Wedding bash postponed
Looks like we'll be postponing the CHCB-Captain V wedding as I have the small matter of giving birth in July to attend to, all being well.

Er, surprise!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:32, 76 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I don't know you really
But ooh, congrats!
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:33, Reply)

did it surprise you?
christ, if your resolve has crumbled then what hope do I have?

also, congratulations :-)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:35, Reply)

Well, we're young and in love.
Well, he's young. And I'm not getting any younger.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:38, Reply)

damn you and your loved-up-ness
causing cracks in my manly facade
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:39, Reply)

NO WAY!
Oh my goodness, congratulations!
A little Catfaceceildhbabe!

I really couldn't imagine you 'succumbing' to pregnancy. Will you use a host mother when it gets cumbersome? Just kidding, aaaaahh.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:37, Reply)

It's cumbersome already
- Christmas without booze and cheeses. NO DECENT CHEESES, Jesus.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:47, Reply)

I dunno how you managed to keep zip, AND refrain from booze.
The odd glass of red wine won't do bab no harm...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:54, Reply)

Yeah, I had a small glass of pinot noir on New Year's Eve.
I have never savoured wine more in my whole life.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:56, Reply)

It'll have nice rosy cheeks!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)

Why no cheese?
I've never heard that pregnant women couldn't eat cheese?? (Or is this something specific to you and therefore private).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:43, Reply)

You're not allowed unpasturised milk
which a lot of nice cheese is made from.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:43, Reply)

Hard cheeses are okay
but soft cheeses with rind could harbour listeria so are advised against. Listeriosis is pretty rare but hysteria prevails (also, it's serious if you do get it). Pregnant women in Spain are advised not to eat salad because it's a similar risk.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:46, Reply)

We should have been arrested
for child endangerment as my wife ate a lot of cheese (all types) when pregant with both daughters. Hmm, this may explain why they are both the way they are..... (It couldn't be due to anything we as parents did).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:49, Reply)

Salad too...
Oh God we are terrible parents!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:50, Reply)

Congrats!
Quitter.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:38, Reply)

my main pregnancy craving has been for red wine.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Also, just seen your sig -
whaddya mean you're missing the '97 barolo??!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:56, Reply)

it was in Dublin
when it should have been in Limerick.

It's still there for the foreseeable future too as I have no plans to travel up.

Gr. German inefficiency...
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Unlucky lad
I fucking ADORE Barolo.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

As do we all
Those of us with taste, anyway.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Yup!
tis pure nectar... Nebbiolo does the job well enough and all if it's aged enough.
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 15:25, Reply)

Blimey.
A mini-mini Catface in the offing.

*Hands microscope*

*edit* Congrats - hope it gopes smoothly.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:40, Reply)

Congrats
I hope minicatface has his lovely soft hair and your smarts or I can imagine kittenface getting stuck in the VCR, drinking wallpaper paste and generally being a mong like his dad.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:52, Reply)

Thanks everyone.
Also, don't buy shares in Durex.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:54, Reply)

abort/retry/fail

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:56, Reply)

Has 'retry' _ever_ worked, when you get those options?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:56, Reply)

only if it's a read error and you wipe the CD

(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:01, Reply)

all of the above.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:57, Reply)

congratulations by the way.
I hope your child isn't tainted by the out of wedlock sin that brought it into the world.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:04, Reply)

And I shall name it Satan.
Maybe spell it "Saytin" to be, y'know, unique and original.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Be sure to give it the middle name beckham,
so he'll seem all sophisticated and that.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)

I'll give you a hundred quid if you give it the middle name of catface.

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Hmmmm.
Bidding is opened at £100.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:08, Reply)

I wonder if they'd allow 'Give my child the middle name of your choice' on ebay?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:21, Reply)

I will try to find out in 6 months time.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Congratulations!
Now I can check out babies clothing again without feeling like I'm a weirdo.

Did you know you can get wet look leggings for babies. I kid you not.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:57, Reply)

And heels which freaks me out

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:58, Reply)

I hope it's a boy. And we'll dress him like that.
And call him Bowie.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:59, Reply)

*narrows eyes*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:00, Reply)

you wouldn't punch a poor defenceless baby, would you Monty?
WOULD YOU?
I bet you fucking would - o! will no one think of the children?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:02, Reply)

A baby called Bowie, I most certainly would.
I would punch and punch until I could punch no more.

Then I would begin to kick.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:30, Reply)

That is sick
as in 'disgusting' and wicked, as in 'evil'.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:59, Reply)

Just a little note, don't tell people that on your first date.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:03, Reply)

Don't tell them what?
That I'm a wierdo?
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:05, Reply)

That you get wet looking at leggings for babys.
It might be a bit off-putting.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:07, Reply)

Pfft!

( girlinthehole, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Oh my.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:16, Reply)

oh, oh my, I totally read that wrong.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:18, Reply)

My heartiest congratulations to you both!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 12:59, Reply)

I like to see when babys are due, go back 9 months, and find out what people got jiggy to.
It's october at somepoint, so I'm going to say you two got jiggy to one of the following songs.

Cheryl Cole - Fight For This Love
Alexandra Burke ft Flo Rida - Bad Boys
Chipmunk - Oopsy Daisy
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:02, Reply)

Close, but I think it was that Oasis one

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:04, Reply)

I've heard of them, they did this song called 'Wonderwall', my mate Dave said he would teach me the cords.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:06, Reply)

Congrats!

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:08, Reply)

Many congratu-ma-lations to you both!
Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse though? 'Look for CHCB bearing child...'
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Hurrah!
Bash cancelled = more attention for my 30th ;P

Oh, also congratulations on your confinement and stuff.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:09, Reply)

Woah
Turning 30 is way scarier than babies.
I jest. It was fun.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:19, Reply)

Giving birth is fun?
Not what I've heard.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:29, Reply)

turning 30 ya dick!
I have never made or housed babies.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:59, Reply)

Congratulations internet strangers.
May the little bastard bring you an adulthood of smiles and surprises.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:17, Reply)

Hurray!
Once again, if it wasn't for me then you wouldn't be pregnant, so I'm sorry you aren't able to have wine or cheese. ;)

Congratulations to you both!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)

This sounds like an episode of Jeremy Kyle in the making.
Nonetheless, it is all your fault, so thank you.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:20, Reply)

Haha
I don't want to be called scum by Jeremy Kyle, nor do I want a lie detector test. So you two will just have to remain in joyful bliss, won't you?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:23, Reply)

Congrats!
*imagines an episode of B3ta Babies, like Muppet Babies but much filthier*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:32, Reply)

What's got into you?
Oh and congratulations to you all.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:33, Reply)

A cock.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:40, Reply)

Sperm in her vagina obviously.
Call yourself a doctor. harumph.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 13:41, Reply)

How spiffing.
But that's what you get when you don't kick the tin away when the stones begin to rattle.

Have a totally uneventful confinement. Please.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:00, Reply)

Best news all year, so far!
Hooray!!!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:16, Reply)

Hypocrite
www.b3ta.com/questions/bastardcolleagues/post116090

Seriously though, all the best.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

It isn't children I dislike,
it's parents. Should I become one of those parents I will quite happily forfeit my right to breathe.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Ditto, I aim not to be like these folks.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:29, Reply)

The mother of my daughter
genuinely couldn't understand why, when our little'un screamed and cried for an entire Greece-London flight, I was grovelling to the woman next to us and the surrounding poor bastards who also had to endure it.

'It's what babies do' she said. Technically correct, but eh? It was a fucking horrendous, seemingly-neverending torment for the poor sods. I WAS sorry they had to hear it. I was fucking sorry I had to.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I hear you on that, my missus does it too and tuts at people who get irritated.
I once quoted Mister Garrison loudly so everyone around could hear "You tolerate a crying child, it doesn't mean it can't piss you off!"

She also shows off our daughter when shes doing something clever but as soon as shes playing up she says "can't you do something about your daughter!"
( Peej, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Bloody norah!
Congratulations to the both of you!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 15:05, Reply)

Congratumalations miss

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Awesome!
congratulations!
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Tue 5 Jan 2010, 18:17, Reply)