We have a guy who comes to the office to sell stamps
he is balding, smelly and ugly.

somehow he makes a living selling stamps and seems to hold the reception ladies in the palm of his hand.

Based on this evidence, and his laugh, I know for a fact that he is Satan.

He creeps me out.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:23, 18 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mug him
Stamps are very valuable in relation to their size/weight, easy to dispose of, and not individually numbered like banknotes, so they're a good choice of thing to steal.

Just so you know, like.
(username1, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Username
I still have no idea who you are *sads*

Maybe you should send this guy an anonymous present of a bar of soap, a toupee and a guy fawkes mask. Then all three problems are solved.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:27, Reply)

my colleague and I have just decided that to murder him is our only recourse
so we'll half-inch the stamps while we're at it.

VC: I prefer more direct action. Also, I am a horrible bastard, so sending people presents doesn't do it for me.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:28, Reply)

He is Jack Nicholson. AICMFP
.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:28, Reply)

BGB
if only that were true...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Jack Nicholson?!
That's the best guess so far, but still wrong.

By about 40 years and a couple of thousand miles.
(username1, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:29, Reply)

@username1
Not you.....the bald, smelly and ugly guy.
( girlinthehole, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Beat him to death with a franking machine
the ironing will be delicious
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Colonel
we don't have one

and ironing?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:35, Reply)

Kill him
then post him somewhere with all of his stamps
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:36, Reply)

hmm
maybe you should shove in into royal mail :)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Well get in a franking machine salesman and have him fight to the death
with the stamp seller.

(I always say "ironing" when I mean "irony", because yes, I am THAT funny).
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:38, Reply)

I'm with becky
but judging from recent posts I fear he would end up in the sorting office, never to be reclaimed.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Djtrialprice
why?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:40, Reply)

because the one I was drinking
went over my screen
( djtrialprice, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:48, Reply)

pfft too bad
didn't anyone ever tell you to not drink and b3ta at the same time?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 11:50, Reply)

Haha!
It's a good phrase.
I sanction this usage :p
( Cawl, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:02, Reply)

Haha!
Bill has adopted "The Power Of Science" for common usage from me.
( Cawl, Thu 23 Apr 2009, 12:11, Reply)