I tell every body that I don't drink any longer and that I'm fine
 
I drink most days. I'm not fine.

I also suspect that I may be having/have had a mental breakdown, but I still tell everybody I'm fine.

I'm holding on to the tail of a dragon in flight and I don't know how to let go because I'm afraid of the fall.
Sooner or later, I'm going to lose my grip. I have no idea what happens then.
(bongo rory twang and boots is my secondary lurking account, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 4:59, 16 replies)

seriously. get some help. see a doctor, tell a friend, ring the Samaritans.
but don't do nothing . I waited for the fall and i'm still fighting my way back up three years later.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 9:35, closed)

Realising this is a good first step
perhaps now is the time to tell someone you're not fine?
(xanthine, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:00, closed)

I totally get this.
You have my sympathies.
( SauronWibble I'll hold it, you lick it..., Wed 18 Aug 2010, 10:35, closed)

ditto
to all the above
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:07, closed)

If you know you're not fine
do something about it. Go to your doctor, or ring the samaritans. Or, as you say, sooner or later there is going to be a mighty shitstorm.
(berk, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 11:23, closed)

Agree with all of the above
Drinking nearly every day doesn't sound too bad to a daily boozer like me but obviously it's the quantity and secrecy that's pertinent here.

Mental Health Care providers form the bulk of my clients. Please feel free to gaz me but first stop has to be your GP.
(Happybara The jungle came alive and took him, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 12:21, closed)

Been there my friend,
Tell somebody. Anybody. The climb after the fall isn't fun. Get help before you fall. xxx
( user_names_suck, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:37, closed)

I drink most days too but yeah if you think you are having a breakdown seek help; don't descend into paranoia etc like I did :/
(SpIrItZ420 If alcohol isn't the answer...fuckit, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 13:58, closed)

kudos
kudos for having the guts to post, even if it's in relative anonymity, I've been in a similar place sadly and it's not a great place, indeed I'm sometimes still there. Feel free to PM me if you want an unfamiliar and impartial ear!

Also, as everyone else has suggested, talk to a professional, even just a visit to the GP
(mr_spongmonkey, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 14:17, closed)

First you have to ask
Is the drink masking your problems, or causing them? Becoming alcohol dependent is remarkably easy, and it self perpetuates. See your GP and be honest, you can Gaz me and be honest, but most important is to be honest with yourself.
( TheSundaeLunch I'm a fucking shrub, alright?, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 15:39, closed)

Dragons are cool

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 16:31, closed)

I still struggle with my addiction; I think that's why they call it recovery.
The lying is a huge part of it; then you realize that you were not such a good liar and people knew all along.

You have admitted it to strangers. Now you need to pluck up the hope to at least join in a group. The first time I walked in the addiction recovery class I was certain everyone was looking at me and just waiting to tell everyone about it.

Now I go and I smile and feel among friends. Where before my days were dark and I wondered "why life" I have a safe place, if only for an hour a week. That's a least one hour I'm not indulging. Then you stretch it out.

Some days are better than others, but I have to force myself to look at how far I've come. Look at it as climbing a spiral staircase, rather than a ladder.

My heart bleeds for you. Hang in there.
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 17:57, closed)

I have been where you are and it is indeed a dark place,but you have made the first step.
Please get some help,talk to a trusted friend,make an appointment with your doctor.
The help you need is there,you just have to have the strength to find it.
(android, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 21:27, closed)

That dragon's going to land sometime
It's up to you whether it comes to a graceful stop or if it smashes into the ground like, well, an enormous falling dragon. Admitting to yourself that you have a problem is one of the best things you can do. The next thing is to talk honestly to someone about it. That could be a friend, a doctor or anyone. You'd be surprised how non-judgemental and understanding they'll be. You'll find that doing this will be an enormous weight off your shoulders and give you some sort of feeling of control.

Believe me, you can land without much of a bump but expect a few aborted approaches during the practising.

If you want someone to talk to then just Gaz me and I can give a few suggestions.
( Fr_Jerry_McGwier looked over both shoulders at, Wed 18 Aug 2010, 23:44, closed)

Let Go.
Sometimes when you fall, you fly...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 10:30, closed)

Only if you are BATMAN!

Nanananananaaaa....
(Roddimus_Prime Should be revising, Thu 19 Aug 2010, 11:05, closed)