Eva Braun
During college I lifeguarded at a golf club near school. Every evening, these two old German ladies would come in and doggy paddle/walk around the pool for about an hour. One evening while they were distracting me from my reading/studying, one of them mentioned to me how nice Hitler's cars were... on the inside.

I swear she must have been Eva Braun.
( kingoffools, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 19:35, Reply)

pseudo-posh grandma
My grandma has annexed part of the house she shares with my grandad and their three dogs.

On the door of this room is a huge sign proclaiming it to be the 'West Wing'. She takes great pride in this room, keeps it all clean and posh-like and won't let anyone else in it.

Sometimes she lets me sleep in there when I've got a hangover or to play PS2 on the ace TV.

I think I will buy her a tiara and some of those gloves that poshes wear.
(sporky, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 18:07, Reply)

On a family visit to London....
I was visiting London for the day with my family, and my parents had decided to show us round all the posh people's houses, looking at the plaques, etc.

We were making our way to the Science Museum (at last), when my Dad decided to cross the road without looking, dragging my sister along in the process.

A limo screeched to a halt, and thanks to my Dad's and Sister's dodging skills, it narrowly missed them. Just as the limo pulled away, me and my Mum saw someone through a gap in the heavily tinted windows.

It was Baroness Thatcher, with the highest look of contempt on her face that I have ever seen.

I don't know why she looked in contempt at me and my Mum, we didn't jump out in front of the limo.
( Lightguy hail satan, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 17:28, Reply)

My wife..
is posh. She comes from the posh part of our house. Me and the children laugh at her.
(Cane: I love Sushi, Sobriety & Shotokan, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 17:13, Reply)

I'm so posh
I get out of the bath to take a piss!
.
.
.
.
.
I am also so posh also can't be bothered to read the other posts thus we end up with the same joke 3 times this week.
(Minty Hit, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 16:29, Reply)

I am so glad this has come up now!
I just got back from a trip on a 5milllion euro yacht around the south of France.

and apparently when I am drunk I put on a really posh accent
(MyrtleTheTurtle, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 15:56, Reply)

Avast!
I done POSH, spagged my goo all over her big sunglasses then crashed the yoghurt truck all ova her bum bum

*Immature
(Manatee Fondler, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 15:30, Reply)

Pish about posh being P.O.S.H.
From WordOrigins.org

Posh:
This is another word with an apocryphal acronymic origin. Popular etymology has it that posh is an acronym for Port Out, Starboard Home. Supposedly, this acronym was printed on first-class tickets issued by the Peninsular and Oriental Steam Navigation Company going from England to India. The port side on the trip out would have the coolest cabins (or alternately the cabins with the best view). The same would be true of the starboard cabins on the return trip. From this origin, sprang the usage of the term meaning swank, elegant, or fashionable. Unfortunately for this excellent story, no tickets with Posh stamped on them have been found and company records reveal no sign of the phrase.

I feel a cup of tea and an ice-cream van coming on, you know...
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 15:30, Reply)

Oh Yes One Does...
I am so posh that I get out of the bath to wee.
(Loving Vixen, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 15:27, Reply)

Yarr!
I once went on a boat and deliberately sat on Portside on the way out and the starboard side on the way home!

The epitome of POSH. And I just use the word epitome. Oooh! And again!

That's where the word really comes from Tree Hugger!
( Redsushi! Whoop! Whoop! Yes, that one!, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 14:58, Reply)

girl i once went out with
was giving me directions to her parents' place so i could pick her up. i knew i was onto a winner when it involved "turning left at the clock tower and right at the stables" and when i pulled up outside her half-castle/half-mansion abode i couldn't figure out which of the three front doors i was supposed to knock on

her parents were lovely though, and happily didn't look twice at my muddy bashed-up third-hand ford fiesta
( gravytrain, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 14:48, Reply)

Oh, and also...
...she's always talking about sex and nudity.

She's 80-something...

(and her husband is 40)
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 14:48, Reply)

My grandmother...
...thinks she's posh, or at least well-spoken.

She carefully pronounces things and makes a big thing of speaking nicely at all times.

Then she goes and ruins it by saying things like "It's not as cold as what it was".
(Professor Kenny Martin Hmm? What?, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 14:47, Reply)

It's so confusing...
ElNicko - I once got hit on by P Stringfellow. That was categorically NOT posh, in fact I am still suffering the trauma caused by his zebra skin jacket... EYURGH.

I once went out with a Lord's son complete with Stately Home... half of it was open to the public but the half they lived in was way nicer. However proper posh people have NO money - its all tied up in crumbling houses.

I saw it from the other side when I worked as a dinner lady in a v famous boarding school, before I went to university. Yes they were posh, but I used to offer them extra choc ices in return for repeating Marxist slogans - nothing like a cut-glass 15 year old accent saying 'All property is theft'. Little Johnny's parents may well have been paying £16K a year for his education but I thought it was apt that you could buy his principles with some cheap EU milk lake ice cream and sugar.


Me? I'm a bit of everything. But I do love Veuve Cliquot la grande dame (think the 94 was my favourite)... but wine isn't posh! It's just nice... I hate faux wine snobbery, it makes me so angry.

Oh, and Prince William is FIT. Just thought I'd add that too. Much more of a 'would' than Harry.
(Mademoiselle_violette, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 14:17, Reply)

poshness
Had a mate who's gran was a bit posh,she invited him and his mom for tea once.The dog(e claims it was a dobberman)kept jumping up on him as they arrived."Kick his balls"exclaimed the gran(meaning the dogs tennis //footie ball)
My mate planted a walloping boot in the poor dogs scrotum.Later after being well chastized,they setteld down to tea,the dog in his basket licking his swollen nads.My mate said"Gee wish I could do that"to which the posh granmother aserbicly replied"Ask him maybe he 'll let you.Wich goes to show poshness is not inherited its inbred
(bleedthingie, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 13:37, Reply)

Am I posh?
I dont know if I am posh, but I am eating ferrero roche for breakfast washed down with a pint of earl grey.
(barronshark, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 13:35, Reply)

personally im not posh at all
but i am decended from a faimly called the Wingfield family and they practically owned my town. the manison was pulled down about 30 years ago, the lord at that time used to own lamas and used to ride them into town. i still get into the local club called the Wingfield Club free because of it.
(THE_TRUFFLE_PIG, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 13:30, Reply)

King
If 60,441,457 people drop dead in england I will be King.
(waxdart hello., Mon 19 Sep 2005, 13:12, Reply)

Due to the amount of inbreeding going on amongst the upper classes
there is a notable lack of genetic diversity. For instance, inherited traits such as eye and hair colour, facial features and body shape will vary less between these upper classes than a normal healthy breeding poulation. This is where the term "posh" comes from: People Of Similar Height.

OK I made this up
(tree hugger putting the "semen" in "basement"..., Mon 19 Sep 2005, 12:12, Reply)

I'm so posh,
my parents named me Tobias, Toby for short.

I never turn my fork up side down and use it to 'shovel' food.

My Father, the son of a career officer with the British army in India, grew up (and attended Grammar School) in middlesex before it was built up to part of London.

I grew up in Bedford, went to state schools and an ex-polytechnic University and now eek a living out in the arse end of nowhere.

Also I once dated a girl that owned 4 horse and was given her very own Merc for passing her driving test. (she didn't take it up the arse)

I say grahss and barth and (I also have a lisp which doesn't help the lack accent)

EDIT: I was at a statley home when I was a kiddie and I was pretending to guard it when this old guy comes up and starts talking to me and my dad, turns out it was Princess Di's dad
( Neon Blue Ah ha ha haa! I feel positively capital!, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 12:06, Reply)

I still prefer it up the arse.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 12:04, Reply)

Orange or Mint?
Said ex (after making his own dash for poshness in the Taking Of A Mistress - read: copping off with the nearest student) also once booked a restaurant table under the name of Viscount 'Hideous-Name'.

I happen to know that the staff spat in his food. Copiously.

Fortunately this happened after I left him, I'd never have allowed the buffoon to make such a frightful faux-pas.

Every cloud :D
(spacecowgirl, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 12:00, Reply)

posh do's.
Went to the Cartier international polo a few weeks ago where it totally rained on us all. Saw the queen, saw harry on his horse (He's a good player buy needs to get stuck in a bit more) and pushed past Tamara Beckwith (I'm pretty sure it was her...) in the queue for the toilets.

Booed at the "essential lifeblood of Equestrianism!" (parade of fox hounds) and argued with the toffs.

The best part was when a single foxhound stopped and shat right in the middle of the field. It was the biggest piece of anti Establishment social commentary there could've been... :)

The longer I spent there, the more delightfully working class I felt.
(Mr Joe Bangles, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 12:00, Reply)

Yikes...
My ex's folks aspired to poshness... They made the best of his bastard status by giving him a truly horrendous double-barrelled surname (for which reason I'm grateful that the relationship ended before I was lumbered with the damn thing). And he called them Mummy and Daddy. Even to other people. The shame of it...

I remember once being severely told off for eating grapes off the stalk when I should "nip the stalks with a knife dear, it's so revolting to leave them like that"...

Now I eat grapes how I like. Peeled, with a warm summer fruit coulis in a cage of spun sugar.
(spacecowgirl, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 11:31, Reply)

Surrey
When William the Conqueror successfully conquered the UK, he handed out bits of the country to his most generous supporters. One of them was a chap called Walter who was so posh that he didn't have a surname, but was sufficiently wealthy to have provided half the army that William used at Hastings in 1066. As a reward he was given half of Surrey.

I'm a descendant of Walter. I now live in a two-up, two-down, as my idiotic family has squandered the entire fortune down the centuries. Doh!
(graybo, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 11:13, Reply)

Lavatory
One is so posh that one removes the dishes from the sink before evacuating one's bladdes.
(BossBostin, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 10:59, Reply)

Poshest
I'm dead posh. Went to a posh boarding school, hosrses, shooting and stuff left right and centre. Had lunch sat next to the Queen and with Prince Philip on the same table. Was sailing last week on the west coast of Scotland. Its post but fucking cold and wet. Bollox
(gavpw, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 10:39, Reply)

Not posh, just a spoiled Californian
I have literally been to Hawaii more times then I can count, at least more then 12 times starting from the age of 5. I've stayed at a hotel that has a monorail-type tram and boats that take you to your hotel towers, a lagoon with five or six dolphins that you can meet, and a nice waterslide (the locals call it Disneyland). Another time I stayed at a new hotel that was curiously far from the beach. I later learned that the huge, fenced-off "lawn" area was actually an ancient burial ground!

I've also been to Japan three times, which is two times more then my parents (though they saw a lot more when they went).

I'd have to say the poshest thing I've done in Japan was attending the memorial service of the mother of the man who is the equivelant of the pope of my sect of Buddhism (his son was hot).
(Kitsune-chan I'm not a bunny I'm a grownup girl, Mon 19 Sep 2005, 9:31, Reply)