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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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New Discoveries
What have you recently found that has improved your life? Be it a restaurant, pub, food, exercise, TV show, music?

Alt:
Perfect Bank Holiday?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:30, 258 replies, latest was 10 years ago)
Woah, woah
This sounds almost like some sort of 'question of the week' kind of idea.
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 12 May 2015, 10:32, Reply)
Just thought I'd actually ask a question

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:40, Reply)
^ into the stocks with 'im

(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 12 May 2015, 10:41, Reply)
Value may go up as well as down

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:48, Reply)
^ compliance chat

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:52, Reply)
electrified bollock clamps
I'll never go limp again
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:38, Reply)
tggi^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:40, Reply)
seen at infest, etc

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:44, Reply)
What do you get when you fall in love?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:49, Reply)
a girl with a clamp to fry your bubbles

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:51, Reply)
She nipped up one and got the double
Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'll never fuck a glove again
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:05, Reply)
Alt: The perfect bank holiday would include discovering a new restaurant, pub, food and music.
Not exercise or TV programmes though, as they are shit and for cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:55, Reply)
I heard you spend every weekend doing aerobics to a DVD of that fat chick off the telly

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:00, Reply)
I'm getting beach body ready

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)


(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:04, Reply)
RADIATION!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:04, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:05, Reply)
Unfortunately the rest of her is measurable.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:33, Reply)
*If you have a big enough tape measure

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 May 2015, 11:45, Reply)
just because yours stops short of six inches

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:48, Reply)
What does that even mean?
Have I touched a nerve here Rach? Are you fatter than the bird in the pic? Is that it?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
i can't say it's improved my life
but i was slicing strawberries for a smoothie this morning, and they smelled exactly like summer.

alt: 3 day weekend away with friends, lots of booze, bbq, exploring somewhere new, sunshine. my friend had her hen do on a bank holiday like that and i went for a walk in the garden of the barn and came face to face with a barn owl. he was so dopey after just waking up that he just sat and looked at me from a foot away for about 15 minutes before he opened his beak disdainfully and soared away. i fucking love barn owls, best of all teh owls.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:55, Reply)
I saw my first topless chav of the season yesterday, so it is almost upon us.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 10:57, Reply)
badly spelled nationalist tattoos?
they're the sexiest kind
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:03, Reply)
We have two resident smack addicts who disappear round the back of the electricity substation next to work each day
We call them Kevin and Perry
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:04, Reply)
Tatts out, staffs off leads, can of red stripe.
Standard.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:04, Reply)
sun's out - guns out

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:12, Reply)
Angry +

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:25, Reply)
Have you seem Jaysum's Twitter pic?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 May 2015, 11:46, Reply)
nope, i don't do twitter

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:48, Reply)
You're fortunate.
The risk of his tattie head appearing on my feed is what keeps my Twittering to a minimum.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 May 2015, 12:07, Reply)
Sexy as fuck.

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:24, Reply)
there's a pub in cowley called " the Big Society"
I avoided it based on its name, as it sounded like a shit place for cunts. it's actually rather good, every weekend they've got a good dj, decent selection of beer, nice big garden and the food is simple but delicious. Sometimes, first impressions are wrong.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:00, Reply)
Or maybe you are a cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:01, Reply)
see below.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)
it's also possible that it is shit, and for cunts,
And I like it because I am shit, and a cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)
A slow cunt at that

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:02, Reply)
3 days until I begin recording the greatest demo ever released.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:17, Reply)
How exciting!
Have you got a bandcamp page set up to sell it?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:18, Reply)
Only this one time....

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:21, Reply)
I will. you mark my words.
Although, we will need to sort out artwork and stuff.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:52, Reply)
That's private, soz

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:03, Reply)
Sorry, too intrusive?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:05, Reply)
to be honest i was struggling to think of anything.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:06, Reply)
ok, recent stuff i like
• my iphone
• sons of anarchy
• estrella lager
• steak for breakfast
• planning holidays
• making lists
• mangal kebabs
• making cakes
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:09, Reply)
What's a Mangal Kebab?
Poor Bouncer :(
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:11, Reply)
turkish barbecue, friend
i go to this one www.bestmangal.com/
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:12, Reply)
How can it be the best mangal when there are three of them?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:18, Reply)
it isn't called 'the best mangal'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:19, Reply)
think of a farmyard
then shove the whole lot onto skewers above a flaming pit

and serve with chips
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:13, Reply)
SOLD!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:15, Reply)
FUCKING N.O.M.!

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:21, Reply)
cow shit, four wheelie bins, and a 1980s land rover?
Yummilicious!
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:23, Reply)
or you can have crunchy falafel and salad with garlic and chilli sauce in a fresh, hot wrap

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:24, Reply)
leaves is what my food eats, soz
you can tell leaves are tasteless by the amount of sauces and "dressings" that they have to drown them in to make them remotely edible.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:29, Reply)
is that why you never see a steak served with a sauce or mustard?
or burgers with cheese and pickles and ketchup?
or lamb with mint sauce?
or beef with horseradish sauce?
or pork with apple sauce?
or the vilest abomination of all, bacon, with ketchup and brown sauce?

WELL? IS IT??
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:33, Reply)
I assume you mean "without"
All of those are tasty without the sauces, they just add a little extra choice for those that want it.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:35, Reply)
i meant with, because i was being sarcastic
tasty my arse.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:37, Reply)
Is your arse tasty?
POIDH
(I helped save b3ta! .Yeti., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:43, Reply)
I don't think she has a mortgage.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:43, Reply)
it's spent a fair few LOLB4SHES being groped
by the girls only, i must add
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:45, Reply)
Must be the lack of iron making you grumpy

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:43, Reply)

iron neurological activity
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:45, Reply)
shush it paeds

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:47, Reply)
nah, i have perfect iron levels
even as a student surviving mainly on toast and cheesy pasta. anaemia is for wimps. tired, pasty wimps.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:47, Reply)
Captain Placid likes plain, that's his choice.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:37, Reply)
it's not a valid argument, more people eat meat therefore it is better to eat meat. also yaafi.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:36, Reply)
We have evolved to eat meat.
Therefore those that don't are backward and inferior.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:41, Reply)
Or worse, just plain fussy.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:42, Reply)
there is nothing fussy about scraping all the nasty dark grey bits from a piece of salmon

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:47, Reply)
You could just have a wash now and then...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)
i prefer a scalpel

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
nyom!

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
think I'll stick with the silage and rusty can of diesel

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:43, Reply)
good choice sir
i will also provide some razor blades and battery acid as a side dish. on the house.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:44, Reply)
sounds immensely preferable to a plastic bucket of rabbit food

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
we'd all be quite happy for you to eat it
and film the results
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
alt: Sitting in the sun with mates/family drinking beer
and on no account attempting to drive anywhere, only fools try that on Bank Holiday.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:09, Reply)
^this^
Simple and effective
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:12, Reply)
Ok, the results are finally in.
I know some of you must have opinions on this:
metro.co.uk/2015/05/11/breaking-the-nations-favourite-biscuit-has-been-revealed-5191451/
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:51, Reply)
YESSSSS!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:51, Reply)
I agree with the result of this vote.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:52, Reply)
*high fives*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:53, Reply)
I'm currently hiding in a plant room as I've been told to stay out of the way,
Might go down and get a packet of biscuits
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:56, Reply)
and now you know which biscuits to get!

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:00, Reply)
totes getting choc digestives.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
Milk or dark?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
maybe both.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Fatty.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:10, Reply)
how can jaffa cakes not be at the top?
this vote was rigged.

imma organise a protest march immediately to complain because i don't like the results.

the correct order:

1.Jaffa Cake
2.White choc chip cookie
3. Chocolate fingers
4. Oreos
5. Custard cream
6. Chocolate Hobnob
7. Chocolate digestive
8. Chocolate bourbon
9. Jammie dodgers
10. Chocolate chip cookie
11 .Shortbread
12. Fox's creams
13.Viennese creams
14. Ginger nut
15. Rich Tea
16. Plain Hobnobs
17. Nice
18. Malted Milk
19. Digestive
20.Dark chocolate digestive

although shortbread is controversial. there is great shortbread and really shit shortbread.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:54, Reply)
I don't want to rock the boat too hard, but a jaffa cake is a cake.
It's in the name.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 11:55, Reply)
I also wondered what it was doing on the list.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:56, Reply)
it's a stupid list.
The metro is a stupid paper.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
I bet that's not even in the 'paper', probably just digital content, load of shite

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
we should use our Internet hacker skills to "doxx" their "servers"

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
yeah and we could DDOS them because i heard that term once on telly

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
And proven in a court of law, too

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:58, Reply)
the law is an ass though
especially fucking tax
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)
Yeah. Jaffa cake isn't a biscuit you fucking tard.

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:58, Reply)
serve it on a plate with a knife or spoon, do you?
stick a candle in it and give someone a birthday jaffa cake, do you? find it on the bakery aisle in the supermarket, do you?

lying twat.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)
calm down. you're wrong, and that's OK.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
i bet he lures kids into his white van with them
the noncing biscuitwrong
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
whatever bagg does with jaffa cakes is his business.
It still doesn't make them biscuits though.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:31, Reply)
i bet he shoves them up his japs eye
and then tries to nibble them out
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
oreos at 4?
You fucking idiot.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
oreos are 'fucking shit'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
I knew I liked you.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Americans are easily the worst country on earth for biscuits and chocolate

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
I thought you had been to China?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:10, Reply)
Pickled chicken feet > Hersheys.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:12, Reply)
I don't think I've ever eaten chocolate biscuits there
They definitely win the "worst sandwiches" award.
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:13, Reply)
oreos are lovely
especially the ones dipped in chocolate.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
The 'correct' order looks like it was determined by fatcuntfoodwrongs.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
Or a blobbing bird.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:03, Reply)
it isn't a list of the top twenty blobbing bird comfort foods

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
Needs MOAR McVitie's Gold.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 May 2015, 12:13, Reply)
My favourite biscuit is an air biscuit.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:57, Reply)
i know

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 11:59, Reply)
The best biscuit is the hobnob (chocolate optional)
Another fine example of why democracy doesn't work.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
no
no no no.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:01, Reply)
WRONG.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
Hobnob at the #1 spot? you fucking helmet, you're a joke m8, a fucking disgrace.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:02, Reply)
shut up, granny joyvoid

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
The survey was about taste, not which is best for luring kids

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:18, Reply)
Ginger nuts dipped in orange juice ftw.

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:04, Reply)
I like ginger nuts
*winks at Windy*
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
you were doing so well up until "orange juice"
it's clearly hot vimto
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:05, Reply)
Not tried that. Off to tescos....

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
These are great
www.borderbiscuits.co.uk/our-biscuits/dark-chocolate-ginger/
(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:18, Reply)
The y look a bit SNP to me. No thanks.
Plus, Nigerian Ginger or Ninger.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:23, Reply)
Anyway where are the Club biscuits on that fucking list?

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:06, Reply)
Just below Trio's

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:07, Reply)
I farking loved trios

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:07, Reply)
no viscounts either

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
OR YOYOS

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:12, Reply)
Rocky Robin ftw.
There chock a block, man.

www.tvwhirl.co.uk/tvwhirl.php?file=tesadverts/rocky1995.mp4&yturl=&ytext=0
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
oh man ... do they still exist?
I'll race you to Tesco
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
Discontinued about 12 years ago. :-(

(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:11, Reply)
motherfucker

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:11, Reply)
5-4-3-2-1's were better, but also discontinued.
That's what Milliband should've promised. Reintroduction of 80's chocolate biscuits! Guaranteed vote winner!
(I helped save b3ta! Muns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:12, Reply)
the 1980s?

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:07, Reply)
er, because that's a chocolate bar
you irredeemable cretin
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:08, Reply)
Mars and marathon are chocolate bars
What sort of grim fucking childhood did you have where Club BISCUITS counted as a chocolate bar?
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:09, Reply)
My grandad worked at Mars for decades, and he used to get a weekly ration as a pensioner which was loaded onto us.
Marathons and Mars bars was all I used to eat as a kid. I can thank mars for my diabetes and morbid obesity.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
Awww man, we had a fridge constantly stocked with fucking Ski yoghurts thanks to my stupid Grandad. I'm glad he's dead.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:16, Reply)
I've not had a yoghurt in years.

(I helped save b3ta! Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:19, Reply)
my friend's husband is an engineer in the pet food bit of mars
he still gets a small % of his salary in chocolate.

he's a total healthnut, but too cheap to chuck it away. their house is crammed full of chocolate.

i like to buy my friend hotel chocolat stuff to annoy him when i go up there.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
you stupid fucking cunt, stop being so unbearable thick every fucking day of your miserable life
Jacob’s Club, or just Club, is a popular biscuit originating in Ireland, but now widespread in popularity and sales throughout Britain and Ireland

WIKIPEDIA SAYS, M8, FUCK YOU
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:10, Reply)
You sir, are a fucking idiot.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 May 2015, 12:12, Reply)
this place needs an Idiot Of The Day slot on the front page

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
Why are Jaffa cakes on that list??

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:18, Reply)
WORST BISCUIT THREAD

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
Blue Riband

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
END OF THREAD

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:14, Reply)
Nice biscuits
And those claggy undercooked abominations they sell in American cwaffee shops
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:15, Reply)
They're cookies
Maybe look up what the word biscuit means, yeah?
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
they're transatlantic synonyms
sorry if you find this confusing

cracker
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)
Rich tea.
I really don't get it.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:21, Reply)
the Italians make a biscuit like a rich tea only because they're not catastrophic cuisine fails they've made them so that they actually taste nice

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
They make one called Grissini that are great with a nice cup of British tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
grissini are bread sticks
what sort of awful northern monkey dips bread in tea?
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
no one said dipping.

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)
dipping is implicit in the concept of a biscuit
it comes from the old french bes cuit meaning "best dipped in tea"
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
i rest my case

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)
you have to make one first

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
i don't need to
a toothless old moron did it for me
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
dunking is disgusting
mushy soggy biscuit/bread and crumby drink/soup?

what kind of a toothless old moron wants that?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)
You're leaving it in for too long.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)
urgh
it makes me cringe when people do it
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
you're turning into emvee

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
i get that you need help to chew your food
but a young man like windy pig has no excuse
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:43, Reply)
I've not needed any dental treatment since the early 1990s
my teeth may actually be indestructible
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:44, Reply)
well then there is no excuse for dunking
get yourself a nice rock hard ginger biscuit and go to town.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:48, Reply)
I'll eat my biscuits how I like
you're not my real mum
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)
Yer. I mean Cantuccini.
Although the Italians eat them with dessert wine.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:30, Reply)
I thought I'd buy some online so I look and
Cantuccini are what we call Biscotti.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:33, Reply)
It means 'twice baked' doesn't it? I suspect they'd be nicer baked once.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:35, Reply)
That's why thay are Nom dipped in tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:36, Reply)
Tea is shit though.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:37, Reply)
oh now ... there's no need for that

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:38, Reply)
Shut your whore mouth.
Tea is the ballon du chien.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:39, Reply)
It's boring. It's a boring tasteless beverage for builders and northerners and people who lack imagination.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:41, Reply)
^ born in cheshire ^

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:42, Reply)
After that I moved to Worthing

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:43, Reply)
tea IS shit
but coffee is even worse. stinky tooth staining shit.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)
See, there you go again, drinkwrong added to foodwrong.
A good cup of tea or coffee is a thing of wonder. However a poor one is adjacent to warm piss, a good example being any that came from a vending machine.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:58, Reply)
I got my company to start buying Yorkshire Gold teabags and about 20% of people switched from coffee to tea.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:05, Reply)
Once I plucked a number out of thin air and presented it as a percentage to look right about something on the internet too, it works about 107% of the time.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:08, Reply)
My figure was based on teabag and coffee purchasing.
You are quite right, the people drinking coffee could, in theory, have reduced their consumption by 20% and those that were drinking tea anyway may have upped their tea consumption.

Seems unlikely though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:19, Reply)
So you're the one responsible for making sure the staff room is well stocked with teabags then?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:20, Reply)
He's the teabagging king

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:22, Reply)
I fucking rule.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:33, Reply)
I don't believe you have those figures

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:24, Reply)
Shirley, from reception, has those figures.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:34, Reply)
I just checked and that isn't the name of your receptionist.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:35, Reply)
they're nicer with icing on them
so, basically, iced gems but made bigger
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:25, Reply)
you people sicken me

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:22, Reply)
Fuck off then.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:24, Reply)
^

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
I've just discovered my girlfriend has bought yoghurt with fruit pieces
I don't know if I can go on. This is kind of a deal breaker. I like smooth yoghurt, but she likes hard fruit pieces in hers.
No one told me it would be this hard.
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:26, Reply)
We're here for you, man.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:27, Reply)
thx bae x

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
Alright Lighty

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
god
banana yoghurt with slimy pieces of banana in it, like giant surprise bogeys.

a childhood trauma.

thanks for that.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:28, Reply)
that's a deal breaker for sure,

(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)
something about fungal infections

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:29, Reply)
Can't you just pick them out with a pair of tweezers?

(Baggenfrock get fucked, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:31, Reply)
something about fungal infections

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:34, Reply)
How to double the post count - mention biscuits.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:40, Reply)
oh god you've done it again
we'll be here until Christmas
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:43, Reply)
Is a wafer a biscuit?
y/n
(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:49, Reply)
I'm slightly gay for pink wafers
but I'm going to say "n"
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:50, Reply)
Not my words, Frog, but the words of the Oxford Dictionaries (online):
A thin, light, crisp biscuit, especially one of a kind eaten with ice cream.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:53, Reply)
Phew, I was worried I was wrong about Blue Riiiiiiibbbbbband being the worst biscuit. Panic over!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:54, Reply)
It would be incredibly embarrassing to make a minor error online

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:57, Reply)
I'd leave the internet and never come back

(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:58, Reply)
No, far better to front it out and insist that no mistakes were made and you were right all along

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:03, Reply)
I am sure that I would have been allowed to forget it.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:59, Reply)
I'm saving the fact that you used an extra 'b' in Riband for if I need to make you look silly at some point in the future

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:01, Reply)
You don't know which one was the extra one though.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:04, Reply)
Damn you, you're too clever for me!

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:07, Reply)
Usually it's two biscuits

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:53, Reply)
I like biscuits.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:56, Reply)
we should start a thread about them
I bet people have all sorts of opinions
(lol man river definite greek god, Tue 12 May 2015, 12:57, Reply)
Really?
Wow, I thought biscuits were pretty much universal
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:01, Reply)
TURTLE POWER!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:01, Reply)
POTD!!!!!!!!!

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:00, Reply)
+ soggy

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:00, Reply)
wafers are disgusting too
if i want crumbs in my ice cream, i'll buy brown bread ice cream, thanks.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:00, Reply)
wrong again.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:01, Reply)
Surely it would make it stay on the fork better?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:03, Reply)
willy

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:05, Reply)
Good post, but it's no 'I like biscuits.'

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:14, Reply)
I'm not a fan of biscuits though
I couldn't lie on the internet and say I was. It's just immoral
(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:15, Reply)
I respect that.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:17, Reply)
you plebs wouldn't know fine food if it farted at you

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:16, Reply)
Fuck off then.

(I helped save b3ta! MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:17, Reply)
delete this please

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:18, Reply)
I'd prefer it to pee on me

(I helped save b3ta! $$ ✅, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:18, Reply)
I'll piss on you.
I quite like that sort of thing.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:20, Reply)
sian williams piss play y/n

(Good evening Good evening, Tue 12 May 2015, 13:27, Reply)

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