New Years Eve Celebrations
Ever got lost on the way to a New Years Eve party and ended up seeing in the new year in a freezing cold field, pissing down with rain, alone, surrounded by sheep? I have.

Tell us your tales of New Years Eve win and fail - only a few weeks to go now...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 14:09, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

In the nick of time . . .
plenty of scope there - tell us your story of having just made it
"in the nick of time." Did you manage to grab the last concert ticket for a much-worshipped band after a mad, life and limb dash? Did you hand in your most amazing piece of work just as your teacher/lecturer packed up to leave? Tell us about it.


** Public transport stories, however, may earn you a wet fish to the face . . .
( Mrs Legless . . . belongs to, well, you know . . . :), Thu 26 Nov 2009, 8:36, Reply)

Camping trips?
I'm sure we've all got a story to share about your mate falling in the river mid-november wearing his only clothes or watching your friends dine on semi-cooked pork sausages, whilst wondering if he can drink enough cans of lager to neutralise any potential food poisoning.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Wed 25 Nov 2009, 2:04, Reply)

Out of character
My ex was a charming and innocent young lady, the very model of a nice girl. She impressed parents and friends with her politeness, was as much a friend as a girlfriend, and was by no means obsessed with sex. Having spent the night over at her house, I woke up and expressed my hunger, and wondered aloud what to have for breakfast. She then took off her pyjama trousers (she wore pyjamas even when I was there), pushed my head down, and said "There's your breakfast, start eating". I was surprised; not unhappy, but certainly I didn't expect it.

What have you known people to do that was completely out of character?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 15:06, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

I've always wondered...
I've always wanted to know how many people, if anyone, ever had sex in my school toilets. They were (and probably still are)phenomenally horrible; the floors were never without a liberal coating of piss. Unfortunately there's no way I'll ever find out.

Could one realistically do a poo weighing over 10lbs? Is Rob Manuel as manfully charming and muscular as he is in my oily fantasies? What percentage of the QOTW answers involving sex are complete fabrications?

What ridiculous stuff have you always wondered about?
(StapMyVitals wouldn't mind a bit of that, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:59, Reply)

Club 18-30
At the end of school, me and a group of lads hit Kavos in Corfu for a week of end of school/pre-uni celebrating. On the trip we had one lad throw up in bed, another smash his nose on the bottom of the swimming pool trying to impress girls and my best mate disappeared only to reappear with only one shoe and a vague recollection of losing his virginity. And this was only the first night.

Anyone else had similar experiences with reps that chav your money, all you can drink parties and sunburn?
(satanstolemyteddybear Mu hõljuk on angerjaid täis, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:26, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Drugs
We could cover some highs and lows, if you pardon the expression.

Share your drug-related tales, both heart-warming and heart-rending.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 10:08, Reply)

You weren't meant to hear that
When have you totally screwed up?

My best effort was when I was on a bit of a "get fit" drive this summer. The primary purpose of said "get fit drive" was in the hope of persuading attractive people to sleep with me when I went back to uni for my second fresher's week (I failed). Getting fit was achieved my means of a lot of cycling. Now, as every cyclist knows, there are times when you just don't want to drag yourself up another endless hill, especially after you've already cycled more than fifteen miles that day as well as playing a four hour tennis match. At times like these my motto would be "Think of the Clunge!". An inspiring slogan indeed. What I didn't intend was to be overtaken by an actual proper cyclist person^TM as I crested a hill and quoted said motto out loud.

The look he gave me over his shoulder will stay with me to the grave...
( MatJ LOOK, Sun 22 Nov 2009, 4:05, Reply)

I once built myself a greenhouse
it was nice.
Tell us about your erection.
( stopmeandslapme Cometh the hour, cometh your mum, Sat 21 Nov 2009, 17:41, Reply)

Things that made more sense when you were a kid.
When I was a kid I used to love the bit on "Get Your Own Back" when the parent was raised higher above the slime for each correct answer. Looking back, I don't know why.... that parent was going in the slime anyway, what difference does the height make?

What made more sense when you were a kid than it does now?
(Sivvus trolley collision in the fruit aisle led to a jam, Fri 20 Nov 2009, 23:33, Reply)

Foreigners
There always weird and smelly. And when you go abroad you're weird and smelly. I once shit myself in Greece because I didn't know the word for toilet and they were too lazy to learn english.
Tell us your stories of bungling foreigners and your fuck ups when you're a foreigner.
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 14:47, 4 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Workplace Idiots
Because I have to work with lots of them, and want to know that I'm not the only one.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Make Do and Mend

As a deprived estate kid, I only had two Transformers (Grimlock and one of the Insecticons), so to stage major battles, I used to cut out faces and Autobot/Decepticon symbols from Transformers comic, and stick them on the underside of Matchbox cars. turn them on their back end, open the doors for arms, hey presto, Robot!

When needs must, what have you done to save money, or just be a general skinflint?
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

Stupid relationships
Ever had that stupid relationship you know wouldn't work / shouldn't work but you just can't for some reason leave / break-up?
i.e. the girl I was with for over 3 years who cheated on me and I begged to have her back only for her to do it again, or my latest who said she had a history of cheating then used that as an excuse saying "you know what I'm like" when she did it to me but I'm too forgiving (however I'm now only full of resentment and don;t want her in anyway but can;t seem to burn the bridges...)... Somehow my only 'good' relationships where everything is rosy is always minus the love...

I'm such a mug sometimes but do you have any stories where you want to end it but something says no even though every part of your brain and body says leave? Let me know...
(Something funny, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 22:00, 1 reply, 14 years ago)

when i was a student i had to live with a right pretentious cunt - rod
he was as poor as a tabloid apology and tight as a fat birds shoe

but he had a hifi that cost the same as a decent car that 'needed' a diamond and gold needle for the turntable that cost 200 quid - in the eighties

he wouldn't let me play 'pump up the jam on it'

who's the most pretentious cunt you've met
(omnishambles ™ has been fucking things up big style since, Wed 18 Nov 2009, 0:25, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

the kindness of strangers
A bit of a tonic for all those holiday blues.

When I was young a neighbour that I'd never spoken to before fixed my bike because he saw me trudging home with a flat tyre and felt sorry for me.

Tell us about when someone you didn't know did something nice for you or your own good samaritan deeds, if you feel like gloating.
(Bo Nidle Coming back in from the cold., Tue 17 Nov 2009, 21:31, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Digestion over a thousand years.
I hate the man down the road, he`s horrible.I love star wars. Who would you like to be seen thrown into the Sarlac pit , and slowly digested over thousands of years, brining a new meaning to misery.
ps Gordan Brown and the cabinet went in straight after my neighbour,so use your imagination you all.
(rural confucious, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 11:49, Reply)

What do you mean, you haven't seen it?
I never fail to be amazed by the indignant shock shown so by so many people when I reluctantly admit I haven't seen a "classic" film.

Alright, so I haven't seen the Godfather films. I've never seen One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. I've never seen Bladerunner. I've never seen Gone With The Wind. Sorry, I guess I never got around to watching them.

What haven't you done that it seems like everyone else in living memory has?
(d371ght back again since, Tue 17 Nov 2009, 9:14, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Awkward moments......
Me mum recently went to a doctors for a mammogram, and the young doc asks her if it's ok to place some sensors on her chest. After me mum whaps her bits out and the doc sticks the sensors on he announces "Oh by the way, I was in school with Jeccius you know...."

Have you experienced anything as awkward as this? Discuss :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 16 Nov 2009, 11:12, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Kicked out, Banned and Barred
I've been banned from a couple of pubs in my youth as well as as a chinese resturaunt. None of which was my fault. Honest guv.

Been kicked out by surly landlords for having a good time? Given marching orders by cunty partner for daring to have friends or was your banishment totally deserved cos you're a smelly twat?

Tell us your kicked out stories...
( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Sun 15 Nov 2009, 22:22, Reply)

I would like to ask here
Barring this week and last, isn't QOTW not supposed to be repeated? Or can the suggestions not be repeats? Or does no one really care?
edit: last week was not a repeat. I meant the week before.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sun 15 Nov 2009, 3:25, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

They had it coming...

Tell us your tales of when you've watched or taken part in the dishing out of a sixpack of cummuppence on some git who quite frankly deserved it?

Or perhaps you've crossed the line yourself and didn't realise it until you were ousted for being the fruity freak that you doubtlessly are?

(Honda Accords optional)
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 11:07, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Bleach My Eyes
I once saw a rather large lady getting attention from three drunk fella's in a carpark. Imagine three midgets trying to catch a dinosaur with 6 inch spears and you're still not even close. What horrors have you seen that are burned in your mind forever?
(McJuurgensHaircut is authorised and regulated by your mum., Thu 12 Nov 2009, 10:11, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

B3tan OCD
why not spend the week telling us about the little self imposed rituals you all have in your day to day lives, and any other personal habits bordering on OCD
( The Great Architect is still waiting for his account to be deleted on, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 20:01, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I'm not gay, but.....
Wish I had a pound for every time someone said 'I'm not gay but', and then on to tell the gayest of tales. So ....
(reinvented, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 19:47, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Missed opportunities
Some years back I left my mobile phone switched off and missed out on the opportunity to be on the Radio 4 farming programme (I'm rock and roll, me!) and I once almost missed answering a mystery voice quiz on the radio because I was in the loo - I ran out just in time and gave the wrong answer live to the whole county while my knickers were around my ankles.

So what opportunities have you missed or almost missed because you were otherwise occupied?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 13:45, Reply)

Charity
Children in Need is approaching. I hate these national telethon type extortion rackets with a passion. To the point that I’d rather take the day off work than be subjected to yet another cake sale or some senior manager mincing round the office dressed like Scooby Doo.

Last year, my point was proved when one of the managers was asking for sponsorship in order for them to sit in a bath of jelly. He raised about fifty quid. However, he spent closer to a hundred quid getting the bath, jelly and ridiculous costume sorted out. If he’d not bothered with his ‘stunt’ more poor kids with ASBO’s could have been given a PS3 and a week in Centre Parcs.

Tell me your stories of charity – be it as the fund raiser or as a guilt ridden punter who for an easy life, would rather put their coins in a bucket and be allowed to go about their business.

And if you want to wear your casual clothes whilst answering this question, I’ll need 50p off you.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 11 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Something about films
I don't know films havn't been on there yet i don't think. You do the hard work.
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Tue 10 Nov 2009, 10:48, Reply)