Snowball effect
Quite a while ago, I engaged in relations with a young lady, both of us not wanting a relationship, well that's what I convinced myself. Nothing really came of it, she disappeared for a bit, and turns out she had a mild nervous breakdown (not my fault) and was living up north.

Anyway, I got a text message randomly from her asking what i was doing the following weekend. I was a bit worried about causing her more mental damage, and also didn't particularly want to see her, so started thinking of an excuse to tell her. Eventually I came up with, what I thought was an absolute gem, I told her that I had been seconded to Dublin with work, all terribly busy, I was back this weekend, but it was to see my son.

So that weekend I passed uneventfully and on the Sunday I picked up a new washing machine and then went to out on a date. Date went ok, came home on my own and walked in and to my housemate sat on the sofa grinning from ear to ear. Low and behold, aforementioned young lady had turned up uninvited and was sat on the sofa. Awesome. There was some awkwardness whilst I secretly relayed to the housemate the lies that I had been spinning.

Said housemate thought it was hilarious as I spent about an hour desperately avoiding her advances, sitting as far away from her as possible and sitting next to my housemate. All very difficult, but she was very keen. In order to fob her off more, I had to spin another yarn, and in an attempt to fend her off, I told her I had started seeing someone in Dublin, and I couldn't possibly.

She was visibly upset by this. I tried to shoo her to her car, but then she decided she couldn't drive, her concentration was amiss from smoking herbal cigarettes. I told her to make herself comfortable on the sofa and gave her a spare duvet and went to bed.

Then just as I was dozing off, my bedroom door opens. She came in announced she was cold, and there was no way she was sleeping on the sofa she might catch hypothermia. Whatever, nothing is going to happen I said. She then got in to bed lay there for a minute or so and then proceeded to strum her lady guitar. In my bed. Whilst I was lying next to her. I ended up telling her to get out, it was out of order, sleep on the sofa or go home. She slept on the sofa, then I had to tell her to leave this morning , I had to get to work.

Moral of the story. Lie your pants off.
(penishands, Mon 16 Aug 2010, 19:33, Reply)