Just for Pooflake this one....
We are no longer allowed to point out the differences between the colours of Poo and Semen, as drawing any form of comparison between white and brown is now completely frowned upon no-matter what the circumstances.

and just to add the fun..

*giggle* Genitals *giggle*
(Ketzer, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 17:18, 6 replies)

with apologies to jesse jackson...
watch that south park episode, laugh, and relax. good times.
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Thu 22 Nov 2007, 17:17, Reply)

English Government = Sh1t
Not entirely on topic but reading this QOTW made me think. Why is it that we're not allowed to have an opinion but the government/HMRC are allowed to make an unencrypted and non-protected CD containing all the details of 25 million people, loose it and then face absolutely no consequences until the next election??

This country can really be a joke
(Ketzer, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 17:16, 4 replies)

Is it me...?

Or does this week's QOTW not have quite the same fun-loving, madcap frivolity of it's predecessors?

Can somebody do a post about poo, wanking or sexual hijinks please?
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 22 Nov 2007, 17:14, 5 replies)

The World has Gone MAD!!!
*RANT WARNING*

(You've Been Warned)

With every day that passes, I realise yet again the extent to which political correctness has grown and become
a complete joke. The other day in school i was told off for saying turban in
case I "made the Muslim students feel unwelcome in our community". Now I'm sorry but that's just ridiculous.
I reckon that there would be under half as many racist people in
England if it weren't for the other half of England going over the top.

And the cherry on the
top of the proverbial cake is that a group of Asian people at our
school have just gone and beaten up several white lads in a completely unprovoked attack.

Then our entire country
has the nerve to call me a racist for complaining. Something has to change.

*deep breath*

Rant Over



OOOOOOOH!! *pop*

Edit: yes i know i just messed up the layout of the text, so no need to tell me in hundreds of angry replies =P
(Ketzer, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 17:08, 8 replies)

My Local Redkneck Pub
Being from the lovely "Racially Challenged" Gloucestershire, there were very few people of minorities at either of my schools, i say this only so you can appreciate how little the experience of people over 30 years older than me are.

anywho, my local pub The Bell has recently been dragged kicking and screaming into the year 2002 by buying a Touchscreen ITbox, being up my own arse and thinking i'm a genious i often play WordUp. This gives me the opportunity to listen in on many of the wonderful convosations of the Hillbillies.

Bloke 1: "Hey Pete them why you are banned from Tesco's"
Bloke 2: "I was in the fruit and veg aisle and i saw a blackie looking at the banana's, i was stood next to a lassie stocking the shelves and all i said was, I bet he feels at home there, then the police were called. i said to them at least i didn't call him a nig-nog-wig-wam"

to this day i have yet to hear nig-nog-wig-wam said again. i think without the strong west country accent it wouldn't have the same affect.
(Seth, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:57, 1 reply)

I used....
...to work in IT for the NHS transport service. I was installing a new PC at a desk in a hospital waiting area for a new member of staff to use to book out patient transfer appointments.

The new member of staff was starting the day after so I turned up. Installed the machine and went back to the main office.

The day after I got a phone call from the head of HR saying that a complaint had been put in from the new member of staff that I hadn't installed the machine in a politically correct way. Apparently I had put the mouse on the right hand side of the keyboard thus assuming that the person was right handed. I was told I should have put the mouse above the keyboard and in the middle incase the staff 'member' was left handed and then they wouldn't be offended????????????

The worst bit, they were serious. The next worst bit, the person didn't get sacked for putting in such a stupid, stupid complaint.
( Evil Bastardo, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:54, 7 replies)

Fed up with PC? Move to Japan.
After working for 4 months in Tokyo, I've a mind to sue the entire nation for racism. Everyday I was subjected to children pointing, prodding, crying and sometimes running away in sheer terror everytime this pale moon eyed giant boarded the subway.

A million eyes following your every move, literally.

Mind you it got better when they found out I was British. They really hate the yanks. Hate isn't the correct word - I'm sure they have about half a dozen more suitable ones, some probably starting with Coco. Oh dear that didn't sound very PC did it?

I love 'em really. Island race and all that.
( buffet_the_appetite_slayer ٩(●̮̃•)۶ jacked in to the ICE on, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:52, 12 replies)

Teran
I think you'll find fat people are called the 'spherically enhanced'...
( Hampster Squared has stuff at www.tilla.co.uk, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:48, 2 replies)

India
I mentioned to a faux hippie friend that I was holidaying in Bombay. I planned to stay in my girlfriend's relatives house, as they are Indian and they live there.

My friend said "oh that should be fun, but wouldn't you rather stay in Backpacker hostels, so you can get a taste of the real India"?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:45, Reply)

i can't bear racism in any form
but my grandma, being 82, deaf, white and living in halifax is about as racist as it gets.

she is tiny and fluffy haired and looks as if butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. but she announced loudly to a full restaurant the other sunday lunchtime that she had been told off for being racist at the hospital where she goes every friday.

"all i said was PAKI," she boomed offensively, clearly firmly convinced that she was whispering. "i mean, what's wrong with the word PAKI? they are PAKIs!"

good god. and don't get her started on the word gay. "oh it used to be such a lovely word," she whines, completely oblivious to the facts that (i) it was patently obvious that her younger brother was gay as a window; and (ii) her son-in-law, my father, thinks she is a lesbian herself. she does hate men, he may have a point.

i love my grandma but she is barking mad.

still, better than my friend nick's grandma, who refused to buy a watermelon in sainsburys because, and i quote, "you need a mouth like a nigger to get one of those in it."

she was 85. "nigger" was acceptable when she was young, this i can get on board with, can't judge yesterday by today's standards etc. but "to get one of those in it" ?? was she planning to eat the whole fucking thing in one mouthful or something?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:42, 9 replies)

Have you noticed
That part of the liberal intellectual mind set is a senseless romanticizing of ethnic identity where it makes no real difference. There's a guy in our office who listens to some fucking shit from Africa - chanting children playing on instruments made out of tree bark and camel nuts or something. But would he listen to English kids wailing along on homemade instruments? I think not. Because that would be tuneless shit.

Or you might be on holiday in Morocco and see some leathery old fisherman by the sea and think about the wisdom of the elders and how they carry the old knowledge. But would you think the same of some flatulent old git on the bus in Leeds who mutters about Pakis?
(frankspencer, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:37, 3 replies)

Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells
Someone told me that the right wing "its PC gone mad" brigade were all secretly obsessed by homosexuality, and terrified of being outed. Ridiculous!!

Oh hang on...

www.conservapedia.com/Special:Statistics
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:35, 1 reply)

*blood boils*
gets on my tits, this stuff does. here are some of the incidents of PC-ism that i've come up against in my life.

1) 11 years old, told another kid he was "being a shit", only to be told this was racist because he was black. i wasn't calling him a shit because he was black, i was calling him a shit because he was being a shit!

2) year 10 (aged 15), a group of black guys in my year started using "white" as a derogatory adjective. that annoyed me, a lot. it pissed me off that they were allowed to use the word "white" without any kind of comment from the teaching staff, even though if a white student were to say "you're so black" in a derisory way they'd get the bollocking of their life. come on guys, one way or the other, make a choice!

3) my sixth form college. don't get me started on my fucking sixth form college! one of the most racially biased institutions i've ever come into contact with. it's in south-east london, and accordingly the vast majority of students are of mixed african or caribbean descent. it was something like 60% black, 30% white and 10% mixed asians.
there was a clear division between black students and everyone else, that was definitely self imposed by a lot of the black students. there were two cafeterias in the college, one at the front and one at the back. the one at the back was known as café trois, due to it being in it's third refit. the café at the front didn't have a name, but it was referred to as café noir, due to the fact that white people were basically not allowed in there, for fear of getting a kicking. i went into town for my fucking lunch.
fastforward to the end of a-level leavers ball, at a moderately-swanky hotel in south london. a video was played that had been made by the student council, with goodbye messages from various students. there were about 30 talking heads in the video. how many black people? 29. asians? 1. whites? zero. a black member of the senior leadership team said that if she'd seen the video beforehand, she would have had it pulled. it was a piss take.
edit of edit: bugger, probably revealed too much there, could get done for libel...


4) got told off on monday for describing ségolène royale as a moron. for those who don't know, she was one of the lead candidates in the recent french general election. i was then described as a chauvinist. it was assumed that i thought she was a moron because she's a woman. i think she's a moron because she's a moron, with the political sense of a ham sandwich.

seriously, we've gone out the other side! there's been so much thought put into not offending ethnic/religious/cultural minorities that it's become the norm for the majority to be disregarded and discriminated against, certainly where i came from. i hate to sound like i'm in support of the frat-boys in borat, but it's absolutely true that minorities have all the power in terms of discrimination. grargh!

not a racialist or anything, just very, very annoyed by PC and the way that it's gone full circle...

rant over. i have a massive schlong.
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:35, 5 replies)

alan
you are not allowed naked flames on the forecourt.
(suboftheday, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:34, Reply)

Madness indeed...
As far as my own encounters with PC-ness go, I've never really given a flying flip about offending anyone, I treat everyone the same. If you are an immensely nasty, stupid, disabled, fat, dyslexic, lesbian, muslim/hindu/jew/catholic/protestant/CoE, it doesn't change the fact you are nasty and stupid. Sure, simply using a persons sex/race/disability to beat them with is wrong, but actively ignoring the difference is quite simply, fucking insane, and does nothing to further any kind of equality.

The modern approach to children is one of the most troubling "PC gone mad" situations, particularly for parents who don't discipline kids properly, either because they think discipline is synonymous with physical harm, or because their far too well informed darlings will be on the phone to childline, post haste. Teachers are stuck with the same shit, and because the kids come in to school as little bastards, there's very little to be done.

A number of first hand accounts have given me reason to really be amazed by the stupidity of what passes as modern sensibilities.

For example, from my teacher brother:
-Telling children that what they have done is not right, rather than that it is in fact wrong.
-Not using negatively coloured pens to mark work, just in case it makes the child feel bad, rather than letting them know they need to try harder.
-Ensuring kids actually having cause to worry about behaving sexist or racist in primary school, and ending up with a stunted approach to social situations. Of course kids point out differences, but this goes with the territory, standard tribal instinct, differences attract attention, which is dangerous to a tribe.
-Having to gratefully accept the violence from the bat shit crazy little fuckers, without being able to restrain them (thats recently changed thankfully).

No great surprise at the maladjusted little gremlins that are seen at all schools nowadays. If this kind of behaviour is repeated over the atlantic, its hardly surprising that when kids who have never been told "No" or "That's wrong" become adults, that some of them have a tendency to flip out, flip out with weapons that is.

From a currently serving serviceman:
-New recruits while receiving a dressing down from a senior were able to show a coloured sign that meant they were either a) feeling bad and that the senior should ease up or b) were feeling bullied and the senior should stop. These are new recruits being trained to kill and be shot at, that are actively encouraged to passive-aggressively get out of being disciplined. Sheer madness.

God knows if its ever gonna get any better, I doubt it, but to be honest, it does make it much easier to offend people, which as a b3tard does have a certain perverse attraction.
(ShiftyBastard won the World Cup on World Soccer Champs 2010!, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:32, 2 replies)

First post - shame it has to be like this
It's not "mad" to respect other people's beliefs which might happen to be different to yours. Race doesn't matter, and those who suggest otherwise shouldn't live in this country.
( Blazemore Last seen on, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:28, 7 replies)

AIDS pandemic
Apparently, the government and media only care about the AIDS pandemic because of Political Correctness

www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/news/news.html?in_article_id=495515&in_page_id=1770

PC gone mad...

First post, please don't tear my head all the way off
( Panjandrum brought to you by tea and biccies, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:23, 2 replies)

The Alabama three
In Alabama (god bless em) they'd worked out a way of editing swearing from their tvs, by linking into the subtitles which accompany most programs.

Everytime a subtitle trained computer prog (or something, sketchy on the details meh) picked up (e.g.) 'motherfucker' it overdubbed the voice to say mother funster, etc.

All was going swimmingly, but they had had a few problems, the upstanding pillar of the church conceeded, especially with the name of one of their best loved mockeneys, which came out as Jerk van Gay.
(Countryslicker, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:20, Reply)

My dad used to have an old dictionary
The Collins Pocket Gem, as I remember, which was given to him by an old aunt when he was a lad in the 1940s. It had all sorts of things in it which I found amusing, including a section at the back on 'miscellaneous weights and measures' (did you know, for example, that in fisherman-speak a hundred herrings is actually 132 herrings?)

But it also included many words which were seen as acceptable at the time, and which have now either fallen into disuse, or been deemed unacceptable in modern society. Take for example, 'mulatto - the offspring of a white person and a negro'.

But the one which made me laugh most was:

sambo, n, the offspring of a negro and a mulatto hence, humorously, negro.

Humorously?

FFS.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:09, 8 replies)

The thing about these PC gone mad stories
is 90% of them are not true – lies if you will – propagated by a predominatly right wing press. And the ones that do have an element of truth are almost invariably public sector middle management or teachers getting the wrong end of a policy stick and generally fucking up.

Political Correctness attracts people who are a bit thick (cross over into public sector middle management) because it gives them comforting absolutes that they don’t need to think about. It’s the same with ‘health and safety’, green policies etc etc, these all attract unthinking drones who use these ‘absolutes’ as ‘trump cards’ to gain control in situations they don’t have the knowledge or ability to do so any other way.

There is nothing to be gained by engaging an ‘absolutist’ in conversation. Just agree with everything they say and ignore them completely.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:07, 6 replies)

I think you'll find that...
That's "sanity-challenged", not "mad"... tsk, tsk.

(PS: Please don't beat me, deservedly or otherwise)
(misanthrope is so adjective he's verbing nouns!, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:06, 1 reply)

My dad
Is a traditional racist of the old school, always ready with an offensive generalisation. But even he knows it's no longer acceptable to use racist terms in public. So he calls anyone non-white "an ethnic". As in: "There was an ethnic in the supermarket today buying bananas." He thinks this is politically correct.
(frankspencer, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:05, 5 replies)

Poo Pipe Pirate reminds me...
I'm normally quite PC myself - but I tend to frame it in terms of intolerance of lazy thinking. And quite a lot of the PC brigade is guilty of just that.

The story I have in mind here was on the news at about the time that Madonna and Angelina Jolie were playing "adopt-a-darkie" poker ("I see your Cambodian and raise you Malawi!"). Interviewed on the radio was a woman who had adopted a child from overseas.

I don't doubt the mother's sincerity and beneficence when she said that she would, as her daughter grew up, make sure that she was aware of her own culture. But given that the daughter was only a year old at the time, I can't help thinking that "her own culture" would be that of... well... a middle-class Briton. In effect, what this mother was saying was that she intended to bring up her adopted child in such a way as to ensure that that daughter was always aware that she doesn't quite belong, and that skin colour is important.

Fucking Hampstead liberal identity-politics. See - it's lazy thought, not malice, that's the problem.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:03, 6 replies)

PC is the new racism
It is, think about it.

Racism is basicly treating someone different because of they have a different cultural background than you.

Hiring someone because you don't have enough "ethnic minorites" in your company is still hiring someone because of the colour of their skin.

Treat people as people and not a skin colour. No matter which way you go. If you treat someone with different coloured skin different then you're being racist.

(yes I may not know the official definition of Racist but this is just my own humble opnion)
( Crap Little Monkey Deathstar, so good they built it twice, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 16:02, 7 replies)

Gotta love the fact
that the black kid on "South Park" is called Token.

PC might have started off as a way to make us not racist / sexist - this country was fairly bad in the 70s, one only has to think of "Rising Damp" and "Curry and Chips" as examples of it - but surely now the message has hit home; and for the whites amongst us, exposure to people of different skin types shows that they are just as, if not in many cases more so, racist as we are / were.

People should be judged on who they are and what they do - and calling black coffee "coffee without milk in it" , wittering on about "differently abled" and so on just offends everyone bar the Millie Tant imbeciles who think this sort of shit up.

And no, I read the Guardian, not the Daily Mail.

...and breathe...
( I_Was_Mordred, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 15:59, 9 replies)

Years ago, I used to volunteer at a Saturday school
teaching music to deprived children. This was run completely by volunteers, professional musicians and postgrad students who were helping children who otherwise wouldn't have a chance to learn music theory, or an instrument, or even how to read music. In other words, it was A Good Thing.

About 80% of the children were black, the rest a mixture of white, oriental and hispanic. On my very first day, I was taken aside by the director (a young, earnest, well-meaning but ultimately neurotic man, who was paranoid about being accused of racism). "If one of the...darker...children doesn't act the way you want them to" he whispered, "don't tell them off."
Me: "eh? But...this is a school, right? Children come here to (a) learn music, and (b) learn the difference between right and wrong, surely?"
Him: "Yes, but some of the parents might take it the... wrong way... if you tell their children off. Instead, just ignore the wrong-doers until they change their behaviour."

Great. So if a black kid was acting up, instead of saying "oi, stop that and concentrate on learning your music theory", I had to ignore them. Children do not like being ignored - FACT. So they'd start acting up even more. And stil be ignored. It was a vicious circle. The director was naive in the extreme to think that children would behave themselves if ignored, but I didn't say that to him because I really wanted to teach there.

Such was the director's paranoia that parents would accuse his school teachers of being racist, that every single teacher had been told to ignore misbehaving black kids. So, for the 6 months I was there, behaviour got worse and worse, as these poor kids struggled to get a reaction. Some of the older ones were getting particularly bolshy, acting up in front of the younger ones, who saw that they weren't being told off for it, and in turn started to act up themselves. It was a mess, with screaming kids running around, with teachers surrepticiously trying to tell them to sit down and shut up, without the director seeing. Eventually, almost all of our time was spent stopping the smaller kids from running riot, and we didn't even have time to talk to the older kids. I'd had enough and left. The following week, two other teachers did the same. A month after I left, only the director and three other teachers were left (there were originally 8 or so of us). There was no teaching going on at all, the children were missing out, loads of kids thought that the teachers were ignoring them on purpose, the younger ones were following by example and getting ruder and ruder, quite a few children stopped coming to the school because they weren't learning anything...all because one man was paranoid of telling black kids to stop pissing around in class.

There is a happy end. The director eventually left (because of stress), and was replaced by an older man, who had no compunction in telling kids to shut up and listen to him. It took a while for everyone to get used to him, and quite a few older kids stopped coming, now that they didn't have somewhere warm to dick around for a few hours every Saturday. But they were replaced by children who genuinely wanted to learn music. The school is going strong, they have enough teachers, and the children are happy.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 15:57, 1 reply)

I’m feeling a bit sensitive - so I’ve had it with you lot...
I’m off to (insert country name here) where I intend to be a minority, yet insist that their whole constitution changes to accommodate ME!. Wherever I go…I want Christmas Lights up and whatever the weather, I want nobody to laugh at me if I wear a Santa costume.

I also demand they build me a church with their taxpayer’s money (whether I decide to go or not). I will be incredibly offended if anybody mentions the religion of their own country in my presence. In fact, as well as the church, I would like a traditional English pub to be built, draped in flags with football on the big screen and government subsidised beer (despite the alcohol laws of the country I choose).

I insist that whatever school my kids go to, they must have at least a weekly portion of fish and chips – regardless of whether their school friends like it. Come to think of it, I want the entire school curriculum be altered to include English Language, English History and English Religious studies.

I will meanwhile walk straight into whichever top-flight job I choose, because I will be the only white, English, 30-something, able-bodied male there…and I’ll pull the ‘Caucasian card’ if I have to. Woe betide anybody who spots my incompetence at my job – they’ll be out of there like shit through a goose.

Whatever country I go to, I will spend my weekends holding placards in the city centre slagging my new home off, and inciting the English to rise up and suicide bomb the shit out of the place.

In order to find the city centre, every road sign has to be taken down and replaced by one that explains directions in the Queen’s English…preferably on the backdrop of the St Georges flag.

Of course, when it comes to policing, the health service and government benefits. I still expect to be first in the queue…in fact, I want my own queue, and with my own public-funded translator…because they don’t speak English where I’m going.

Every single person in my presence must tread on metaphorical eggshells in conversation to me, and shit their pants at the prospect of accidentally calling reference to beer drinking, Yorkshire pudding, Shakespeare, pale skin or Coventry City Football Club (Well I might let the last one pass…they are shit after all)

So that’s not too much to ask is it? Surely it’s the same all over the world as it is here……..isn’t it?

I’ll start packing…
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Thu 22 Nov 2007, 15:51, 33 replies)

My mum's a child minder.
My mum has gone back to child minding after a year long break.

She just had her yearly inspection to make sure that were not paedophiles and that the house is suibale for children.

My poor mum lost out on quite a few marks because she didn't have enough toys and books reflecting diverse range of cultures and people in society.

This resulted in my mum spending about a 100 quid on black dolls which scare children including black kids, and picture books full of cripples that no one likes reading.

Apparently if children couldn't learn about diffrent cultures and diffrent people at a child minders house where else are they going to learn it?

Well my mum looks after 2 white kids, 2 black kids, a 1/2 Turkish English kid after school. Were asian family and we live London.


What fucktards........
Edited....spelling and grammer, sorry just got off the boat :(
(Poo_Pipe_Pirate, Thu 22 Nov 2007, 15:50, 1 reply)