Fuck the election bullshit
Its Friday!! No bosses in today and a nice sunny day. The pub beer garden is calling me

What are you up to this weekend? There's a food festival on at Tynemouth Priory so I'll pop along there I think. I might also pop up to Belsay Hall for a wander round
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:13, 98 replies, latest was 10 years ago)

my nuts+ym's guts.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:24, Reply)

I'm going to visit some vulnerable people and wave my cheque book at them through their cracked and mucky workhouse windows

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:24, Reply)

yeah ... "cheque book" ... gramps

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:24, Reply)

You could wave your contactless payment card at them,
redistribute the country's wealth, £20 at a time.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:26, Reply)

good thinking ... we can stick NFC tags on poor people

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:28, Reply)

Stitch them into an identifying mark.
Something cheery, like a gold star, that they'd all be proud to wear.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:35, Reply)

What's a cheque book, grandad?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:25, Reply)

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:26, Reply)

too slow, motherfucker
I'm the fastest hobbler on the ward
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:26, Reply)

Getting on a bit myself now.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:29, Reply)

might retire to Frogland
except I'm shit at pétanque
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:31, Reply)

The lovely Marine will keep the likes of you out.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:33, Reply)

bit late for that ... I already own a slice

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:36, Reply)

Yeah, the Jews owned a fair slice of Berlin in the 1930s

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:51, Reply)

Alright Stunned?

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:26, Reply)

bit of a cold, dave

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:27, Reply)

Think I might get smashed tonight.
We'll take the rest of the weekend from there.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:24, Reply)

My Apple certification course got its budget confirmed today
So I'll be in London from the 2nd-8th August. Thats London, not Dorset but London.
( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:25, Reply)

Oh wow thats great news Peej! Well done! How about a pint one evening?

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:23, Reply)

Sure that would be nice,

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:24, Reply)

Dorset

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:24, Reply)

my only friend is coming to visit tomorrow so we're getting smashed and eating spare and baby back ribs, a jacob's ladder beef rib, 'burnt ends', pulled pork, chicken thighs and smoked sausages cooked bbq style

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:26, Reply)

Good luck shitting all that out on Sunday.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:28, Reply)

I don't need luck pal

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:33, Reply)

I'm not coming tomorrow!

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:32, Reply)

FFS WE ARRANGED THIS WEEKS AGO

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:33, Reply)

2nd-8th August gorgeous!

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:37, Reply)

But that's aaaaages :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:48, Reply)

Yeh well I have to save up because I am so poor because of Cornwall and Austerity

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:50, Reply)

i look down on you because you had to do work on your property yourself instead of paying someone

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:51, Reply)

I am scum, no doubt about it

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:11, Reply)

No drink for me until a week Saturday - antibiotics suck!
This weekend will be a fun-packed round of dental surgery and post-op painkillers. I'm so looking forward to it, I can hardly wait.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:31, Reply)

Farage lost

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:35, Reply)

THE PURPLE REVULSION

(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:36, Reply)

Not yet he hasn't.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:37, Reply)

Ummm yes he has

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:39, Reply)

Oh, OK, he has.
Every cloud...
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:39, Reply)

Farage lost!
hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
( Muns, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:36, Reply)

I bet the BBC couldn't wait to use this graphic!

( Muns, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:39, Reply)

you shouldn't judge people solely on their physical appearance
but he really is a toad
(lol man river definite greek god, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:43, Reply)

At least he can eat a bacon sandwich
with a pint of British beer in a British pub.
( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:45, Reply)

My mate Andy looks like him

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:19, Reply)

Wait for the moaning that they got 4m votes and only 1 seat
Whilst labour got 9m but 228 seats...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:46, Reply)

I think they have a point there though.
But thats because I want Proportional representation
( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:51, Reply)

No chance of that, though.
Could have had it, if the LibDems had stuck to their principles (ha ha), but they bottled it and offered up AV, instead.
Let's all just take solace the fact that our broken system has kept UKIP and the Greens out.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:29, Reply)

yeah but 4% of the vote = 56 seats in scotch land

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 8 May 2015, 13:06, Reply)

I've had a heavy couple of weeks so might have a quietish one.
Might get round to post-processing my holiday photos. Might just sit on the sofa with my hands down my pyjama bottoms.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:41, Reply)

I don't think I've had a shit in two days. This is most unusual.

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:56, Reply)

Bowel cancer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:56, Reply)

The cancer of champions

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)

I wish the election bullshit was over
but living in Scotland it looks like I'll have to put up with quite a lot of SNP-smuggery for a while yet. Cunts.

This weekend...tonight, going to a mate's pub quiz. Saturday - watching a charity football match, allotment and 10-pin bowling night with the cricket team. Sunday - no cricket fixture this week, so down the allotment working like feck.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 8 May 2015, 10:57, Reply)

I have no sympathy.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:01, Reply)

OK, I'm a bit disappointed about not having a cricket fixture, but there's no need to be nasty about it

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 8 May 2015, 11:07, Reply)

^^^poor boy

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:08, Reply)

May's already rubbing her hands at giving the security forces 'more power' 'for your safety' b2b scrapping the Human Rights Act.
Anyone who voted just to pay a little less tax should be ashamed of themselves.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)

What really hacks me off in Scotland
is our beloved Holyrood has insisted on freezing council tax for years. As a result councils have slashed services to almost fuck all. Every school meeting I go to I hear the head teacher talking about budget cuts.

I'd gladly pay inflationary rises in council tax so that we had some decent local services.

Of course the SNP just blaims everything on Westminster, but this is entirely their own choice.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 8 May 2015, 11:10, Reply)

Successive governments of all flavours
have consistently spent more than they get in tax. Then attempted to balance the books by selling stuff, gold, nationalised industries, etc to other countries. Meanwhile the pension bill grows ever higher as people live longer but the pension age has hardly gone up in 40 years. Question is, what will they do when there's nothing left to cut or sell?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:17, Reply)

We need a cull. It's the only way.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 8 May 2015, 11:22, Reply)

Soylent Green?

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:27, Reply)

Well, the usual way is to start by invading Poland

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:29, Reply)

It is noticable.
However I'm quite happy that Labour have got a shoeing as well because all of the Scottish Labour MP's have just kept their head down safe in the knowledge they've had a safe seat. They've all voted bullshit to things you'd think they'd oppose but instead just done as they've been told. Fuck 'em.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:26, Reply)

I might have a breakdown online

( $$ ✅, Fri 8 May 2015, 10:58, Reply)

Good, we haven't had one on here for a while.

(McChinaman banned, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:09, Reply)

I forgot to mention my "team building" exercise yesterday
I had to paint a picture. Really.

Our department won Best Team though and we get a free night out
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:20, Reply)

what did you paint a picture of?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 May 2015, 11:22, Reply)

'dad picking up the milk bottle in the morning'

( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:27, Reply)

Some seagulls and some sky
Some grass and flowers. Each table had to paint two panels and at the end they all got joined together
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:28, Reply)

got a photo of your bit?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 8 May 2015, 11:29, Reply)

I don't really want to see that, thanks.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:32, Reply)

I haven't, no

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:37, Reply)

MWAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAH!
stoopid povvos
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:22, Reply)

Should have known this news would flush you out like
Well, like a wild goose
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:29, Reply)

HONK!
ok bye!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:32, Reply)

Bye bye Farage

( Peej, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:25, Reply)

I bet the BBC couldn't wait to use this graphic!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 8 May 2015, 11:31, Reply)