Bert's obviously
been annoying people on CraigsList as well
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:20, 38 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

*belms*
Legless posted this AAAAAGES ago.

Twice.

You bum nugget.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Well I don't read
any of anyones posts but my own. And obviously yours just there so I can ask why you haven't done the world a favour and rotted in a dark damp corner somewhere yet?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I first saw that on Usenet
nearly twenty years ago. Truly there is nothing new under the sun.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Well we're not all massively
old like you and sit around reading everything on the internet ever.

*sulks*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:25, Reply)

But Legless is legendary
he's been on the QOtW Best page more times than you've had cocks in your colon.

I haven't left yet because I'm deeply, hopelessly in love with you, and until our genitals are united in a romantic bout of fluid exchange I will never know true happiness
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:25, Reply)

I've never seen thing
/favourites

/chuckles

luff you really bert!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:28, Reply)

Eh?
Can I have a translation please? I don't understand anything you just said, VC.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:29, Reply)

It's still funny TGB
And well worth bringing to the attention of the newer internet generations
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:30, Reply)

That it is, TLiC
but I'm sure Legless posted it quite recently.

EDIT there you go, back in December: www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post326643
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Hmm
am I willing to sacrific my worth and self dignity to sleep with Bert so he fucks off thus giving a massive public service to all of b3tankind? It's a tough one.

thanks LiC :P
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Oh, TGB
If you do, you'll make me the happiest man on earth.

Actually, I was considering this earlier; I got on the Best page of QOTW a few times, and then got bored with it and left, I got on the /talk popular page a few times, then got bored with it and left.

If OT gets a popular page, I'll probably get bored with it and leave.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:36, Reply)

If OT gets a popular page
I doubt you'll get on it as no one likes you
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:38, Reply)

EVERYBODY loves Bertie.
I'm adored, when I left there was a public outcry, people were sobbing in the streets.

An OT popular page would be littered with nothing but my posts, and you're just jealous because you know it's true.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:39, Reply)

I'm not adored, when I left there was a public outcryparty, people were sobbingdancing in the streets.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Bert
I forgot the word "That" as in - "I've never seen that thing before"

And I was NOT sobbing in the streets. only into my pillow at home. rocking. back and forth. I have abandonment issues.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Awww....
I'd never leave you, VC. You're fast becoming one of my favourite B3tans even though you scare me alot

EDIT very witty TGB, well done. How long did it take you to come up with that?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Aww c'mon...
Why can't we all get along?

*starts whistling "Ebony & Ivory"*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:47, Reply)

PJM
just sit back and enjoy it, there aren't any hard feelings between TGB and I (except in my pants), she just wants to play.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:48, Reply)

About as long as you'd last during sex
so well under 30 seconds
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Ahahahaha!
Unfortunately, my circumcised, minute penis has the opposite problem.

How many sailors have gotten lost in your cavernous bermuda triangle?
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:50, Reply)

two sailers and a pirate
They're hoping I'll bag another one soon so they can hold poker nights
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:52, Reply)

More like
Go fish, what with your standards of hygiene
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I'm not that scary bert - am I?
Maybe a little overly friendly and definitely filthy minded though.

And if that wasn't enough - my incisors aren't sharp enough for me to drain your neck with. yet.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Don't say things like that
Vampires do it for me in an obscenely filthy way, even that one in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen makes me ding-dong go bwoing!

You scare me with your sexual suggestiveness and overt nubility.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:58, Reply)

TGP
this is gold, i don't care if you and bert are having a full on war it's fucking funny! (hopes you are alright) x
(ppd, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Dammit ppd
I was going to openly declare war on TGB in a new thread, but you've ruined it now.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:01, Reply)

I'm good thanks :)
Apart from the fact that I think I can smell Bert's rancid cheesy cock from here
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Bert
you will loose...Badger's become very angry if poked by strange men
(ppd, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Cheese on a stick is my kind of hell
why don't you take a nice long shower
(ppd, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Bertie - I did say "Yet"
I'll sharpen them for you.

/slowly files to sharp points and grins wickedly
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:07, Reply)

Bert
You're not the only one with the horn for vampires. Hubba hubba!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:09, Reply)

I'm wondering something...
If VC is one of Bert's favourite b3tans, does that make her the antithesis of me?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:10, Reply)

fucking hell
the vampires from what was it... Van Helsing? Something else I can't remember the name of? fuck me. that was good material for the lady wank bank.

And catherine zeta jones in skin tight leather and a corset... oh my god.

/shuffles off to the ladies room.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:14, Reply)

I agree with
VC.

Something alluring about a girl with good teeth.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:23, Reply)

mmmmmmm
Christ. They were good looking vampires. I never masturbated over them though*. Nope. Not once.


may be a blatant lie*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 14:25, Reply)

Tell the truth folks
It was the skin-tight clothes that did it wasn't it. Just remember 'Disco Minge'!

Me, I'd rather find out what's under them.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 15:28, Reply)

oh shit yeah
I'd love to find out what's under them but the .. fuckng hell *lost capability to coherently talk*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 29 Apr 2009, 15:32, Reply)

You have to
Make them shower first though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 29 Apr 2009, 15:47, Reply)