tells me.

Alt: Leftover curry that'll stink the place out when I reheat it. \o/
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:29, Reply)
Colonel & Tibbs.
They didn't want Cruella's plan to succeed.
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:42, Reply)
Oh, did they get promoted after 'Love Will Keep Us Together' ?

(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:45, Reply)
Nobody
alt. soup
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:31, Reply)
All of you, slow roasted over a volcano just for shits and giggles
Alt: Anger and resentment
(, Wed 10 Dec 2014, 11:58, Reply)

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