This is horrible...
Background: Over the summer, I bought a few tickets for gigs through Seetickets. When the tickets arrived, they came with vouchers for Virgin Wines. I signed up.

Part of the deal is that you become a member of the winebank. What this means is that, every month, they take £20 (or whatever) and you build up a credit.

In the three months since signing up, I had bought no wine from Virgin. I have bought wine from other people, though, so I decided to quit the Virgin scheme and get my money back to spend elsewhere. I got around to sorting that today - and have just received the following email:

Dear iain
What have we done wrong?
I offered to pay you WineInterest on the money you spend with us. And I promised to refund you for any wines you don't enjoy. But you've still decided to cancel your WineBank membership. Why?
If we have upset, or disappointed, you in any way, please accept my sincere apologies. We always try to make sure our customers are 100% happy with our wines and our service. But we're only human, and sometimes we mess up.
If we have done something wrong, please let me put it right. Drop me a line at [email protected] and I promise I'll sort it out.
In the meantime, your WineBank membership has been cancelled and £60.00 has been refunded on to your card. No further WineBank payments will be taken from you.


Just how patronising - and nauseating - is that?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:00, 14 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

...
It certainly smacks of desperation.

Although you know it's a copy & paste job and whoever pressed the send button didn't really give a flying fuck, it still feels awfully patronising.
( Moey, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:09, Reply)

...
It's the what've we done? sense of wronged entitlement that annoys me.

Fucking plebs. It's Waitrose all the way from now on.

(I actually managed to go to Waitrose the other day without getting thrown out for being a tramp. I'm clearly doing something wrong. I'll have to be barefoot next time.)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:24, Reply)

Hmmm
If you get imaginative and come up with a string of disappointment (orders that didn't arrive, rude service, friends in the media etc.) I'll bet they'll send you a free case.

If so, put a nice red aside for me will you?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:29, Reply)

*barfs*
That's just wrong. Don't they know how badly they're upsetting the delicate balance of the universe? They'll be telling you next that the customer is always right - and meaning it!

*shakes head in disgust*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Tue 14 Oct 2008, 13:40, Reply)

Clucking Bell..
They'll refund you for the wines you don't enjoy? I'll have some of that.


Order 3 cases a month, don't enjoy two of them (but still drink them), rinse and repeat.


You know it makes sense.

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:08, Reply)

just
buy your wine from Lidl like the rest of us.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:12, Reply)

It is of course
designed to make people less intelligent than us QOTW-ers (and especially Enzyme!) feel sorry for cancelling their membership.

For the record, I buy from Laithwaite's, and although they have subscription schemes too, I just buy some wine when I want it, and it's delivered in a couple of days with no fuss. They do a 'if you don't like it we'll refund you' thing too, although I've never come close to doing that. I am an honest chap though, and can see that scheme being open to abuse.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:25, Reply)

@ CHCB
Lidl?

You're posh!

I buy from Aldi.

Doesn't matter if it costs £2.50 or £25 - three glasses will still have me utterly rat-arsed.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 14:45, Reply)

Aldi?
I sneak into primary school parent-teacher nights.

And steal the wine.

And sometimes the children...
( Cawl, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:04, Reply)

LoveFilm
does the same.

Got some almost scarily pathetic calls from them as well as begging letters.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 15:34, Reply)

lovefilm
i had the same from lovefilm.com

after signing up for the free trial, i phoned them to cancel it. after the questions about why i wanted to cancel, they asked me if i would be interested in upgrading to a more expensive deal!

wtf??

if i'm cancelling, i'm hardly likely to upgrade am i!?
(secretsquirrel, Tue 14 Oct 2008, 16:57, Reply)

Sounds like a stock 'woe is me'
post break-up letter
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 15 Oct 2008, 4:28, Reply)