Righto, chums
I'm sure these (or at least some of them) have already been done, but whilst these are my gripes I make no claim for exclusivity.

1. People who queue up in, say, supermarkets for considerable lengths of time but are then surprised upon completion of their transaction when it turns out, strangely, that their purse (sorry, it's rarely a wallet) is required. A purse invariably kept right at the bottom of a capacious and poorly-ordered bag. You've stood in the queue for ten minutes - why haven't you thought about how you're going to pay for your shopping, you cretin?

2. Dismal English. The 'Oh, what's the fuss, I know what they're trying to say' brigade are just plain wrong. You would struggle to believe some of the pidgin English CVs I've been sent. Don't get me started on it's/its, lose/loose etc...

3. Sport. Really it's not sport itself that rankles, but the disproportionate amount of time and money the world wastes on what is really just some people playing a fucking game.
Actually I also get annoyed by people who seem to think they are members of a sporting team simply because they support them. 'We won three nil last night'. Really - you seem to be a 20-stone halfwit in a pub - which position do you play?

4. Other people. The idiots.

5. Ken Livingstone's speaking voice. I don't give two hoots about his policies - it's the continual whiny references to 'what Lahndaners want' that get my goat (do please check out my bandwagonning goat reference there, I'm hip, kids!).

6. David Walliams. The fictional moniker 'Walliams' really makes my flesh creep. And he's a turd.

7. Spastics. Actually I just threw that in for a soupcon of controversy. Some of my best friends are - actually, all my friends are spastics, spazmoes and/or Deacons.

*EDIT* this is probably the first of many posts in the QOTW, I'm afraid. Getting frustrated by the idiocies of modern life seems to be something of a hobby of mine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:33, 6 replies)

Touch'e (can't do cyrillic or whatever it is - sorry)
'We won three nil last night'. Really - you seem to be a 20-stone halfwit in a pub - which position do you play?

*Ascertive click*
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:37, closed)

Good work on
Jumping the goat-wagon.
( Cawl, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:37, closed)

someone correct me if I'm wrong
But I think David Walliams was a victim of the Luvvies Union that require you to not have the same name as anyone who's already joined. There was already a David Williams so he changed his own name slightly rather than take on a fake one.
( djtrialprice, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:46, closed)

There's a wagon of goats?
sounds wonderful
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 May 2008, 14:55, closed)

Yup
Due to Equity ruling everyone has to have a different name. It's that much easier to just change one letter.


In agreement with just about everything else, especially sport. I like a good game, but that's because I am also fit enough to play. Number of people trying to ingratiate themselves into the sporting world when they get out of breath walking to the shops gets my goat (see what I did there?).
( Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Fri 2 May 2008, 15:02, closed)

Football is not the only sport
There's hundreds of different ways for people to compete and have fun. So how come this is the only one that's on TV every flaming day of the week?

Playing a game with your mates - great fun.
Watching a live game - could be good.
Watching a live game on TV in the pub with mates - not bad.
Caring about who wins - now that's just fucking retarded. Unless you've got money riding on the outcome.
(Leo Sasquatch hates being the grown-up, Fri 2 May 2008, 16:26, closed)