So, grooming products...
I keep seeing Nivea for Men adverts. Ugh.

I've always been a bit skeptical that moisturising and grooming products make any fundamental or long-term difference to the aging or appearance of your skin. Can these products really do a better job than a few million years of evolution is doing?

I'd like to hear your opinion, boys and girls.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:05, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I resent my skin.
I'm not male but have horrible teenage skin.

Plus chicken pox scars.
/curses genetic gift of acne!
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 15 May 2009, 9:09, Reply)

I have pox scars
I wouldn't be the same without them.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:11, Reply)

I caught it very late
only two years ago. Fucking agony. When I went to the doc's she said it was one of the worst cases of teen onset chicken pox she'd ever seen.

I have a massive pink raised pox scar on my left shoulder blade. It looks like a cigarette burn.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 15 May 2009, 9:13, Reply)

I've a lovely mix
of chickenpox and acne scars all across my back and shoulders.

Sexy, I'm bringin' it ...
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:54, Reply)

Onely one has been scientifically proven
It's the Boots anti-aging stuff, it does slow down wrinkles and things. I'd reommend a good mosituriser though. I have horribly dry skin on my cheeks from shaving, and moisturiser really works well with stopping the itching.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:16, Reply)

I'd like to see this 'science'
Told you I was skeptical :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:18, Reply)

I'll try and find it
It was done for a Panarama investigation as as far as I'm aware was completly independent of any company. From what I remember it works differently for different people
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:27, Reply)

It's not that I don't believe you
I'm just being obtuse :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Turns You Gay

Fact.


Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Now that HAS been scientifically proven.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:26, Reply)

If I put anything on my face after shaving I get spots.
but it's probably all nonsense anyway.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:30, Reply)

The best advice for good skin
is to stay out of the sun, don't smoke, don't drink too much and get lots of sleep.

Oh, and inherit good genes.

Easy really.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Hmmm...
I stay out of the sun...
What do I get for one outta four?
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:37, Reply)

Ricketts

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:50, Reply)

Fuck.
That's great, that is.
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Just tellin' it how it is, sonny Jim.
Just tellin' it how it is.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:09, Reply)

I dream of getting lots of sleep (pfft)
I doubt I have ever slept 8 continuous hours in my life
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:40, Reply)

I don't bother with this shit.
But then again, I'm not particularly worried about wrinkles or any of that.
What with not being old.
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:37, Reply)

After shaving
I've got a soothing balm that's scented the same as my cologne, but if I hadn't got those for christmas I'd still be using aftershave.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:37, Reply)

I use
E45 or Aqueous cream when I have dry skin. Does the job without leaving me smelling like a whore's boudoir.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:43, Reply)

You smell like one anyway :p

( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I smell of awesome
and hairspray.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:45, Reply)

...
awesome and hairspray

Sex and Pedigree Chum.
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Mmmmm, sexy!

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:51, Reply)

God, I wish!
*sighs and stares forlornly at all the happy dogs playing in the park*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Awh...
I tell you what though, that Great Dane is gonna get it, hard.
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:55, Reply)

You're damn right
Add that beagle into the mix and we've got ourselves a party!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Be careful though
what with Kaol's rickets he might break under the weight of a large dog.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Oh dammit,
This has reminded me of the dog-story:

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post415197
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Grooming Products?
You mean soap, right?

I use a moisturiser on the my hands otherwise they get horribly cracked and start oozing blood eventually. Which is great for scaring kids but a bit of an embuggerance for me. I only use the stuff that's formulated for well 'ard Norwegian trawlermen though. None of this poncey Nivea shit.
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Damn
I've just realised I use Dove soap.

IT HAS BEGUN!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I want to see a Dove advert
With blokes showing their beer guts, hairy shoulders, pigeon chests, etc.
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Stop it
You're making me hot.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:04, Reply)

Do you want to
sit on my knobbly knee?
(I Was a Teenage Spaceship, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:05, Reply)

*pre-cums*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Mine doesn't do that :(

( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:10, Reply)

You can have some of mine

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Er...
I'll pass. Thanks all the same though.
( Cawl, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:19, Reply)

The Norwegian stuff is great
I think they do face cream too - works a treat in winter to stop getting chapped cheeks.

Works on your face too.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:52, Reply)

Boom boom
Really, though, does it offer you eternal youth delayed aging or just smooth skin?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Mostly it's just smooth skin
Gret for stroking though while you're thinking.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:06, Reply)

So am I right in thinking
that it's more about self-image and self-esteem than making your skin look better to other people?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:09, Reply)

To make your skin look perfect
you need Photoshop.

Or embalming fluid.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Luckily, I have both!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Can you lend me some?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Embalming fluid!
Great for cocktails. Particularly if it's used - after filtering the lumps out you get a great meaty taste.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:24, Reply)

I feel hungry now
Can someone mix some pre-cum into it?




have I gone too far?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:32, Reply)

On the ragged edge
Woo!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Yay!
Now I'll crack a few Maddie jokes and I'll be made!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Pre-cum?
I don;t think I can do that...
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

I notice
noone's going 'Oh yeah, you should really try that Pro-Emptine G6 shit Andie MacDowell uses, it really works!'

Curious.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Just because she has a boys name
Doesn't mean she knows the right kind of men's moisturiser to use.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:00, Reply)

She was pretty in Groundhog Day
Now she looks like one of those Real Dolls from the internet.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:05, Reply)

And what about bloody Kylie?!
She used to look gorgeous and then recently she's had fat implants put in her face, now she looks like she's got mumps.

Daft cow.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:13, Reply)

Men with soft skin FTW!
Stop pretending you're tough and put some bloody moisturizer on.
( girlinthehole, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:24, Reply)

I *know* I'm going to regret asking this,
...but why has chickenlady got embalming fluid?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:25, Reply)

No3l gave it to me
I asked.

It's good for the skin. Keeps it looking peachy and not all dry and dessicated and dead.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I can't imagine what she'll use it for.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:35, Reply)

Obviously it's for keeping certain b3tans looking good
You know...the one I've got hidden at my place.

Yep.


I'm holding Bert prisoner.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:39, Reply)

I KNEW IT!
This explains the black mask and burglers jumper I found in the dustbin
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:41, Reply)

They're not mine
I make PJM wear them.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:45, Reply)

I wondered what'd happened to him
Have you got a large supply of Jammie Dodgers and J17 magazines to keep him amused?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:43, Reply)

Strangely enough
in my loft I have the first 200 issues of J17 from when it came out - the first edition was issued with Smash Hits.

He's currently wanking himself dry on those.

I'll let him have a jammy dodger later if he's good.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Tell him
it's the same without him.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Oh! He's calling out - must have found the Bananarama full page spread.
I'd better go and clear up.

See you soon.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Mmmm
Bananas.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:49, Reply)

*cough*
Bananarama

www.80smusiclyrics.com/artists/images/bananarama_50.jpg

Now must go clean up.

Ta-ta!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:54, Reply)

I remember who Bananarama are!
I remember T'Pau, you know.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 15 May 2009, 11:03, Reply)

I saw them in concert
at University. Awesome.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 May 2009, 11:13, Reply)

*suddenly overwhelmed by teen memory*
Of the video to "Venus". Mmm.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 15 May 2009, 10:54, Reply)