I'd like to call a moratorium...
...on all mention of politics today. Please don't take this personally; I just came very close to destroying my radio this morning in a fit of impotent anger at the endless fucking drone of "political commentators" (read: twats from newspapers) speculating on what Smug Eton Boycunt, Bolshy Scottish Trollcunt or Who-the-hell-is-he-againcunt might do next. IF YOU REALLY GIVE THAT MUCH OF A FUCK, STOP FLOATING FUCKING DAFT UNSUBSTANTIATED IDEAS AROUND THE AIRWAVES AND GO AND FUCKING ASK THEM. GRRR!

If you are unfortunate enough to have been denied the chance to vote, well, I'm in two minds about this; yes, it probably indicates that things were badly organised in some areas. On the other hand, if you turned up to vote at 9.30pm, then I have about as much sympathy for you as the pillock who grumbles that he didn't get served even though he only turned up as the last orders bell was rung. (If you are a student and turned up to vote at 9.30pm then what the fuck were you doing all day?)

Now someone go away and fix the politics for me. All hail the impending President Roota and if anyone dares to bring any fucking politics in this thread, I'VE STILL GOT THE ITCHY MARROW.


(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:16, 81 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Oh shut up, elections don't happen every day we can talk about whatever we want.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:19, Reply)

I, for example, like breasts.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)

Take it to /qotw

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:23, Reply)

You're not the boss of me, Chompy.
Besides, I'm on the internet. I've never seen a real boob.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

Flim makes you wear the gimp mask doesn't she?

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:28, Reply)

No Comment.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:30, Reply)

Yes, but people have been talking about it for weeks
I thought at least today we had a hope of an end to all the endless vapid speculation about the next government, and now it looks like it's just set to drag on and on.

Not that any of that's going to stop you talking about whatever you want, as you rightly point out.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:21, Reply)

It's important, and interesting.
The problem is that we're not going to get any proper information about any of it, just speculation for the next 12ish hours.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:24, Reply)

That's what's annoying me.
Believe me, I'd dearly love to hear some proper information, but I'm afraid my normally quite expansive patience is rather thin on the ground this morning. If I didn't have things to do today I'd seriously consider going and sitting in a cave for the next 12ish hours.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:27, Reply)

*dances around singing*
POLITICS! POLITICS! LOVELY, SHINY, POLITICS!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:22, Reply)

*marrows*

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I'm sorry to hear that buddy, get yourself down the clinic and they'll sort you out.
Still, I can't help but feel that calling it "the marrow" is a little ostentatious.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Oh, wookiee,
if you could only see how itchy it is...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Just a word of advice -
Make sure you've trimmed your fingernails, if you scratch a hole in the poor fella it'll take aaaages to heal.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

It's had a hole in the top which doesn't show any signs of healing over
Weeps or suppurates occasionally as well.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Oh dear lord, that sounds monstrous.
I'd suggest immediate amputation.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

I live in a constituency
which is massively Lib Dem, something like 85%. Yes I voted Lib Dem, but can't help but feel I should've stayed in last night and had another cup of tea.

Shit I just realised I've defied to O/P

On another note, IT'S NEARLY THE FUCKING WEEKEND
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

There was an election? Why wasn't it advertised?

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:29, Reply)

At the moment politics and boobs are all I can talk about.
Unless you want to start me off again about my shit love life?
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Boobs are fine with me
Tell me more about yours.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Erm.......
They're handy for catching falling popcorn when I'm at the cinema.
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:36, Reply)

Interesting...
Do you frequently harbour errant confectionery in your cleavage, or just when eating in the dark?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Not frequently no but I am a messy eater.
They're also useful when trying to attract the opposite sex. When my wonderful personality just isn't enough to seal the deal.
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

So you're basically offering well-reputed norks with the possibility of discovering sweet goods in the course of exploring them?
Well, I'm sold.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:06, Reply)

That's how I'm going to describe them from now on.
Thanks.
( girlinthehole, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:08, Reply)

I like popcorn.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Well, there is a positive
in that we definitely have a hung Parliament. Now, about that marrow, does it lean slightly to the left or right?

EDIT Positive in that at least we know the situation, I mean.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I hope it's a well hung Parliament


To the left.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:38, Reply)

My office smells like Tunes menthol sweet things
and I can't figure out why. Who would wear perfume that smells like Tunes?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:35, Reply)

80% of the time, it works every time.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:40, Reply)

60%
QUOTEFAIL
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Is someone drinking weird tea?
A colleague of mine drinks something that smells like those cough candy sweets.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Fucking deviants
I have a friend who drinks liquorice tea. He reckons it's good for his throat. I reckon it's good for freaking out everyone around him.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I might have to try liquorice tea
You know, just experiment the once, what harm can it do?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Someone asked me if I'd like some herbal tea once.
I was pleasantly surprised when I found it was actually quite nice, like.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:49, Reply)

I like green tea on occasion
There, I've said it.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

There's a lass
in my office who drinks dandelion tea. Swears it's good for cleansing and other hippy bollocks and then moans loud and long about how it makes her piss like she's got a hose in her nethers. Well stop drinking the fucking disgusting stuff then!
(berk, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

If she's pissing more than she's drinking
I'd worry
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:51, Reply)

She does look
like she's been slowly oven dried over a period of say, three weeks, but she always has a cup of herbal something or other on the go, so I doubt there's much to worry about. Plus dandelion leaves are quite a strong diuretic. It's the fact that she constantly spouts hippy nonsense and then tells all and sundry at volume about her wee that annoys me.
(berk, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I'm now imagining a hippy woman pissing with a horses cock....
didn't get much sleep last night
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:56, Reply)

lets not start a tea thread or we'll be here all day

However I do hate it when people drink cappacinos in the afternoon or heaven forbid after dinner.

Cappacino is a breakfast drink and only a breakfast drink.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:54, Reply)

ooh get you with your coffee etiquette
I like lattes. When can I drink them?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Between 14:45 and 16:15
Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Never. latte is coffee for people who don't like coffee
Don'r get me started on skinny Lattes.

"I'll have a slice of double fudge choclate cake, a blueberry muffin, one of those mashmallow things and a skinny Latte, I'm watching what I eat"

Yeah we all are love, mainly because what you eat makes you visible from space.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I drink Mochas in the morning at work
Because the espresso machine is shit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I drink mochas all day at work
because everything else in the (free, granted) vending machine tastes like hot water with grit in it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

Our cafe sells nice Costa coffe from a proper machine, gets expensive mind

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:09, Reply)

Free?!
20p a cup here, unless you're a visitor, then you get coffee from the really nice machine. It's a true class divide I tell thee.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:10, Reply)

£2 here!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:11, Reply)

£2?!!
That's robbery, that is!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:13, Reply)

sounds like the machine at one of my old workplaces
nobody EVER touched the tea, cuase it looked (and probably tasted) like it was soggy cardboard
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Herbal/fruit tea always smells really nice
but then tastes like hot dishwater.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:56, Reply)

^^
this, very much so. It's almost like herbal teabags make better pot pourri than actual tea...
(berk, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I like peppermint tea
or camomile and spearmint; the rest leaves me cold.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

I think peppermint tea tastes like hot chewing gum

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:32, Reply)

It could create a peculiar smell
Which might lead people in your office to speculate about what you're drinking and discuss it anonymously on internet forums.

COULD YOU LIVE WITH THAT ON YOUR CONSCIENCE?
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:53, Reply)

You're right
I don't think I can do it. I must think of the consequences.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I'm drinking masala chai at the moment
It's delicious.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:24, Reply)

My car was wet yesterday
on the inside. The driver side footwell was soaking, but the rest of the car was bone dry. It had rained through the night, but I can't see how any rain got in or how only the footwell area was wet.

A most perplexing mystery.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Leaky catheter?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:48, Reply)

Stop taking the piss.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Two drums and a cymbol fall off a cliff

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Badum-TISH!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:54, Reply)

This happned to a friend of mine in the passenger footwell
It was somehow coming through the bulkhead from the engine and was all oily as well.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Definitely just water
And seems to have dried up, but I'll be keeping an eye on it. It's a brand new bloody car as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:53, Reply)

His was an ancient 205
Sun roof maybe/ Mine leaks on one side the the water runs along the rails and drips exactly where my head is when I drive.

I found this out on my way to a meeting when i decided to pop in and use a car wash, bastard car.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:55, Reply)

pahahahahaha

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Thanks for your support
it looked like my back had pissed itself.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

No sun roof.
We've had far heavier rain than we had the other night and it hasn't been affected. Can't see any evidence of where it might have come from so hopefully it's a one-off freak occurence.

/hopes.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 7 May 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Mine did that once
it was the foam casing stuff around the door edge that was coming away and so when it rained heavily it all ran down the window and down the plasticy inside door bit and pooled on the carpet, the door interior dried so just the carpet was sopping wet, it took me ages to figure it out.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I had that problem (among numerous others) with my Laguna
Where it was parked outside the house, the ground sloped slightly to the left. So when it rained, the water coming out of the drain holes in the driver's door flowed into the car instead of out onto the sill.

Poor design - it should have been made such that the hole was actually outside the sill rather than right on top of it.

It's also possible that the leak is coming in from the bulkhead, and dripping down under the dashboard into the footwell. It's a bugger to trace leaks.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Try sprinkling cress seeds into the footwell, where they grow best wil be the source of the leak

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:04, Reply)

No
Where they grow best is the place where the water ends up, not where it comes in.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:06, Reply)

It's like CSI:Dundee

( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:07, Reply)

it would still
be better than CSI:Miami with that ginger knob Caruso
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:35, Reply)

Alright Titchmarsh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I have a marrow question
I know they're grown on allotments and entered into village fete competitions, and as such are a quintessentially English vegetable, but who eats them? I've never seen a recipe that calls for marrow. Is it served hot or cold? Whole, sliced or diced?

I suspect they are quietly binned at the end of the Harvest Festival.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:22, Reply)

DarthFoxtrot uses the entire years crop for bumming purposes

Then Hugh Fearbly-Whittstall makes soup
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I think veggies put them in lasagne

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Fri 7 May 2010, 11:33, Reply)

My late father used to grow marrows
and then make stuffed marrows. Fucking disgusting.
( Peej, Fri 7 May 2010, 12:03, Reply)

I do
when i can find them. Sliced and boiled, pretty bland, but it reminds me of my childhood. It's just a big courgette at the end of the day, and so could be used for much the same things if you wanted.
Edit to add:
the internet quoth "These days, commercial growers have standardized their terminology relating to courgettes, zucchinis and marrows:

Courgettes are the baby fruit of several types of marrow, harvested when they are 14 x 4 cm long, the size of a cigar.

Zucchinis are the fruits of the same plant harvested when they are 15 to 20 cm long.

Marrows are the semi-mature fruits which have reached full size. "
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 7 May 2010, 14:02, Reply)