I've have several non self inflicted injuries which were horrific
But the worst self inflicted I guess would be either when I was washing up after an argument, washed a pint glass with too much pressure and it broke, as I twisted my hand round I sliced a piece off the side of my right hand. I found it in the sink when I got back from the hospital. Or it would be when I was pissing about on my wedding day, slipped on the wife's wedding dress and dislocated my knee. I've dislocated it loads of times and it usually pops right back but this time it stayed out. My wish to go on my honey moon caused me to shun the advice of others and not seek medical treatment. I had my best man pop it back in. I screamed like a child throwing a major tantrum and my knee swelled up to the size of a watermelon. I went on my honeymoon with a pair of borrow crutches and when I got back went to the hospital. Their response was "Well you should have come in two weeks ago shouldn't you!" and sent me home.
( Peej, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 11:56, 3 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

Excellent knee work

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:02, Reply)

*knee dislocation 5s*
I first did mine in a rugby scrum that collapsed on me with someone else leg behind my knee which levered it off. Being stupid and young I ignored the good advice to make sure it healed properly and now it can just pop out which my good lady wife has learned how to grab my heel and twist/ pull just so.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:03, Reply)

I bet that wasn't the only swollen joint on your wedding day haha yeah

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:10, Reply)

Y'see it's precisely this sort of well-crafted banter that means this place is dead on its arse without you

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:25, Reply)

I knew you'd miss me most of all

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:29, Reply)

No one to stick up for me when swipe starts the inevitable bullying :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:35, Reply)

she is a proper horrid bully.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:38, Reply)

I wish you'd fuck off again.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:35, Reply)

No you don't.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 21 Apr 2015, 12:36, Reply)