Wake up you yobbos!
I'm bored.

I'm writing an erotica. Deciding whether or not to post whence done. Will not post unless you want it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:10, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Mornin' Chuck
Out of shower, in clothes, about to have a brew and a tab then go to work.

How are you, my dear?

I wonder where the third member of the Sunday morning triumverate is?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:22, Reply)

I know!
I've been missing mr Blair. I do enjoy our threesomes.

I'm well thanks am turning myself on occupying myself by writing an erotica. First time in a while. It's harder (narf) then I remember.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:23, Reply)

ahem...
lubed up and ready to go? here i come...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:23, Reply)

hahahah
gotta love it.
*lubes up*

did you remember the johnnies this time baz?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:24, Reply)

i thought we could improvise...
with this here crisp packet. i'll just finish the crisps first (or maybe leave them in, for your pleasure?). td, you will need to rinse it out after i'm done filling it, or maybe not depending on your preference...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:27, Reply)

*sighs*
just as well I remembered the clingfilm innit?

go on then. Wrap yourselves up.

*hugs TD and Blair for just slightly too long*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:28, Reply)

i can actually only manage a quicky this morning ;-(
cos of person delivery duties.

hope i don't dissapoint LOL

edit: and i'm sticking with the crisp packet. TD can have the clingfilm (or should that be sarran wrap?)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:28, Reply)

am terribly disappointed baz
I can never enjoy a sunday morning romp with you ever again.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:29, Reply)

only joking, it's actually the plastic bag from inside a packet of
Rice Crispies!
LOL LOL LOL
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:31, Reply)

What flavour crisps?
This is important.

Actually I'd be needing the outer bag of a family bumper-sized multi-bag.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:34, Reply)

Where has TD snuck off to?
i'll hae tae ga awah in a wee minnit, dinnae want tae leave the wee lassie on her aen in here...

edit: aaah, there he is...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:35, Reply)

now this worries me
I'm not a big lass and the way you're talking your selves up makes me have teh fear.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:36, Reply)

Threesomes in the morning.
How decadent.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:36, Reply)

Don't panic our lad
Been brewing up, having a Rothmans in the sun and making my butties.

Back now for about 20 mins before I go and find what horrors await my professional (!) attention today.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:37, Reply)

Blousie!
want to join in and make it an orgy?

/enhuggles.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:37, Reply)

morning bgb
you can take over from me, i'm off.
don't do any permanent damage...

and yeah, our 3somes are a regular sunday thing. however, this morning it's all gone a bit dodgy (but in a good way)

adios amoebas, off to work

hugs and such

Bx
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:39, Reply)

Normall I would oblige but I'm off out soon.
When the going gets tough......the tough go shopping.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:39, Reply)

Blimey!
Someone else is up and itching to get into our Sunday morning romps.

VC - I need the big bag to put over my head. I already have the hoover flex, the tangerine and the door handle.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:40, Reply)

Morning all
Just had a mug of tea and a bowl of cereal and now sitting here, robe recklessly thrown open, catching up on OT.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:40, Reply)

light
that was a mental image that in my currently overactive imagination - i'm not quite sure I wanted.

how are you?
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:44, Reply)

Goodness gracious
We'll have Max Mosely joining in shortly, and the News of the World peering in through the grubby windows.

Can't an antipodean teenager, a Cumbrian plumber and a lugubrious Bradford warehouse manager enjoy on-line-sexy-time in peace?

What's the world coming to?
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:44, Reply)

Morning my oversexed chaps and chapessess
Aside from the inevitable quandry of who get a wet patch which is 50% larger than normal, how be tricks?

I've not had a ciggy in nearly a week now and the worst part is that I'd happily murder a village full of orphans, pokemon & LOLcats just for a cheeky drag on one ........ *sits masturbating furiously in the corner over an empty packet of JPS*
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:45, Reply)

You love it
I'm very well - not entirely rested thanks to cat being exceptionally stupid, but otherwise okay.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:46, Reply)

Nope!
Right folks I'm off to Manchester to buy something I neither want or need.

Have fun.
( girlinthehole, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:47, Reply)

Must be the morning for it tlic
Ours was spazzing out like nobodies business and then chirrupping next to my head before running off like Linford Christie for a lap of the house.

Edit, Enjoy Mancland BGB
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:48, Reply)

TD
exactly my sentiments.

Hi spunkychunks. good effort with the ciggies.

Light - you are a bad bad man.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:48, Reply)

Spunky
Time to face the ugly truth - you didn't smoke because you wanted to, or you enjoyed it, or any of those rationalisations - you smoked because you had no choice.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:50, Reply)

I smoke
Therefore I am.

My rationale for having two or three tabs at breakfast time is that by putting my lungs into deep shock I get my heart going.

If that didn't happen I'd have positive proof that I'd died during the night.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:53, Reply)

Yes Spunky
mine was poking me in the face and meowing and drooling on me at 5am this morning. But I knew the litter tray was clean and there was food out. Finally I get out of bed and the cat rushes to where the food is.

"See? See? I'm starving! I need - oh wait, never mind. OM NOM NOM"

Rather than go ten feet and check for food she bugged me for an hour. Argh!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:54, Reply)

ahahah light
my cat does that too. *snorts tea all over laptop*
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 8:56, Reply)

I know, I quit drinking Sun - Thursday
and that didn't bother me too much. The fags! Oy, it's like someone asked me to give up oxygen, shagging and food all in one go.

Just had a look at my garden which looks fucking mint after the work I did on it yesterday .... Had a heavy but brief shower of rain at abou 0530 and it's made it all shiny.

Edit: Yep - Mine's that daft as well. Stoopid cat.

So, What plans for today apart from online fluid swapping?
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 3 May 2009, 8:57, Reply)

OK Chillun'
Work time for me.

Have whatever you praise most highly as fun, y'all.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:02, Reply)

I am so awesome - I get to
do fuck all.

:(
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 9:03, Reply)

I have a pub lunch planned for later
around that I need to do some laundry and some shopping.

I don't think I could give up booze Sun-Thu, I have recently switched to a slightly healthier regime of 2 glasses of wine a night in that period, as recommended by doctors.

Remember kids, the government recommended units/week of alcohol have no scientific basis. It's just an arbitrary number pulled out of someone's arse.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:09, Reply)

light
I can't handle one unit of alcohol - much less two.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 9:13, Reply)

Pub lunch sounds ftw
I know what you mean about the arbitrary figure of booze - It's amazing though how much of a difference it can make.

Might have to consider a pub lunch as we're off to friends this afternoon. First though, tea and toats.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:16, Reply)

VC
It's like exercise - regular practice means you can do more and more.

Until you reach the point where the first bottle of vodka is just to prime your system for some real drinking, then you should probably cut back.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:17, Reply)

ahaha light
have tried drinking before. It just does not agree with my system. I can have small amounts occasionally but anything more then 2 glasses of wine and I'm kinda unconscious...
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 9:20, Reply)

Dr Chains recommends
a glass of wine before bed every night.

It's good for the heart!

Or be consigned to a lifetime of designated driver status.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Mornin'
@VeeCee: Go on. Post your Erotica. You know you want to. We've not had any decent Erotica here on OT for some time!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 3 May 2009, 9:31, Reply)

would if it were finished
have been distracted by someone.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

.
I'm tempted to write and post some erotica myself, but it's a fantasy about one of my female friends. I keep wondering if I should introduce her to b3ta, and if I post the story and I introduce her, she might stumble across it.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 3 May 2009, 10:07, Reply)

probably not the best to do either
if she knew you were a b3tan she may well run a mile. I wouldn't tell anybody I know about this site. haha.
(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 May 2009, 10:10, Reply)

.
@VeeCee: I'm always reluctant to show my non-b3ta friends my b3ta profile coz I've revealed toomany intimate and embarrassing secrets. But that's what I like about b3ta - it creates an excellent opportunity to share these secrets - sort of like hardcore group-therapy.

@Spunky: Congrats on giving up smoking. Just hang in there and you'll pull through. Here's a top tip just in case you need one.

Anyway, I've just had my shower and will put on some clothes shortly. Then I can safely open my curtains.

EDIT: Gah! I've b0rked the thread!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Sun 3 May 2009, 10:39, Reply)