Walkers
No, not those of you who like a ramble through a furry glen, or a mossy cleft but Walkers. The Crisps.

I feel that having now sampled the 6 new flavours, it is my duty to report my findings for those unable to do so, or those with tastebud malfunctions.

See thread for more...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:15, 25 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Onion Bhaji - Not completely dissimilar to the taste of a Bhaji but a little bland. The taste does not suit the texture of a crisp. 6.5/10

Cajun Squirrel - Difficult to know where to start here. I've never eaten squirrel so cannot compare the tastes, only comment. To me, this wasn't a particularly 'meaty' flavour and was far too herby for my liking. Tasted like cheap pasta sauce and could have done with a little toning down.4/10

Chilli & Chocolate - I have to admit, I was looking forward to this one the least. It turns out, rightly so. Chocolate, whist marvellous in A Chilli, abosolutely, categorically does not work as a crisp flavour. Yes, there was a 'kick' from the chilli but nothing overly pleasant - the whole thing bizarrely reminding me of the taste of tinned sweetcorn. Avoid like the plaugue.0/10

Fish and Chips - Now this is more like it! Vaguely remeniscent of Scampi & lemon Nik-Naks, these left a pleasant taste and were enjoyable to the bottom of the bag. I would actually go as far as saying I could taste the chips (funny that, what with it being a potato product)! Lacking mushy peas and gravy however, I can only give this 8.5/10

Duck & Hoi sin Sauce - Fuck me! All this needs is the pancake and you're there! Perfect recreation of both Duck and Hoi sin flavours, they seem very well suited to the medium of crisps. I could eat these all day and will definitely buy these again. Nom nom nom... 10/10

...and finally;

Builder's Breakfast - I only thought about this after I started to eat them but effectively, these were an egg-tainted version of walkers smokey bacon. That put me off somewhat. Egg taint. Bleugh. However, I was surprised once again as these are magnificent crisps! Take a little time and you can identify ALL the ingredients of a breakfast. Despite this, the flavour isn't overly complicated/muddled and works well. Another winner in my eyes!9.5/10

So. Have you tried them? Do you agree/disagree? Discuss.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Ducks are good.
Chocolate is a stupid flavour for a crisp.

I haven't tried any of the others.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:18, Reply)

While i in know way wish to detract from your good work

I feel it's my duty to draw your attention to this:

www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2009/feb/16/walkers-crisps-new-flavours-brooker
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)

Well...
I have sampled thre of said flavours.

Fish and Chips - odd.

Duck and Hoi Sin Sauce - odd.

Cajun Squirrel - slightly less odd than the others, and surprisingly didn't taste of nuts.

Wacky flavours have been done better, I think.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)

I haven't even heard of these crisps....
walkers did some fish and chips flavour crisps a while back, salt and vinegar french fries with prawn cocktail flavour fish things.

really good.

best part of that charlie brooker column: "Since the squirrel flavour doesn't actually contain any squirrel, they could unleash other tastes you're vaguely curious about, but would never actually eat, like Cyanide and Lemon, or The Late Marilyn Monroe"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:23, Reply)

What's wrong with good old ready salted.
If I wanted something tasting of Hoisin duck then I'll go to the Chinese restaurant and order Hoisin duck.





Is vegetarian so wouldn't actually do that.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:28, Reply)

hoisin duck isn't particularly cheap, or good for a quick snack
also, by being vegetarian and not eating duck with hoisin sauce you are missing out on one of the greatest pleasures a human can experience.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:30, Reply)

Does anyone remember
when Seabrook tried sweetcorn flavour for a while? They were vile.

Can you still get ketchup flavour Seabrook? They were yum. Indian Tandoori used to by favourite but they stopped making them.

Sorry for lack of Walkers related opinions, I'm a Seabrook whore.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:31, Reply)

@Vipros.
I wasn't always a vegetarian. I've tried it and still thought letting the little duckies live was a better idea.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:32, Reply)

@ Naked ape
I'd not actually seen that - in fact I didn't look for any other reviews before mine. Had I done so, I fear I would have realised how futile my attempt was.

Whilst I'm never going to have the wit/eloquance of Mr Brooker, it's good to know that on the whole we agreed!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:33, Reply)

The Ultimate Crisp
Brannagans extra thick Beef and Mustard (or Ham and pickle).

NYOM NYOMM
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:34, Reply)

I applaud this thread
Well done, Colonel Santiago!
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:35, Reply)

You're welcome Baz.
I try my best...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:36, Reply)

NOTHING WILL EVER TOPPLE PRAWN COCKTAIL!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:37, Reply)

Fuck Prawn Cocktail.
Right in the ass.

It's like drinking a fucking vat of ketchup you filthy thing...
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:40, Reply)

BGB
nothing that delicious deserves to live ;-)

Dirty Weeker: are those Brannagans ones the ones that actually have the power of mustard (tm) in them?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:41, Reply)

I was on a 19 hour coach journey in Australia


and I had been happily munching on some ham flavoured crisps, when at the bottom of the pack I discovered a mighty flavour ball!

I gently lifted free of the packet and examined it, it was about the large of a large grape, delicate to the touch and made of purest ham flavouring.

I was bewitched; this was going to be the most amazing culinary experience anyone had ever had on coach!

I dropped the nugget of joy into my mouth and bit down to release it's pungent flavours.

Holy wanking christ, it was and still is the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth!

If someone dried the Dead Sea, mixed the salt with pig shit and then mixed in some silica gel as a drying agent and shovelled the entire mixture into my mouth through the corpse of Jo Brand it would have tasted better.

This thing was like the Devil's piles dipped in salt, it sucked all of the moisture out of my mouth and then my body, leaving me shrivelled up in the corner until the next fuel stop where I could buy some water an try and flush some of the shit out of me.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:42, Reply)

Ape - you get a click for that one, sunshine! ; )

(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:44, Reply)

Colonel

Thanks old bean, sorry to hi-jack your thread with that Brooker link, but it did make me laugh!

If bert sees me post another link he might just face fuck me with a Double Decker.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Vipros
I refer to these magnificant beasts:



They used to have paper bags which were even more wonderous. Do they have the "power of mustard"? As a mustard connoisseur I would have to say a resounding yes!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Having just follwed my crisps with a double decker, I can't think of anything better than that.
I'd gladly administer a face fucking by double decker upon myself.

Nom.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Ready salted crisps and a kitkat.
I'm a purist, and I've had enough excitement in my life without having to resort to silly flavoured crisps.
( girlinthehole, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 14:59, Reply)

I really liked
chocolate covered pretzels, but they took them away so now I have to make do with eating half a bag of ready salted, then some Galaxy, then the other half.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Walkers Ready Salted
Are without a shadow of doubt the King of 'Normal' Crisps. (i.e. not hand selected by olde worlde artisans, dusted with rare flavourings and spices, just to shatter into savoury gum-lacerating shrapnel once inserted into face)

Seabrooks come a close second, but are a tad greasy, and can be used as candle substitutes in the right circumstances.

Now, pork scratchings, however...
(osok Rebel without a clue, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 16:18, Reply)

listen to osok
pork scratching flavour pork scratchings, preferable ones with hair still on, and healthy collection of congealed fat attached

i've just made myself salivate
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Wed 18 Feb 2009, 20:54, Reply)