It's my Birthday next week and I shall be 27

What should I ask for?

I'm a bit stumped, but perhaps you clever people know of some excting gadget that has escaped my attention.

Some facts: I am a chap, I don't have a musical bone in my body, girlfriend says I'm not allowed a PS3 etc, I don't like fish.

Thanks
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:05, 31 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Get an automatic beer opener
www.whynotbe.com/vipsale.html?gclid=CMXArun4tZgCFQrAGgodMgppbA
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:09, Reply)

A new girlfriend? :-)

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:14, Reply)

^^^^
This! FTW
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:20, Reply)

since when
did people ask for things for their birthday?

Don't you just graciously accept any presents that people are kind enough to give you? Eh? EH?

(It's my birthday next week too and I'm secretly hoping for an axe.)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:22, Reply)

Perhaps...

Not that keen on computer games myself, I only really enjoy multi-player ones and you need friends for that...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:22, Reply)

CHCB

I was aksed to ask by my parents and siblings as they have no imagination!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Then I shake my fist firmly
at your parents and siblings. Ask for your wildest dreams*






(*not the ones involving animal porn)
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:24, Reply)

With the PS3
you get free online multiplayer.

CHCB I'd have thought that a NakedApe's wildest dreams would be a fur coat, smeared with faeces.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:24, Reply)

I agree
with the new girlfriend motion! What kind of bollocks is that saying you're not allowed something! Unless you're violently epileptic or there's some medical reasoning..
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:25, Reply)

I'm not sure beating a spotty youth

in his bedroom on the otherside of the world is the same a overtaking on the last corner of a race that your friend has lead the whole way, snatching victory and causing him to leap off his chair spill his beer and call you a cunt.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:28, Reply)

I think a pinch of salt may be needed on the PS3 ban

I'm not so much banned, but she would prefer it if I didn't have one as she hates computer games...better to do stuff together really.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:30, Reply)

MASSIVE FUCKING DOUBLE-ENDED BUTT PLUG
for both of you
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:32, Reply)

^
True. That is stuff you could do together.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:36, Reply)

and one of them could be watching corrie
while the other does the dishes as they anally pleasure one another.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:38, Reply)

God I could live with the butt plug

but please, I beg of you no Coronation Street, or any other soap for that matter. Utter drivel.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I wasn't being serious
about the new girlfriend, I just thought it was a great reply.

I like the buttplug idea though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Ape
your missus can watch corrie then, or the X Factor, or Dancing on Celebrity Ice, or I'mreallyfat,waitnoI'mnot,I'mgoingtogetnakedinpublicandcry with Gok Wan.

You know, all the good stuff girls like.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:42, Reply)

The girlfriend is wierd and hardly watches any TV at all

She particluarly despises all that reality crap. She likes programs about monkeys and other furry creatures.

Strange but true...never has a text vote eminated from our flat.


maybe I'll ask for a monkey, how much Bert?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I think if any b3tan had ever voted on a reality show
they'd probably get banned too.

My monkeys come pre-soiled, rates have changed since the last time of posting, what with the credit crunch.

It's 50p an hour.
£1.50 for the night.
Or if you want one for keeps, I demand a picture of a child in a monkey suit, pouring tea for an imaginary vicar.
(tiger blood and Adonis DNA, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Get yourself
a blu-ray player and a big TV and tell her to cook you supper.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 9:54, Reply)

A PS3
If she loves you, she'll buy you one.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:02, Reply)

A ball pen
Ask for the materials to cordon off a room in your flat/house/bedsit/squat and fill it with plastic balls.

Either you get a ball pen - which would be awesome - or she'll yield and agree that the PS3 is a far simpler option all round. _{Though personally I'd go for the ball pen.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:09, Reply)

Ball pit FTW
Although they always smell a bit funny, do you think kids pee in them like swimming pools?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Wouldn't surprise me, the dirty, ungrateful little bastards
But you're not going to pee in your own ball pen, obviously.

Are you?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:15, Reply)

If you like playing games with your mates
man the fuck up and ask for a PS3. You don't have to play it when she's around.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:17, Reply)

I'm not that bothered about PS3 really

I just thought everyone would suggest it/Wii/X-Box, too much constant investment in games.

Maybe I'll see if I can go sky diving, short, but sweet!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:28, Reply)

In that case
search Youtube for 'Tix clock'.

It's about the fifth time I've recommended them here :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)

eee!
I want a ball pit! Adult sized, do you think an adult sized one actually exists anywhere? One that doesnt smell of kiddie piss?
(darras jeg har en grevling i hodet. Grevling, grevlang, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 13:25, Reply)

Be sure
not to get that mixed up with 'pit bull'

That'd be a bitey surprise.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 30 Jan 2009, 13:49, Reply)

A Cock-Sucking Bull-Frog
And teach it to cook.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 30 Jan 2009, 14:29, Reply)

ooooo
whens your birthday? Mine's next saturday!!! *is excited*

ask for a birthday blowjob? I don't know.... :P
(Poppet some assembly required., Sat 31 Jan 2009, 3:20, Reply)