A bit of leathery fluff for Bert
Found this and thought of you Bertie dear...

uk.youtube.com/watch?v=cBtFTF2ii7U
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 8:43, 12 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I want to make love to it
Good morning! I bet it only reminded you of me because Elephants are so well endowed.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 8:47, Reply)

But of course
Not at all because it reminded me of your leathery scrotum
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 8:58, Reply)

Actually
Oil of Olay keeps my scrote as fresh and young looking as it was when I was 2.

It's also the same size as when I was 2.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 8:59, Reply)

Ahh
I had a feeling...Yeah, the oil of olay isn't working.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 9:49, Reply)

So it's wrinkly
and pathetically small?

I'm going to cry and sulk for the rest of the day now. You.. ..you.. you.. big MEANIE.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 9:57, Reply)

On a related note

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Lab
Is that you receiving a blowjob from an Elephant...?

I'm really not sure what to say to that at all. I'm flummoxed.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:20, Reply)

It is
I was receiving a 'massage' from an elephant at an elephant sanctuary in Thailand. My Dad happened to take this pic when the elephant's trunk was, well, in a prime position.

I gave her my number, but she never called *sobs*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:25, Reply)

Their fat fingers
can't dial phones!

You should have called her, doofus.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:26, Reply)

They have very dextrous trunks
Quite magical.

She did 'trunk' my face after though, it was slimy, like she was trying to snowball me.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Yummy
there's nothing quite like cross-species come swapping in my opinion.

Yesterday I felched an earthworm.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:31, Reply)

I imagine that would taste quite peaty
Like a finger of Laphroig, cooled gently by two cubes of frozen sperm.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 22 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)