Suggestion to counter the "ignorance" questions high proportion of American idiots...
"How I made myself an idiot of myself abroad"
(incrediblemonkeydoctor www.rantatsomeone.com - go on, have a rant, Thu 20 Jan 2005, 16:34, Reply)

Most unpleasant colleague
Have a dossier ready.
( Goatworrier had your mum and she was shit, Thu 20 Jan 2005, 13:10, Reply)

Unusual accidents
I recently fractured my pelvis by sleep walking out of my first floor bedroom window.

What's the most unusual accident you've ever had?
(moohaa, Wed 19 Jan 2005, 14:48, Reply)

5 portions fruit/veg a day?
screw that. What should we really all be eating?
( We are the lemon irked your craw on, Tue 18 Jan 2005, 21:20, Reply)

what have you...
...embarrisingly been caught doing?
( Taylorcamb, Tue 18 Jan 2005, 18:56, Reply)

My poor little brothers
I remember doing some really horrible stuff to my little brothers when we were kids - luckily they don't hold it against me but I still feel guilty sometimes when I think of the fear on their little faces.... what's the most horrid thing you did to your sibling when you were kids?
(Mad McMad, Tue 18 Jan 2005, 16:04, Reply)

filthpigs
the most rancid filthy bastard you have ever met.
(bovrilboy, Tue 18 Jan 2005, 13:37, Reply)

Your
first kiss...
(flash, Tue 18 Jan 2005, 3:31, Reply)

No? Well how about...
...ideas for a nite time/adults-only-access sex park at Euro Disney . I quite fancied doing Jessie The Cowgirl doggie style when I was there, but only if she left the character head on.

Surreal or what!?
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Mon 17 Jan 2005, 16:56, Reply)

Dawn French...
...your thoughts on being buggered by her?
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Mon 17 Jan 2005, 16:53, Reply)

Ultimate fantasy...
...maybe it's seeing a celebrity buggered by a hippo?
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Mon 17 Jan 2005, 16:50, Reply)

Celebrity...
...that you would most like to see buggered by a hippo.
(emadex thinks the world will end on, Mon 17 Jan 2005, 16:49, Reply)

Best graffitti...
There's some sort of 'don't be fattist' campaign on at the moment. One of the bill boards for it features a picture of a girl with a 'nice personality'. Next to it are two tick boxes one labled 'Fit?' the other labled 'Fat?'. I have no idea how they managed it, but somebody got up there and put a big marker pen tick in the 'Fat?' box.
Makes a change from the usual 'Duncan 4 Tracy 4 eva'.
What's the best grafitti you have seen/been responsible for?
( baldmonkey a frothy foul-smelling vaginal discharge, Mon 17 Jan 2005, 14:34, Reply)

MISJUDGED PRACTICAL JOKES
A few years ago a friend/housemate of mine met a young girl. While they were out, we papered his bedroom with hardcore internet porn. When he came home and took her upstairs we heard a shriek and a slap before she ran out of the house. He went nuts and it was about three weeks til he saw the funny side. Tell the World about your misjudged practical jokes!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Mon 17 Jan 2005, 13:53, Reply)

Worst place you've ever lived.
simple.
( Herr Tezcat, Sun 16 Jan 2005, 13:46, Reply)

Technology
Love it or hate it technology is here to stay. We have the wheel, fire, palm pilot, thingy, watchamacallit and the USB compatable doo-dah.

however why cant old people, the hopelesly inept and peple who are paid more than you figure out how to use anything that requires electrisity?

so.."your clueless+compters stories"
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 15 Jan 2005, 21:18, Reply)

shame i didnt get in time....
but my flatmate said this last night...

I just brought some long round bolster cushons (look the end of gladiators lollypops) anyway on taking aim at her she remarked "if you hit me with that i will fist you hard"...
her english isnt perfect... punch has yet to be learnt
Enjoy - Ajtag
(Ajtag, Sat 15 Jan 2005, 0:40, Reply)

Dark family secrets
like my grans secret lesbianism

also Mistafeesh
my drummer's mum's cousin's cousin is Rick Parfitt of teh quo fame
( Brown cow, Fri 14 Jan 2005, 15:58, Reply)

Stupid claims to H-list celeb status
For example, my cousins God-father is Gerry Anderson, and Saddam Hussein once took my granny out to dinner.

Surely that should get me a place in celeb big brother?

What stupid claims to faim do you enjoy?
(teasus likes tea, Fri 14 Jan 2005, 11:47, Reply)

Foul pestilence
Eh-up,
May I humbly suggest:

Most horrendous illness. I was poisoned by my own medicine in the summer, shortly after starting a new job. I turned bright pink, I bloated so much the docs in the hospital couldn't find a vein to take a blood sample and my skin came off in little patches. It looked like I was covered in grated parmesan. Hence the handle.

So, what have boarders had in terms of diseases and disorders that they wouldn't wish on Jeremy Beadle?
( Parmesan Quality b4 Quantity, Fri 14 Jan 2005, 11:24, Reply)

Blogs
Joe Gordon was sacked by Waterstones, a major High Street book retailer, for a handfull of work related entries on his blog.
Has anyone else found their employers totally over-reacting to personal web logs?
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Fri 14 Jan 2005, 10:14, Reply)

What is
The wierdest situation you've ever been in?
(fistcount shite, Thu 13 Jan 2005, 17:46, Reply)

Experiences with...
seemingly normal objects, harmless to the naked eye, that have caused much mirth to people

For example i know someone who once got a papercut off the top of a drinking straw. And then fainted. No, really...
(McFlu, Wed 12 Jan 2005, 23:45, Reply)

Party?
everyone loves party's! what they dont love is being publicly dumped, waking up relising what they did last night wasent funny, having alcoholic friends puke on on thier shirts, strangers laughing at their bad-trip misfortunes, comming to in a police cell covered in blood, recovering from alcohol posioning and worst of all having to clean up afterwards.

what im getting to here is what is the worst thing that has happened to you (or a friend/relative/sapient pet)that involves a party?
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Wed 12 Jan 2005, 20:58, Reply)

Childhood genius
Those under the age of 10 have an incredible ability to amuse and amaze with the things they say.

eg.

My son (4) recently told me that lipstick was poisonous for boys.

Question of the week - "Childhood genius - things you've heard kids say"
(jr_jayr, Mon 10 Jan 2005, 13:40, Reply)

You have..
managed to succesfully kidnap a celebrity of your choosing. In your possession you have a roll of masking tape, an avocado, 3 HB Pencils and one hour. What are you going to do next?
(ray bentos, Fri 7 Jan 2005, 16:41, Reply)

What's the closest you've ever come to getting killed?
Friend of mine in the RAF dropped a nuclear weapon once. on his foot. off a trolley. It didn't detonate.

Of course, that's classified...
(Henry Normal you can call me Mr. Boring, if you like..., Fri 7 Jan 2005, 13:04, Reply)

Chaviest
As 'Chav' culture seems to be reaching fever pitch...Whats the Chaviest thing you have ever seen ?
(Murphysbone, Thu 6 Jan 2005, 13:48, Reply)

The Cruelty of Employment
Corruption, crap pay, the sons and daughthers of "The Management" getting more pay and better treatment than you. Working your arse off for mere peanuts, and so forth...I, personally would love "The Question" to be this topic. I can't be the only person in the universe that is is employed in what appears to be "Satans Hell-hole". Maybe it's been done? but, a re-visit for people who have never seen the previous posting (if there is) would me watermeloning marvellous. Thanks :)
(Panteneman Isn't entirely sure why he bothered on, Wed 5 Jan 2005, 19:44, Reply)

Psychos I Have Known.
Where to start? For some reason I always end up getting off with total nutters. My last GF was a fantastic person until she had a drink. Then she tirned into the bunny-boiler from hell.... I've lost count of the number of times she's attacked me, tried to stab me, made long, rambling drunken phone calls in the middle of the night. Thank God I dumped her and moved to another town to avoid her.

Strangely, there's a number of other girls like this in my past - especially the Chardonnay-Monster.....
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 5 Jan 2005, 15:34, Reply)