Is it just me
Or am I the only person at work today?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:09, 416 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Me too
*sniff*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:13, Reply)

Morning!
I skipped work sick today... I feel like a pile of crap wrapped in a snot blanket with coughy overtones.

But I'm happily house-sitting on sofa with duvet and cats and Sky+ so it's not all bad.

How're you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:14, Reply)

Morning yous all
I'm still at work. I finish tomorrow at lunchtime (unofficially, but we're always given a half day the last day before Christmas).
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:18, Reply)

Avoids the sickly b3tans
as I'm spending the day on reception...no ugly nurses uniform for me today, but no pet contact either :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:20, Reply)

Vets killed my daughter's cat on Thursday
right there in front of her.

I will have my vengeance becky, mark my words.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:21, Reply)

I'm hopefully gonna do a half day tomorrow
as I need the money... then off to do ALL my christmas shopping in the afternoon. That's gonna be fun.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:21, Reply)

@Becky
Since when have nurses' uniforms been ugly?

*rubs thighs*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:23, Reply)

I'm in today...
AND TOMORROW!

ARGH!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:33, Reply)

I'm sure they had a good reason Bert
My uniform is fugly K2k6. Blue and white piping is not flattering on anyone. However we should hopefully be moving back to scrubs sometime next year...Mmm...pjamas to work :)

Edit: I'm in tomorrow too
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:36, Reply)

Ningerloo, gorgeous b3tans
I am in bed with the cat but I do promise I'm about to get up and do fun things like wrap presents and venture onto the high street. Both these things will make me wish for my office :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:37, Reply)

I think
we'd need pictures to judge properly, Becky!

Oddly, I have absolutely no problem with working on Christmas eve. I'm off for a week and a half afterwards, which is good.

I usually work Easter Monday too, much to my boss's displeasure. Sod it, why should I take a holiday when I don't want one? I'd rather take them in summer.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:39, Reply)

Morning all
*coughs*

Somebody put a small fire in my throat over night and now I feel like poo. Still, 2 days to go and then some lovely time off =]
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:40, Reply)

Morning all
Last night I wrapped all my presents, fitted a bash ring to my MTB and ran six miles.

Today I shall mostly be working and drinking to celebrate being offered a new permanent position.

Happy 23rd December fellow b3tans!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:44, Reply)

Congrats on the job PJM
But what's a bash ring? And what's an MTB?

*ignorants*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:46, Reply)

Morning all the dears
I ended up not getting home from our christmas dinner until 1 last night. And we didn't have pudding until midnight. Not bad in my books. I also came up with this:

What do you use to wash your christmas tree?

Bauble bath!! Ahahahahaha.

I also then woke up at 6:45 this morning, much to my displeasure.

edits - congrats on the job PJM, and an MTB is a mountain bike K2.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:46, Reply)

Ain't gonna happen K2k6
I'd be the destroyer of worldsdreams

Nings Clenders, enjoy your bed, mine was far too cosy this morning.

Congrats PJM
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:48, Reply)

*sprays V with disinfectant*
*hugs him*

Hey PJM, that's great news. Yay!

Becky, bed is lovely but I'll get up as soon as flatmate has gone. Which is soon...
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Mr Nong...
I don't know why, but my right arm from my shoulder to my wrist really, really hurts. And no, it's not the world's worst case of wanker's cramp. Still, it could be worse, it could be dropping off.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:51, Reply)

I am also at
work. By work I mean getting news of 6000 envelopes that need stuffing, by tomorrow.

Woo.


*cries*
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:51, Reply)

Don't get me wrong...
I've wouldn't have an issue working Christmas Eve, if there was any point in me being here.

My work is based entirely in data manipulation at the moment, and the last delivery of anything goes out today!

So what's the point of me being here tomorrow? I think half the company should be off!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Thanks all!
It's good news, the people are great and I enjoy the job. Plus it's somewhere that'll look great on my CV.

K2k6 a bash ring is one of these:
www.chainreactioncycles.com/Images/Models/Full/878.jpg

It's to stop your chainring losing teeth on rocks/fallen branches/chihuahuas etc.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:59, Reply)

Not wankers cramp?
A likely story ,)

I'm still smiling over the fact that I got to be first up this morning and wake everyone else up. To be fair, they all came in at 2am as usual and stomped about waking me up, so I thought it was only fair to return the favour, so Primal scream at 6:30am might have been on my stereo.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 8:59, Reply)

Oh dear Jim
That sucks a bit. Not exactly the Christmas stuffing you had in mind, I'll warrant.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

@PJM
Is that what I will have round the outside of my front gear set on the outside? I presume it is.

I should really get up. Hmm. Not yet.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:00, Reply)

Arse
I've just realised that being ill will ruin Christmas eve drinking ='[
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:04, Reply)

Piston
you made me smile. That's the best Christmas gift I've been given....
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:06, Reply)

@Jim
Yikes... 6000 you say? Bastards.

*edits* nice one Piston Broke!

PoD - yep it replaces the large chainring (which most people never use anyway). £35 a pop replacements of chainrings stops being funny quite quickly.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Ah, OK PJM
*needs to learn cycling terminology*

I had thought it was some sort of underground b3ta society that has secret meetings...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Glad to be of service Jim

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:07, Reply)

Mornin'!
I'm in today. Hopefully, the heating'll still be on tomorrow, so I can come in then as well. Sadly, I can't come in on Christmas Day, 'cos every fucking thing is closed.

Christmas for atheists is very tiresome.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:09, Reply)

Hmm
I have 3 chain rings, and a guard on the outside of them. Maybe my bike's special. It also may hate me due to not having been used in months.

6000 envelopes? That sounds like quite the fun day...
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)

^this no ^^that
Although I'm not complaining about the time off...
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:10, Reply)

K2
I think the cycling lark is just a question of getting the right gear!
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:11, Reply)

We close down
for seven working days over Christmas and New Year here, but our other holidays can be taken whenever we like. Which pleases me.

Traditionally of course, Scotland regarded Christmas day as a normal working day. Apparently the Presbyterian church could find no biblical reason to celebrate the birth of their main protagonist.

Edit@Jim - *spangs*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:12, Reply)

Morning all...
Finally made it into work...still pissed though (gotta love Absinthe)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:12, Reply)

The irony of this has just cheered me up a little...
photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/photos-ak-snc1/v1488/178/98/286303073/n286303073_2475872_2495.jpg
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)

*late spang! for himjim*
Absinthe!

Must have been a helluva evening.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:14, Reply)

@AA
Is it just me or is the caption not very right grammatically?
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:15, Reply)

Hmm...
AA - that IS a little ironic huh?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:16, Reply)

Mr Nong all....
I'm at work til tomorrow as well. What is it with the amount of people that assume everyone in the entire world finished work last Friday?

Loads of people are off on their holidays here already though, I am going to eat mince pies and drink tea and go on extended cigarette breaks all day.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:17, Reply)

Right m'dears
I'm off into town for coffee again today. It's quite the hard life I'm living just now.

Laters all, have fun mornings.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:17, Reply)

And... it's all gone quiet
Enzyme, what have you done?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:22, Reply)

People
seem to start working about now.

I'm doing proper work stuff, and just checking back here every few minutes.

Once Kaol arrives it'll all kick off again, no doubt.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:24, Reply)

Fuck Beechams All-In-One!
I'm gonna make myself some space milk and ride this cold out with a smile on my face.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

I'm at work
stealing ur interwebz.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:25, Reply)

Ack...
There's me looking forward to a couple of hours kip at my desk...and someone calls looking for a F100 main wing jack - anyone got one handy?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:28, Reply)

Put the interweb back!
All my stuff from play arrived YAY but I have been reminded it's almost Christmas BOO.

Fucking Christmas *grinches*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:29, Reply)

@piston
Me?

*defensives*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:31, Reply)

When did you order it?
I want something from ebuyer, but not sure it'll arrive.

Hmmm.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:31, Reply)

What exactly is an F100 main wing jack?
I might have one in stock...

Morning Badger! I hate Christmas as well, the only good bit is seeing my mates and getting pissed with them really.

Edit: @ himjim, if you order items in stock by 10pm tonight and pay £4.99 for next day, Ebuyer will deliver by noon tomorrow, which ain't bad at all... Big banner on their homepage.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:31, Reply)

I'm in today but maybe not tomorrow.
Then not back till the 5th Jan. Woo!
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:33, Reply)

Nothing wrong with Christmas
If you're all organised and everything is wrapped and under the tree...

*ducks inevitable spanging from those less organised than myself*
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Sam
The Annual Christmas Eve Piss Up is always full of win!

All my friends are slowly gravitating back here so I am a lickle excited about that *mini glees*

PB it's nothing to do with being organised it's the fact it fucking starts in September and is the biggest pile of commercial wank in the whole fucking world. And you hear the same fuckin song on the fucking radio over and over every fuckign year

*simmers in the corner*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

Bollocks
it's all gone to hell in a handbasket here. *cries*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:34, Reply)

I've got absolutely wankered every night since Friday TGB
And have spent almost my entire pay cheque already. I'm beginning to feel distinctly unhealthy. But hey, it's Christmas!

Edit: the songs are the worst bit about Christmas I think. I've got Gogol Bordello on in the office though, Radio 1 has been banned!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:35, Reply)

I have radio 1
*angers more*

Can I ban all talk of Christmas today?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:38, Reply)

F100 = Fokker 100 aeroplaney thingy
Think of a car jack...but bigger.

Here's Some B767 main wing jacks:


/hungover
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:39, Reply)

@TGB
I'll come simmer with you. I must admit that, even though I hate them, I prefer British Christmases to the one I spent in Africa. (Relatively) Secular is way better.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:39, Reply)

Aaah, those sort of jacks snee
I thought you meant jacks as in electrical connectors. I think we sell those to go into F100s!

Edit: can you not use a pile of bricks instead?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

An F100 wing jack, eh?
*rummages in desk drawer*

No, sorry. Don't seem to have one. I do have a broken stapler though, if that's any good?

Edit@snee - would it be a logical assumption that you work in the aviation industry then? :)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:40, Reply)

Snee
Thats a big one you have.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:41, Reply)

I've lost interest in aircraft jacks...
'Cos I found half a bag of wine gums :)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:42, Reply)

Planet Rock...
How good is this? Hell's Bells up LOUD!
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:43, Reply)

@ work

Not really working...

Planning long lunch with snazzy new haircut for Christmas, any thoughts?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:44, Reply)

I have to get my haircut today...
I caved in and shaved yesterday.
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:45, Reply)

Shaved!?
Blasphemy!

V are you groping more women? Naughty! Have you heard from girl 1 yet?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:47, Reply)

I've not shaved
but there again, its because of lazyiness rather than intentional.

Mmm unintentional stubble.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:50, Reply)

I've had the same sticky up

style haircut for years and years and while this is all fine and dandy now it worries me becasue my dad has had the same side parting for 64 years.

It just gets slightly longer or shorter with fashion.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:50, Reply)

No I'm being a good boy
My sig is just a reference to Saturday =p

And no I've not heard from girl 1 yet. She happened to be on match at the same time as me last night and I've still not heard from her =/
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

Ah, commercialism
Which is why I avoid shopping for Christmas until the last minute. You're right, it is annoying, hence not listening to the radio and so forth. It seems I'm something of a hermit... a good suggestion for life I would have thought.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:53, Reply)

It's one thing...
Walking into your local pub and having the barperson say "The usual?", I've had the same hairstyle now for so long, my local hairdresser type says the same...mind you, the haircut place is just over the road from the pub.
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

It is also the reason
why I do most of my shopping in November, when the shops aren't so Christmas orientated.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

What when
you lunged towards my boobs?

Have you sent her any messages? Or are you trying to play it cool? :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:55, Reply)

Is a Christmas orientated shop
One that faces the North Pole?

:edit: I sent her a text the day after the date just to say I'd had a good time etc. a message on match on Friday and one Sunday evening to let her know how my date went (which she asked me to do).

I'm not going to send her any more messages now unless she contacts me.

:edit2: RE: boob lunging. You did say you were feeling left out of the boob feeling so, being kind and welcoming people, me and lusty made sure you felt lovely welcome.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:57, Reply)

I'm back and I'm clean.

( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:58, Reply)

Hello Clendrix
I can make you all dirty again if you like *waggles eyebrows*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Send her some of your blood
and hair.

Then you'll definately hear something back.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:00, Reply)

Is waggle a real word?
Morning Clendrix
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:02, Reply)

@Snee
I'm going with yes.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waggle_dance
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

*squeezes Badger*
Sounds good to me!
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Snee I am sad you doubt me
www.answers.com/waggle
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:03, Reply)

Hullo hullo!
Last day before the festivities begin!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Or rather don't, I've a long car journey tonight.

Are we all full of festive cheer and/or Sherry?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Yeah...
I googled it too - just hoping TGB missed that one...

EDIT: Damn.
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

I like to waggle my willy

to let my hive mates know where there is an abundance of pepperamis.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:04, Reply)

Is it just me .......
or is anyone else just hoping they can get through Christmas with their sanity intact.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:07, Reply)

*raises leg*
I think it may be too late...
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)

Nope, it's just you...
The rest of us lost our sanity years back.

(Well I did anyway)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:08, Reply)

*pushes V over*
har! har!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)

Sanity is overated at Christmas

Let the madness flow, embrace the blowing winds of teh crazy and dance like a new born foal on ice until it's all over.

Also drink lots.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:09, Reply)

not xmas exactly
my last day of teaching horrible little bastard kids the day before xmas eve, yes. it will be a nightmare!!!
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:10, Reply)

Ohhh
I can see a bit of willy waggling going on.
Good stuff.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Oh I think I'll be fine this Christmas
Although finding out I have a £480 fine to pay for an unpaid rail ticket has dampened my enthusiasm for the festive season somewhat. They can have £5 p/w and like it.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Sanity?
What's that?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:11, Reply)

Willy waggling, eh
*waggles willy for wanderlust*

*alliterates*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

*Waggles insane willy at Wanderlust*

I don't think the office liked that much...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

I know.
Stupid question considering the mental shennanigans of most B3tans.

I just want to get it over with as soon as possible and get to 2009.
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:13, Reply)

*enjoys willy waggling*
Perfect way to spend a Tuesday morning.

Oh and Hello everyone!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:19, Reply)

Morning lusty! *waggles willy*
You finished work then?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Hey lusty
*waggles beard*
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:20, Reply)

*has no beard to waggle*
*sads*

*waggles sideburns*

Edit: 100!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

*feels dizzy what with all the waggling*
Hello snee (sorry, missed you up there)

Hello Lusty.

Now, who wants to come round here and wrap all this shit I've bought?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

I had a torrid time of it last night

Popped into my local One Stop to get me a little drinkie for the evening.

Got home and made a beautifully balanced gin and Tonic, except it tasted fucking awful. I soldierd on for about half the glass before it was too much.

I thought it was the cheap own brand Gin, but no I'd bought a bottle of fucking soda water instead of tonic.

Don't do it kids, it was so bad I had to go back to the shop to get some tonic, unfortunately I forgot that I was wearing my slippers at the time and the shop keep kindly pointed this out in front of everyone by asking if I'd come from the local mental hospital where your not allowed shoes.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:21, Reply)

@Clenders
How much alcohol will you be offering in return for said wrapping?
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

I don't have
a willy to waggle at you Lusty but I can offer you some jiggling of boobs?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

I'm still at work.
It's so quiet I'm not really sure what to do with myself.

*strokes Captain V's beard*

*jiggles TGB's boobies*

*gets a little bit over excited with all the waggling and jiggling*

*leaves a wet patch*
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:22, Reply)

V
As much as I can cram into your lovely little body.

*gets funnel*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:23, Reply)

*dons gold bling*
*makes odd hand gestures*

*struts around arrogantly*

*speaks ridiculous 'street' language along to sparse drum and bass backing*

Oh, sorry clendrix. Wrapping? My mistake.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:25, Reply)

@Drixy
Anybody would think that you're making some sort of proposition *winks*
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:26, Reply)

YAY OT sillyness going on
Now if I didn't have a waiting room full of sick beasties...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:27, Reply)

K2k6
I now have an image of you being some kind of kilt wearing, sciency peacock.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:30, Reply)

Talking of beasties
www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/wildlife/3900575/Giant-woodlice-arrive-in-Britain-for-first-time.html

Seriously I'm never going in the sea again, ever.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:31, Reply)

Ooh I saw those in the metro this morning
there was a woman shuddering at them next to me, so I kept the page open a little longer :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:33, Reply)

K2k6
You is like sick, innit.

V, what a preposterous idea!
*shuffles off looking guilty*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:34, Reply)

Aww
I'd quite like one!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:35, Reply)

I've always wanted to glue cotton wool to woodlice

And keep them as tiny sheep!

I might also paint some snails black and white like cows.

*drinks snail milk*

*hurls*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:37, Reply)

Clendrix
Don't run away! Such behaviour is actively encouraged around these parts!
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:38, Reply)

Then I like these parts!
*grasps parts*
*enjoys self*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:39, Reply)

Heh...
"Each was individually wrapped in wet hessian and newspaper before being packed into a box of ice. "

So kiddies...y'all know what you're getting for shitmas now...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:39, Reply)

*saunters in*
ningles all.

are we feeling festive yet?

*holds up mistletoe*
*waits patiently*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:40, Reply)

@lusty
That isn't really an image I want to think too much about!

I like those big slaters* though.



*Scottish word for a woodlouse.

Edit - *Takes full advantage of HLT's mistletoe*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:41, Reply)

*snogs HLT*
Christmas just got a little more bearable ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

*runs up to tulip*
*kisses her loads*

*grins*
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:44, Reply)

I'm enjoying the idea of tiny cotton-wool woodlouse-sheep
you could get tiny, tiny lamb chops from them!

edit: oooh, loads of snogs, woo!

*shimmies under mistletoe*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:45, Reply)

*Stares at clock*
Can I go home now?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:47, Reply)

No Snee
You have to stay there for several more hours!

*dances around*
I really hate people. People keep phoning crying about how they haven't got their orders and IT'S A CHRISTMAS PRESENT DON'T YOU KNOW!!!

No shit you ordering stuff in December for Christmas who would have fucking thought it.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

@Lusty
What are HLT's 'loads' then? Is that a euphemism for some part of her anatomy?

*sniggers*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

I give everybody permission to go home

If anyone asks send them my way.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:52, Reply)

What Christmas presents are they ordering?
I bet it's dildos, nothing says Merry Christmas like a festive dildo.

Happy Christmas Nan!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:54, Reply)

K2k6
Ohhh you cheeky chappy you!
I meant I gave her lots of kisses all over her lovely, happy tulipy face.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:56, Reply)

*steals HLTs mistletoe*

*"Inserts" mistletoe*

*trots*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 10:59, Reply)

Elevenses!
What a fab idea! I haven't had elevenses for ages!

*switches kettle on*
*abandons wrapping*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Woo @ NakedApe
That'll do for me...

Well, once I've been into town and dropped the car off (no company vehicle for me over shitmas...more alcomohol)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

@lusty
you darling!

*smothers with snogs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:00, Reply)

Yes, of course you did Lusty
I'm just in a playful mood. Seeing as it's Christmas, and I'm not being all humbug-y like some folk.

Is the Muppet Christmas Carol on this year? I must watch it if it is.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

time's up1
I'm off, but will reappear to collect more snogs later. thank you.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:03, Reply)

@K2k6
I'm sure it will be. It is every year.

The best christmas film has to be Home Alone though.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

Ape surely inserting
it there must hurt?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:04, Reply)

*lubes*
*whinnies*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:05, Reply)

Whinnies?
Oh I do so love horses.

I wish someone had written a song about it...
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Oh, but they have, clendrix.
See here.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:15, Reply)

K2k6
Thank you! How lovely...

And V, thank you for the secret delivery :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:17, Reply)

Good morning all
Ah the day before Christmas Eve... a day for getting 2 weeks worth of ironing out of the way to make room and finish putting the decorations up...

It's a bit chaotic here in the sweary household!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:21, Reply)

Those sea lice are wicked!
But you wouldn't want to meet one down a dark alley, would you?

Cripes, today is dragging already and it's only 11.20!

EDIT: Ning, DG! Long time and all that!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:22, Reply)

'Lo D-i-T
Yeah, it's been a while... hows you my man?

Have just added a pic of me Dalek into me profile, like :D

Will probably be around sporadically today as I have stacks to do!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:24, Reply)

Really well thanks buddy...
just got a stack of work to do, so we're in the same boat!

That is a mighty fine Dalek, by the way... :)
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:28, Reply)

*Tumbleweeds*
Cheers Tightly. keeps the Jehovahs Witnesses away, you know.

Am off now, may pop in later.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Pissweasels!
I had intended to squander today blathering at you lovely folk, but some tool has just given me a million of work to do.

*sads*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:43, Reply)

Anything we can help with, Wookers?
Must be something you can share around...
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:44, Reply)

Urgh
I'm so bored.

*twiddles thumbs*

I have a feeling it's going to be a long day!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:48, Reply)

Seeing as it's all bloody spreadsheets,
I may do them up in headache-inducing festive colours. Serve them right.

I don't know why I'm bothering, all the patients are going to get cancelled anyway.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:49, Reply)

That's the spirit, Wookiee!
What time are you finishing?

*twiddles Lusty's thumbs*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Never.
*cries*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:56, Reply)

god it's boring here
My missus/boss has decided to come to the office today, so no pissing about for me. I have 2.5 hours till I have to leave - what do I do?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:57, Reply)

Thanks for the twiddles
clendrix.

How is it only 12? I swear time is going backwards.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:57, Reply)

Oh Wookiee, for heaven's sake.
You're the b3tan most likely to snap and embark on a murderous rampage, I reckon.

And yes, I do remember the existence of Kaol
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 11:59, Reply)

I have just checked my work e-mail.
It's full of mong-headed retard students fucking whinging because they wanted to hand their essays in today (late) and no one was around.

FUCK THE FUCK OFF! WE'RE ON FUCKING HOLIDAY.

I am so tempted to have the above as my out-of-office response.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Woohoo!
Guylian chocolates and a cup of tea.

My morning has just improved a whole lot.

@Clendrix. Do it! or maybe have something like

If you're reading this OUT OF OFFICE REPLY. It means I'm OUT OF THE OFFICE. So I couldn't really give a fuck what you want. Email me in the new year when I might care more.
Love Clendrix.
xxx
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:03, Reply)

Sounds brilliant!
In fact, I might also indulge in the three main food groups.
*boils kettle*
*lights smoke*
*opens chocolate*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

Belgian chocolate?
*ears prick up*

*mouth waters*

My favourite foodstuff, in the sucrose-containing domain.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:04, Reply)

@flesh
Surely having your missus as your boss makes those screwing your boss fantasies just that little bit less exciting.

(No disrespect to your missus)
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:09, Reply)

Bugger
Just heard back from girl number 1 and she's not interested. Ah well.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:10, Reply)

it does
and no disrepect taken.

just not the same - especially as she started the company after we had already been together 4 years.

Edit - V, if she's not interested, she's not interesting, or something
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

@V/flesh
My boss is an old bloke. I have no fantasies about screwing him (well, not in that way at least).

Having my other half as my boss would improve matters in that regard!

Not that I'd particularly enjoy her telling me what to do at work, mind...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:11, Reply)

@clendrix
You're forgetting the fourth food group.
Cheese.

@Captain V Oh noes :(
*cuddles*
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:12, Reply)

Thanks lusty
*treats lusty to some beard action*

:edit: @Flesh Actually she's one of the most interesting people I've ever met. Might still stay in contact but she just didn't feel there was any chemistry there. Fair enough I guess.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:14, Reply)

Lusty
I don't have any!
*cries*

V - seriously? Well, I'm bloody surprised.
Sorry you had disappointing news :(
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:18, Reply)

Oh V
*huggles*

Whilst I never met her she is now in my "People who Suck" pile.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:18, Reply)

*enjoys beardy action*
She's obviously a fucking idiot, I've met you and you are all of the win!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

@TGB
Ha ha - you said 'suck'.

*sniggers schoolboyishly*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Badger
I don't think V will want to hear that she sucks. Not now.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:19, Reply)

Quiet K3
Or you will be sent for a good hiding *taps longs wooden ruler on desk*

As it is you will be writing lines later! 100 repetitions of "Sucking is not always sexual"
You too Clendrix!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:21, Reply)

^hehe
Shame to hear that, V-man. *manly hugs and not in a sexy way*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:21, Reply)

Thanks guys
My face is now smiling. I'm not going to hold it against her, she's still a lovely person.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:23, Reply)

100 what?
OK then...
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:23, Reply)

That's rubbish V
I have some Rohypnol if you want to buy any?
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:26, Reply)

*sighs*
I might have reached what is probably my second longest drought ever but I'm not that desperate...yet.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:29, Reply)

Sam
when I was at the science museum the other day we went to the sound of the internet exhibit and there was a post come up from "Sam-i-am" Thought of you ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:30, Reply)

fuck off V
I seem to recall my longest drought was considerably longer than yours!!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:31, Reply)

*does punishment exercise*
"sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual" "sucking is not always sexual"


Better not let on to my GF about this. I got all excited just watching her drink through a straw the other day...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:31, Reply)

K2!
*spankgs*
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:32, Reply)

Copying and pasting isn't allowed K2 - 250 handwritten lines please!
@ TGB - eh? What? Was it actually by me? (I use Sam-i-am on a few forums)

@ Captain - I'm on my second longest drought as well. And that's counting my longest drought as before I lost my virginity :(

Hopefully may be something in the offing over the festive period though, but I'm saying nothing more...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:33, Reply)

@Sam
By those rules I'm on my third longest. Actually, I think I'm on my joint (with 2 other droughts) second longest.

I think lack of sexytiem has addled my brain.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:36, Reply)

Hmm
You men think anything over a month is a drought.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:37, Reply)

Handwriting
is something I've lost most of my skills for. I was always an illegible writer, but now that (other than cryptic notes in my lab book) 99% of my written output is produced by typing on a keyboard, I've almost forgotten how to write!

And I'm left handed too, so get smudges everywhere. You should see the mess when I try to use a fountain pen.

Edit - as for droughts, my last one was over two years. But the weather has changed now, thankfully.

It's rather wet these days.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:38, Reply)

I'm going to read the worst sex ever QOTW
to make me feel better about not getting any.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:38, Reply)

Your writing is bad because you're writing with the wrong hand K2
Every left-handed person I've ever met has shite handwriting, therefore I submit the theory that they are not actually left handed. My writing isn't great but it's appalling if I try to write with my left hand. :P

@ TGB - just over 6 months now I'll have you know! I'm starting to get RSI in my wrist...
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:42, Reply)

Well, that's me done for the year :)
Y'all have a good one - I'm off to the pub

EDIT: I'm left handed and apparently my handwriting is quite neat
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:43, Reply)

You fucker Snee!
Have fun *grumbles*

Ok Sam anything over 6 months counts as an actual drought
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

Bye Snee!
Merry Chistmas!
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

It's got nothing to do with anything, but...
Did you know that a God walks among us?

Less than 5 hours to go til hometime!

EDIT: Bye, snee!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:44, Reply)

@Sam
My writing is much worse if I use my right hand. But I am a bit odd in the way I do things. I hold a shovel left handed. I carry heavy things in my left hand. I tie my shoelaces left handed.

But I play cricket right handed. I throw with my right hand, and eat with my fork in my left and knife in my right hand.

*doesn't mention wanking*

Edit- Bye, snee. Have a good one.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:45, Reply)

Merry Christmas snee!
I'm going to get some mistletoe and some booze and try and beat the drought tonight.

I give it a 22% chance of success.

Edit: I have a left-handed mate who is left handed for everything apart from wanking (he confessed this when he was pissed, and I find it really weird...!)
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:45, Reply)

He probably does that
so it feels like someone else is doing it.



Er.


I mean, I've heard that said before.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:50, Reply)

Always lowering the
tone DiT :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:51, Reply)

Arse.
Just got given some work that needs doing...fucksocks.

That's me here another half hour at least :(
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:52, Reply)

* runs in thread *

* Gives Captain V a hug *

Never mind. Just keep scanning those profiles and eventually, you'll find someone else. The trick behind Internet dating is to keep scanning the profiles. You never know what you'll find.

EDIT: @ snee: arse indeed.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:53, Reply)

Ah that sucks Snee
*laughs a lot*

I'm here till about 5 probably :(

*waves at PPD if she is about*

SPAKKA!! It's know. That's a shocking grammar offence!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:53, Reply)

200
Yay!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:54, Reply)

200
*glees*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:54, Reply)

I'd say that if anything
I'm cross-dominant.

*has missed the boat*

:edit: 200! Ultrawin!
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)

@Badger
I saw what you did there.

But then again, you saw what I did with my ninja edit, so we're even.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:56, Reply)

You can come in my boat if you like V
*wink wink*


And woo even and I get 200! *glees more*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:57, Reply)

^ ^
But I know you deleted a post just to get 200 :-P
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 12:59, Reply)

*climbs aboard*

( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:00, Reply)

Well I play to win
by any means necessary!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:01, Reply)

:-P
just :-P
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:03, Reply)

TGB I think you'll find
*points upwards*

Ahem.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:03, Reply)

I'm fucking bored
and my other half has just had a notice from work that all their staff may have to take a 10% "temporary" paycut...

stupid economy
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Afternoon Vipros
That does indeed suck donkeys' (both the being bored and the paycut). Is her company trying to put off its inevitable bankrupcy?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

*cries*
why V why!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:11, Reply)

Ha Ha!
:-P
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:14, Reply)

I don't think the company are likely to go bankrupt
but this would aid them in weathering the storm

makes it more likely that we would have to take in a lodger next year which sucks...

don't want to take in someone I don't know and like quite a lot....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)

@TGB
Because I can and I'm mean.

:edit: Oh god. Match.com just suggested I contact a man...
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:16, Reply)

@Vipros
Hopefully, it will help. It would help even more if the staff got a 10% pay-increase once the storm was over.

Unfortunately, at one company I used to work for, they delayed payday by one day, and things just went downhill from there.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:18, Reply)

V was it Kaol?
I think you'd make a cute couple ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:19, Reply)

Badger
they would. In fact, they already do.
*knows things*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:20, Reply)

Don't you start!
And no it wasn't.

:edit: No. They're ganging up on me! And clendrix seems to know more than I do. This is not good.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:20, Reply)

@Captain V
That's not so bad! At least you'd have someone to rub beards with and talk about boy things, like transformers and how girls are wee wee heads. (Which we're not by the way)
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)

Greetings clendrix
By the way, I liked your boardsig yesterday. It brought back a forgotten memory from the bash.

EDIT: Greetings Lusty.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:21, Reply)

Oh really Clendrix ;)
Is Kaol jealous of your beard V? Do you have little fights over it?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:22, Reply)

*wants to change the subject*
*for the first time ever is unable to think of something moderately odd to talk about*

Help me!
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:24, Reply)

* throws life-jacket to Captain V *
EDIT: Only moderately odd?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:25, Reply)

Hello spakka
Been working on your bra revision?
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:26, Reply)

Cheers Spak.
V, let's talk about your pants. What colour are they today?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:26, Reply)

@Lusty
Indeed I have.

I can now tell whether or not something is a bra from a distance of 100 metres.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:27, Reply)

spakka
Good job!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:29, Reply)

The best bra
is the one lying at the side of one's bed...

And why aren't bras made with easy-open fasteners? They're a bugger to undo. You'd think at my age I'd have mastered it, but the current Mrs K2 is always highly amused at my useless efforts.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:29, Reply)

K2k6
I think it's so they stay firmly strapped in place.
And also because it's funny to watch men struggling with the fiddly bits. It's like watching a small child at christmas desperatly trying to unwrap the present to get to the delights inside.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

Maybe you should
buy a mannequin and then you can practise when she's not around ;p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

@K2
I'm disappointed in you. I can undo bras and I'm a sprightly young thing!

@Clenders My boxers are maroon today. What colour are yours?
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:33, Reply)

scissors
are your friend k2
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)

V
I am wearing black lacy things.
Yay for M&S.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:34, Reply)

But why
can't bras be fastened using velcro? It's really strong but also easily removable.

Scissors would also work, but I suspect sexytiem may well be curtailed if I tried that.

A mannequin would be a good idea in theory, but I can imagine the difficulty I'd have explaining its presence to my mates/mother/girlfriend/visitors etc.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:37, Reply)

Keep the mannequin at work
And practice for 5 minutes each lunchtime. You'll soon pick it up.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:39, Reply)

Badger, Lusty
and other bearded lovelies!

The Honorable Colonel Santiago has officially passed the job of setting up the OT Great Beard Thread to me on Christmas Eve.

I shall get up nice and early to ensure this important task is completed.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:41, Reply)

K2k6
An easier option would just be to have as much sex as possible, thus giving you more chances for bra removal!

@Clendrix. Oh good! I was just wondering what was going on about that!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:42, Reply)

well k2
that, or you get your missus to NOT wear one...
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:43, Reply)

Hey Lusty
My bra-identification skills are improving. Have a look...

bra

not a bra

bra

not a bra

bra

not a bra

Good eh?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:45, Reply)

Well done spakka.
You'll be an expert soon enough!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:51, Reply)

Oh, a knife!
*grins*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:51, Reply)

You're a knife magnet Kaol!
*grins*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:53, Reply)

Clendrix you're wrong
Knives are kaol magnets.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:53, Reply)

V
I believe that whatever the attraction, they will always meet.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Morning everyone!
Er... Afternoon, I mean.
*sighs*

On the plus side, I slept lots, despite not getting home 'til 3.
Was out playing my new bass... It's lovely!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:55, Reply)

Yay!
I've discovered the secret Kaol-summoning image.

Still haven't mastered bras myself, but at least now, I remember to take off my own underpants at the crucial moment.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Why do knives
suddenly appear?
Every time you are near
Just like me
They long to be
Close to you...
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:58, Reply)

mmmm beards
One of the entrants has been trying to bribe me though!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 13:59, Reply)

NO!
I have spent quite a bit of time playing with one of the entries, but there will be no preferential treatment.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:00, Reply)

@Captain V
I don't think the Carpenters have ever given me an officelol before.
*grins*

Hello Kaol!
*waves*
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:00, Reply)

*scareds*
Don't worry I shall remain impartial!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:02, Reply)

@Lusty/flesh
I have tried both of these techniques, with varying degrees of success.

The lots of sex one works OK :-) but the not wearing a bra one doesn't go down well (at least out of the house) because she is, well, er, quite generously proportioned in the upper torso department.

*pleaseds*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:02, Reply)

@TGB
What sort of bribes? *is suspicious of a certain b3tan*

I've now got this mental image of kaol as magneto playing with knives in the air.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:03, Reply)

I'm just nipping in the thread to wish everyone Happy Christmas.
Just found out we don't have to come into work tomorrow.

Have fun everyone and see you all in the New Year.

*hugs*
( girlinthehole, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:03, Reply)

Hello blousey
Merry Christmas to you too. Have a good one.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:04, Reply)

Hello Blousey
and Merry whotsits to you too

* hugs *
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:07, Reply)

G'afternoon Ms. Lusty :)
Right...
I've got a tricky decision to make...
I should really go and do some Christmas shopping...

Do I go to:

a) Cambridge (It's big, but will be very, very busy)

b) Bishop's Stortford (A bit crap, but I can park at a mate's house)

c) Put it off 'til tomorrow.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:07, Reply)

Kaol...
OR

you can come down to Oxford Street with me.

*cries*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:09, Reply)

@Kaol
Give everyone IOUs for Christmas and put it off until January, when the shops are a bit quieter.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:10, Reply)

@Kaol
If you pick c, you'll still have to chose from a or b tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm off to improve my bra-indentification skills some more. Hopefully, by the evening, I should be able to tell the difference between a bra and a nuclear power-plant.

Have fun!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:10, Reply)

No!
That's a bad suggestion, I'd like to avoid London.

No offence :p
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:10, Reply)

well aren't you lucky BGB
I finish teaching today, but the office is calling my name tomorrow. :(
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Well,
I've got most of my stuff, I just need to grab a few smaller bits and pieces.

And I guess I should get dressed first.
Haha!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:12, Reply)

I'd like to avoid London, too, Kaol.
Bollocks.

But as I'm going down there for something for you, you can't come anyway - HA!

If you only need small stuff, Bishop's Stortford it is, yes?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:16, Reply)

@spakka
Actually, that could be quite a difficult one:

Bra.



Nuclear power station.



Hint - the nuclear power station has only one large round white bit.

Edit - Everyone OK with images, or do you want me to link to them?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:16, Reply)

Blimey, whose bra is that?
It's not a very good one.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:18, Reply)

Afternoon all
You go and get on with that work 'spakka. It's clear you still have much work to do.

And afternoon to all others. And Kaol, if it's just small things then I would go with B.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:20, Reply)

K2k6
The only wrong thing about those pictures is how poorly fitting that bra is.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:25, Reply)

*delayed response to V*
I couldn't possibly say ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:27, Reply)

at fucking last
home time.

see you all tomorrow.
or maybe tonight.

byeeeeeeeee
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Bye Flesh!
See you soon.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:29, Reply)

Ah
I thought you were just avoiding the question *shines light in TGBs eyes* Now answer the question or something not very nice will happen!

*is not a good interrogator*
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:32, Reply)

*tickles V*
*giggles at his high pitched squeals*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:34, Reply)

Oh god oh god
Stop it will you! I am the one doing the interrogating around here!
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:35, Reply)

Not very well it seems
:p

You should get some tips off your boyfriend ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Pfft, I put the
"Terror" in "interrogation".
And on that wonderful note, I'm off to the pub (as per Option B, but with more drinking).

Bye!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Bugger
I've been well done.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:37, Reply)

Hurrah!
I have finally finished all of my work for today, which means it's now officially Christmas!

Wahoo!

*dreads long drive to Dorset*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:38, Reply)

You've been well buggered V?
TMI there maybe :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:40, Reply)

I would dread going to Dorset, DiT
How are you old thing? Enjoying this festive season?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:40, Reply)

Bras
That bra above was gleaned from Google images, and was from a site called "mybigroundtits.com" or something like that.

It's not the best, but I was looking for something shaped like the Dounreay nuclear reactor!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Tell me about it, PoD!
Worst thing is, I'm not even driving - and I'm a very bad passenger!

I'm well though, thanks matey. Looking forward to the festivities very much. And your good self?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:48, Reply)

I'm grand, tightly
I'm enjoying being home from uni for the holidays, and getting cooked for and the like. And I just finished wrapping the last of presents for Thursday. I feel thoroughly organised.

I'm also an awful passenger. I'd much rather be the one driving.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:53, Reply)

5/12
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/7790616.stm

Overall I got 25/48 (I think). I'm not including the bonus 4 points for the pictures because I read the answer before doing the last quiz.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

I want some lunch dammit
it's been too sodding busy to get food though :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 14:59, Reply)

Hey Becks
I would push some food through my router, but that really didn't go well last time I did it. Having fun on reception?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:02, Reply)

It's been ok, just an hour to go
then I get to come back in 3 hours for the last puppy school of the season :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:03, Reply)

Awesome
Puppy school been going well?

Everyone else seems to have wandered off. Are they hiding? Come out b3tards, there's cake!


There isn't actually. Sorry. Very sorry.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:07, Reply)

Cake!?
*reads* Oh *sads*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:09, Reply)

I was going to come for cake.
But it appears I've been lied to.

*cries*

*has guylian chocolate instead*

*covers self in chocolatey goodness*

*glees*
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Aha!
I knew you were hiding there, Badgerface. Are you well?

And I feel bad. Here, have some proper cake.

*proffers*

*proffers some at chocolately 'lusty too*
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:12, Reply)

Oh, chocolate again
*licks chocolatey goodness from Lusty*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:13, Reply)

*licks chocolatey goodness off Lusty*
And yeah I have been lurking about, not too bad how's you PoD?

edit: dammit I am thinkinng like k3 *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:14, Reply)

*covers self in more chocolatey goodness*
*sits back and awaits licking*
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:14, Reply)

I do
enjoy a good lusty licking in the afternoon :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:15, Reply)

Good to see Dounreay get a surprise mention here
Considering I live nearby! Yay!

Sellafield gets all the press... Too much I say!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:16, Reply)

Afternoon all!
I can join in the Christmassy goodness now, as I'm officially finishing up at work now.

Managed to acquire a nice motor for 'evaluation' purposes over the break too, so I'm full of exciteds. Mind - I hadn't considered that it'll be parked in Stoke on Trent for a good while over the break, so I don't expect it to stay in one piece for too long...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:17, Reply)

I'm good Badger
I'm taking this week off from doing work before starting revision and work after Christmas. I feel it is a good plan. We shall see how it reflects in my exam marks.

I also feel I should stop lying about on my bed watching Come Dine With Me, and actually do something useful.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:18, Reply)

*licks*
Hot damn, I love OT.

So you have at least three hours in a car, and you're a bad passenger. What do you do to pass the time?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:20, Reply)

duckie duckie duckie
did you get my text did you did you did you?

And I think I will be finishing in approx 40 mins then need to get my dad and stepdad some ale!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:20, Reply)

TGB!
I read your text while I was on the M1 (yes - I know - naughty), and promised myself I'd reply to it once I got home. I officially suck!

It's looking a bit tight for me time-wise over the break, but I might be able to manage something early next week...
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:23, Reply)

DiT
www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A397398

Play games!

Or just shout "are we there yet?" Over and over again until it even annoys you.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:24, Reply)

@Dirty W
I used Dounreay as it has a nice round reactor ball. And you're quite right. Why should Sellafield get all the attention when there are plenty of radioactive hotspots on the beach up there to get excited about? :)

*licks Lusty again*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:24, Reply)

Good plan, Lusty!
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?

*finds self on hard shoulder*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

If I knew
there was going to be this much licking, I'd cover my self in food more often.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:28, Reply)

Well if you
can squeeze us in sometime duckie we'd be honoured :p

*licks lusty more as well*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:33, Reply)

Sounds like a plan!
Would you have different foodstuffs for different areas?

Just a thought, like. :)

Me, I'd have Chocolate on my arms, in case there were no people licking me but I fancied a snack.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:34, Reply)

Don't go there, DiT
I'm resisting mention of where the cheese goes...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:39, Reply)

I think I'd give myself
a chocolate face, biscuit arms, cream cake legs, butterscotch flavoured angel delight neck and strawberry flavoured lady bits.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:39, Reply)

Eww, K2!
Filthmonger!

However, you sound mighty tasty there, O Lustful one. I haven't had Angel Delight in years and years!

*reminisces*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:42, Reply)

Lusty is
tasty even when she isn't covered in anything ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:43, Reply)

Oh TGB
You do know how to flatter a girl!

@Dit. I had it for the first time in years a few weeks ago. It was just as tasty as I remembered!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:44, Reply)

This brings us
right back to jelly tot nipples!

*licks Lusty again*

Ooh, strawberry...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:44, Reply)

K2k6
You've got a bit of my cream cake all over you ears now.

I feel quite pervy saying that.
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:48, Reply)

@Lusty
*lablols*

I wondered why my hearing had gone a bit dull.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:52, Reply)

I wish I could cry angel delight

then I would watch Watership Down over and over enjoying the odd juxtoposition of sweet butterscotch goodness and nightmare inducing terror and despair.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:57, Reply)

NakedApe
I like how your mind works!
( wanderlust, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 15:59, Reply)

All washed down with Gin

*cries*

*noms*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Oh...
*starts CPR on thread*

*resuscitates*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:24, Reply)

All I want is to sneak off early

and loads of stupid stuff has happened to keep me here, hmm might go off and do it!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:30, Reply)

Right then, folks...
I am off to start my festive holidays. I might be around, but if I'm not:

MERRY RUDDY CHRISTMAS!!

I hope you have a great time, see you on the other side!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:46, Reply)

Hurrah I got home before all of you
but I probably started work earlier than most of you though and I have to go back in an hour to do puppy school.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:51, Reply)

*makes swift return*
*hugs becky*

Y'aright, m'dear? Hope so!

*dashes out*
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 16:59, Reply)

*hugs the fleeting DiT*

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 17:02, Reply)

I've wrapped all my presents
huzzah.

I have about 2 more to buy though. Hmm... *out of ideas*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 17:30, Reply)

My landlady just had me in tears
cos I'm a soft bastard.

I've just given her a knock to pay my rent for this week and when I offered her the cash she waved it away and said 'Merry Christmas, and know how proud I am of you for getting things sorted.'

Then she hugged me.

I'm in pieces right now.

/emo
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:02, Reply)

Awesome No3l
The spirit of christmas, there you go.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:04, Reply)

Aww that's lovely No3L
Christmas spirit abounds.

And I has beer.

Beer gooooooooooooood!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:13, Reply)

Tis most ace and festive
And she's doubled my christmas budget! I'm off to do ALL my shopping tomorrow. Judging from what Sky News was saying earlier it's going to be fucking mental in the shops.

I like this :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:17, Reply)

On a bah humbug theme
we ordered Sweary Junior an electric guitar from Amazon. We did try to say to him that it would be better to go to a guitar shop, but he insisted that this was the one. So we ordered it, and it arrived a few days ago.

Just got it out the box to check it's OK, and there's a huge fucking chip in it. In fact one of the corners is broken off.

And on checking Amazon again, they are out of stock. Not happy. Not happy at all.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:25, Reply)

Ooh.
Like you said, I'd never order an instrument on the internet. Just never :(

Poor kid. Is it his Big One?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:27, Reply)

Yup.
It's a bastard and no mistake.

But still, you try and tell kids these things and they never listen. He now wants to keep it insisting that he'd only drop it anyway but that's not the point. Fortunately we have a couple of guitar shops locally where we may be able to pick up a different one. And failing that, a photo and a demand for a discount will have to be the way to go.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:30, Reply)

Lovely story, No3L!
Crappy story, Grandad - Royal Mail are turning me into a right-wing, reactionary old Mail reader this Christmas (yes, I'm blaming them for the chip, for the state of the country - for everything!). I hate them.

Erm anyway - hello, you two :)
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:33, Reply)

In music-related Much Better News
I met a keyboard player at my mate's place on Friday and we had a jam. We've got incredibly similar music tastes and we really clicked.

Getting together in January for my first collaboration in about eight years *EXCITES*

Edit: Lo clendrix!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:35, Reply)

Hello clenders
I've just has a look in the box, and there's no sign of the missing piece. So I don't think we can blame Royal Mail. It was obviously fucked when it was packed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:38, Reply)

Hey, hey...
I finally made it home...well, for now :)

Everyone full of some kind of spirit?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:38, Reply)

Oh...
shame. I like blaming Royal Mail.

So why would someone put that in a box and send it out? Why? What's wrong with people?

*sighs*

Hello snee. I am without spirit. I've decided to have a night off ahead of the next few days of horror.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:40, Reply)

A night off?
Surely you should be practising...

EDIT: the worrying thing is, I've been off work for 5 hours or so...and I'm bored already :|
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:42, Reply)

Lo snee
I've got wonderful, wonderful marijuana milk. And Scrubs and My Name is Earl.

Life is good.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:43, Reply)

Snee
I'm full of hops and vitriol. Does that count?

fucking Amazon
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:43, Reply)

@ DG
It all counts :)

*googles vitriol to see what is is...*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:46, Reply)

*massages DG*
Only fifteen minutes to go til the repeat of Journey's End, then there's a new episode on Christmas Day.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:47, Reply)

I survived Christmas shopping.
Option "B" was the right one.
Plus I got to see one of my mates who moved to Devon and was home for Christmas.

And I went to the pub :D
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)

I didn't know it was on...
But I have the box set anyway.

*accepts massage*

*heads for fridge*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:52, Reply)

Hey Kaol
I thought option B was to nuke the bastards?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:53, Reply)

Nah, that was option D.
Option B was "Go to Bishop's Stortford".

Option A, "Go to Cambridge", would have resulted in the swift implementation of Option D, I feel.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 18:57, Reply)

I didn't make it to Oxford Street.
I think it was good for me, good for everyone already there...but bad for the friend I was going to buy something for...
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 19:11, Reply)

*takes of hat*
*remembers*

*puts hat back on*

I'm sure your friend won't mind, Oxford Street is Hell at the best of times, let alone just before Christmas!

In true Kaol-style, I managed to get an equal number of things for myself as I did for other people, haha!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 19:14, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahaaaaaaaaa
The friend is YOU!

Ha!

(I have made plans to shop on another day.)

Did you buy yourself anything naughty?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 19:16, Reply)

Oh!
Haha!
*hugs you*

Well, I've gotta go cook stuff now :)
I'll be around later.

EDIT: I got a couple of books, some whisky and a DVD :p
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 19:20, Reply)

thread killer!
*passes hat to Kaol*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 20:44, Reply)

*passes hat back to DG*
:p
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:04, Reply)

Knock, knock...
Which reminds me - what's yellow and invisible?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:08, Reply)

Stealth custard?
*shrugs*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:09, Reply)

The sun
during an English summer?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:11, Reply)

HG Wells's
banana?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:13, Reply)

Christmas shopping?
Maybe, I dunno!

I'm just about to go do some laundry.
Fun.
*sighs*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:15, Reply)

*mopes in*
blah blah Christmas shit blah blah
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:15, Reply)

I don't think we'll ever know.
*sighs*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:16, Reply)

:)
No bananas
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:17, Reply)

Oh dear!
*shakes head slowly*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:18, Reply)

Brilliant snee.
Brilliant.

*heads off to find baseball bat*
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:19, Reply)

C'mon...
You actually groaned then eh?

But we all know what's brown and sticky...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:20, Reply)

evenign everybody
how are we all tonight?
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:20, Reply)

Cat-sick?
Yeah, a stick, I know...

Er...
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:21, Reply)

can I
have some hugs please?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:22, Reply)

*hugs* TGB
(But keeps his hand on his wallet)

EDIT: Brown and sticky? that'd be a stick then...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:23, Reply)

*hugs TGB*
*offers cider and cigarettes*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:24, Reply)

*pokes Badger with the stick*
What's up, Badger?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:25, Reply)

I would just like to point out...
I've never seen that stick before in my life. Wait, or is that what she said?
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:28, Reply)

Thanks guys
I dunno just a bit of the Christmas blues maybe.

*smirks at getting smee's wallet*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:44, Reply)

*waits*
For the ninja edit...
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:45, Reply)

nope
you're called Smee now. Live with it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:45, Reply)

Well done on getting Smee's wallet.
Christmas Blues. I had them for the first time ever this year, but for some reason I had them at the beginning of December.

I like to get things done early.*

*Erm, still have some presents to get...

Anyway, *hugs* for yours.
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:50, Reply)

I think boob
hugs would help Clendrix

hugs Clendrix, nuzzles her awesome boobs*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:51, Reply)

Um...
That's not my wallet - I have no knowledge of the contents.

*runs*
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:51, Reply)

*jiggles boobs for Badger*
*shares their warmth around*

The newly-named Smee has run off! What on earth is in that wallet?
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:53, Reply)

*looks through wallet*
*looks shocked*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:56, Reply)

Evening folks
Has everybody had a good day?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 21:58, Reply)

Hey Dok
Good one here...lots of alcohol :)
( snee held his breath since, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:01, Reply)

Nice
I wish I had lots of alcohol. I finally managed to get rid of my niece, and now I have a shed load of shopping to do.

Bugger it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:03, Reply)

Hello Dok
Dalek now in profile....

*pimps*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:11, Reply)

*looks*
ooooh shiny!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:23, Reply)

DG
Looks good, very good.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:37, Reply)

'tis very splendid
Genesis model, y' know...


*geeks*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:54, Reply)

Yay!
It looks like a, erm, Dalek.

Lovely!
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:56, Reply)

Oh come now Drixy
Everybody knows Daleks are all of the awesome.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:57, Reply)

They are!
But I don't think I'm knowledgeable enough to make a worthy comment.

I was always very scared of them, though!
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 22:58, Reply)

What Dok said
*wishes could afford a new series Dalek, but makes do anyway*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:00, Reply)

There is not much in the geekery world
That can be out geeked by a Dalek.

Genesis era, is the best era for Daleks if you ask me!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:01, Reply)

And
the best Davros, if you ask me...

Which you didn't, but Michael Wisher FTW!

although Julian Bleach was pretty damned good. And Terry Molloy was OK even if his mask was a bit crap

David Gooderson was shit though

*Geeks some more*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:04, Reply)

Er...
It's a salt-shaker with lasers!
Well done!

*twitches*

Drinking while cooking is good.
BUT...
Salt and sugar are very different, despite looking the same.
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Wisher was by far the best.
His is still the only Davros that puts shivers up my spine. He scared the crap out of me as a kid!

I always find tasting them first helps Kaol.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:08, Reply)

Me too
But to be fair, I WAS five...

*olds*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:10, Reply)

^Whatever you say, Dok
:)
( thealternativefact, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:10, Reply)

Yeah...
I had to throw my coffee away.
*goes back to kitchen*

Nearly finished!
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:12, Reply)

Evening folks!
Wow... real internet access! I'm not used to such a massive browser!

How're we all?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:14, Reply)

Same here DG
Drixy :)

Hi No3l
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:16, Reply)

I love Wisher
best of all the Davroses

I love Wisher

Cos he is my Grandson...

Erm, 'scuse me...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:24, Reply)

No3L
A massive browser..?

That sounds wrong!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:25, Reply)

Hey guys
The cables for my monitors turned up today so I'm now viewing b3ta in glorious double vision. To be honest it'd have been cheaper to just buy some vodka...

How are you lovelies tonight?
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:29, Reply)

Hello V
I'm just wibbling about Daleks and Davros and wondering whether to go to bed.

How's your good self?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:33, Reply)

*waves*
I'm done cooking now.
But I'm quite drunk.

I found that the glass I was using had two interesting features:

1) It could fit exactly half a bottle of cider in.

2) That seems to also be the same amount of cider that I can down in one, absent-mindedly.

*grins*
( Cawl, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:34, Reply)

Not too bad, all things considered
Started coming down with a cold last night so I'm feeling a bit worn out. Should really get to bed and try to sleep it off but the internet is just too adictive.

Had a look at the photo of your dalek earlier. I'm incredibly jealous although being a (much) bigger fan you probably deserve it more. For that reason I wont be trying to steal it!
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:35, Reply)

Most of my browsing
is done at 240x320px on my ickle mobile phone.

So yes, it's massive!

And off to bed. Night folks.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:38, Reply)

V
If you could steal it you would be welcome to it for sheer determination. Because:

It's really fucking huge; and

Manhandling it out of the door would be enough to wake me up and come running down the stairs in order to kick you up the arse :D
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:47, Reply)

DG
Is that a challenge? *takes up challenge*

I'm off to bed now folks. Nightles.
( Captain V, Tue 23 Dec 2008, 23:56, Reply)

No challenge
but I'm off to my pit now as well.

Night all.

*Waves and blows kisses*
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:05, Reply)

Night!
I'm putting photoshop on my flash drive, along with various other exciting things.
Because a week and a bit away from my computer will drive me insane. Well, insane-er.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:09, Reply)

Evening all
And evening Kaol. I am beginning to love photoshop more and more. And I'm taking my laptop pretty much wherever I go these days.

I also just had an awesome night with a couple of friends who I haven't seen in ages. I want to give them lots of money, but don't have lots of money to give them :(
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:17, Reply)

Why'd you wanna give 'em money?
I say a mate of mine earlier who I'd not seen in a few months.
He's great!
But now he's moved to Devon.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:18, Reply)

They got married in the summer
And she is now away at uni, and following the wedding, the roof in one of the rooms in their flat fell in. They're surviving, but using overdrafts and the likes. They're both awesome, so I'd love to help them out, if only my account wasn't complaining at me as it is.

I saw you saying about Devon. And about your shopping going surprisingly well, and involving the pub. It's good shopping when it involves the pub.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:22, Reply)

Yeah, it's great!
But I was driving.
So I had to be sensible :p
( Cawl, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:27, Reply)

Ha
Well, you can't win them all. Two of my friends seem to have given me cider so far, as far as I can tell. Which is nice, if slightly unexpected.

You off work tomorrow?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:33, Reply)

Yeah, Monday was my last day.
That sounds pretty rubbish about their roof and stuff :(

I don't have work 'til the 5th.
I'm gonna be in London though, with my family, so gotta drive there tomorrow.
Glad I ran out of cider!
I was on the "K" tonight, that stuff is great/terrible.
( Cawl, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:40, Reply)

Ah yes
I have heard tales of you and your K cider before.

And now I feel I must away and sleep, since I slept really very little last night. Have a great Christmas and New Year, good sir.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:44, Reply)

Thank you Mr. PoD!
A great Christmas and a Happy New Year to you :)

Take care mate!
( Cawl, Wed 24 Dec 2008, 0:47, Reply)