Devastating Put-Downs
Amorous Badger says: I once saw a former manager of mine being asked to 'sit down and let your mouth have a chance to speak' by his senior. What's the best heckle/putdown/riposte you've ever seen? (Hint: Recycled 'Your mum' jokes does not make an answer)
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 15:15)
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I've waited years, but so far it hasn't happened
Walking along with a cigarette. A janitor shuffles up, pointing at the "No Smoking" signs. "Oi! Can't you read?"
"Yes, that's why I'm not sweeping up for a living."
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moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:53,
12 replies)
www.b3ta.com/questions/putdowns/post1449266
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:55,
closed)
Fair enough
Though I reckon this form is funnier.
And I prefer the "I don't come to your work and slap the sailors' cocks out of your mouth" version.
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moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:08,
closed)
No. Neither are funny. It and all derivations thereof are older than God and unfunnier than your mum after a few gins.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:24,
closed)
speaking of people who need the cocks slapped out of their mouths.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:27,
closed)
What do you do for a living?
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Moon Girl Technologies horrendous beanbag, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:56,
closed)
Talks to janitors.
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Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 16:58,
closed)
Worst Native American name ever.
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Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:05,
closed)
According to the logs, I mainly read B3ta
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moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:09,
closed)
Wouldn't this just make you an arsehole?
You know, for smoking where you shouldn't and then being a...well...arsehole...when this is pointed out to you?
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 17:12,
closed)
Worse than Hitler,
I shouldn't think.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 28 Nov 2011, 19:35,
closed)
This is an interesting alternative to coming up with the killer comeback two days after the incident.
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Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Mon 28 Nov 2011, 20:07,
closed)
I have had a slightly less
dubious version of this discussion with a hectoring jobsworth before.
Was in some manky outlet place in Swindon, just after the smoking ban came into force. No smoking signs everywhere, etc. I was wandering aimlessly towards the exit, to smoke outside. I put a cigarette in my mouth as I was heading out.
Some guy, must have been either security or a caretaker or something, bellowed at me at the top of their voice "Oi, you can't smoke in here!!".
I took the cigarette out of my mouth, looked theatrically at the unlit end of it, said "Yes, that's right", and continued through the door, where I lit the cigarette.
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username failed moderation, Tue 29 Nov 2011, 9:26,
closed)
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