I've never knowingly met one...
But I still smile at this...

A Spanish friend couldn't understand what the fuss was about when Gordon Brown was caught on tape dissing Gillian Duffy.

"What's wrong with her being a bigger titted women?" she asked.
( e.m.m.y. foxtrot uniform charlie kilo india tango, Thu 7 May 2015, 15:43, 1 reply)

Jim Murphy
went to uni at same time as him .

Cock then

Cock now
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Thu 7 May 2015, 15:04, Reply)

I wiped cat poo on a politician
We have three cats, one of which is a horrible great ginger sod who shits in our garden, on the grass, and makes no attempt to bury it. If I want the kids to play in the garden I have to go out with a roll of plastic bags and pick up all the turds. One of my sons' friends is over, and I was clearing the garden so they could play. Most of the shit went in the bags, but I got some on my hands. It really stank; my wife keeps feeding him cheese which gives him the squirts. Gagging a bit, I finished up and went to wash my hands. Just before I got to the sink the door bell went, so I diverted to the front door, making sure I didn't touch anything. My younger son opened it for me so I wouldn't get any poo on the handle. Standing there was the Liberal Democrat candidate for my area.

My wife is really getting into this election malarky, developing an interest in the process and candidates' policies. Interestingly, it seems there is a (very) remote chance that the Liberal Democrats might oust the Tories here. She did a tweet that she hadn't got a leaflet from the LDs and one of the LD people tweeted back that if she'd like to help deliver leaflets then they would be most grateful. She agreed, so there was the Liberal Democrat candidate on my doorstep with a bag full of leaflets. Hello he said and thrust his hand towards me. I hesitated a second, torn between not sounding like a lunatic or "sorry, I can't shake hands I'm covered in cat shit". In the end I thought "fuck it" and gave him a firm turdy handshake. Sorry Mr. Liberal Democrat candidate. You seem like a nice bloke.
(Naich, Thu 7 May 2015, 14:17, 1 reply)

Having been at that there Oxford for university
I met most of the British politicians currently aged between 40 and 50. They are all twats.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 7 May 2015, 12:50, 2 replies)

Brian Mawhinney
Met him once. Jumped up self important supercilious tw@t! But enough about his good points........
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Thu 7 May 2015, 11:27, Reply)

I got first prize in a raffle of political statues.
I never expected to win stone Churchill.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Thu 7 May 2015, 8:28, Reply)

Bruce King
Growing up in New Mexico, we had a long-serving Governor named Bruce King. He was a crafty, good-ol'-boy cowboy known for slipping obfuscations, evasions and policy changes into rapid fire, paragraph-long, punctuation-less sentences. In one of his re-election campaigns he showed up at the University, where his lack of environmental awareness made him rather unpopular. I resolved to follow one of his sentences. It required intense concentration.

The gist of what King said was that, contrary to his critics, he did indeed care about air quality, because his ranch was located as far from the crest of the nearby mountain as the University was, just on the opposite side.
(Perv With A Dog had his eyes pecked out by scrub jays on, Thu 7 May 2015, 4:31, Reply)

Went along to a Commons fancy dress barbecue in my Batman outfit.
They'd decided to let Robin cook.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 6 May 2015, 21:58, Reply)

Vote tangledupinblue

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 6 May 2015, 20:45, 2 replies)