Despite leading a very interesting life.
Last year I spent my free time in Manchester as an 'enabler' for people to be recipient of Mary jane. Y'know, The not-so-legal yet not readily enforced herb.

I was a drug dealer. For a bit the entire halls I lived in. This is the short story of how I became this role and how I'm forever indebted to a certain person.

When I first moved in I met a girl, S, who lived in the flat above me, she was also the first drug user/dealer I ever met aside from my dad. We became good friends, probably because I didn't buy anything off her, having despised the wretched herb for making my dad into someone I dislike very much. I said that if I knew anyone that needed any green I would tell her.
She also persuaded me one day to have my first toke, which promptly whitey'd me out, leaving me further wondering how the hell anyone could like it, and why the hell S seemed so fond of it.

Over the course of a term I also met a guy who was heavily addicted to mephedrone who once introduced me to his dealers, who came round mine incidentally had no green and were looking for a decent source. I said I knew someone who did and not knowing it was customary to just give her number to them, gave me £20 for an eighth, I popped up to S and buying it off her, gave it to him. Even though I knew nothing about what makes quality green, they said it was some of the best they'd tried, and promptly gave me enough money for an ounce. Which I promptly gave S to give to them.
I'll spare you the details but somehow I became the 'go to' guy for my friends to buy weed off, it ballooned from there really, nobody was selling apart from S. I liked very much that I was meeting new people who wanted to be my friend. S liked me because through me she managed to get most of her customers. It became a point where I offered to do the deliveries for her after she got a new batch from her cousin, seeing as I am a fairly tall bloke, and she, well, lazy and a woman.
I started to get depressed because I realised that practically everyone I knew, just wanted me to provide them with weed, no-one was my bloody friend, they just came to me when it suited them.
But I'd found it, a nice way of making a bit of cash on the side, supplementing my student loan, me of all people! A dealer! How lucky was I?!?

This led me to 'experiment' with my stash, because after reading the substantial material online regarding it I thought I'd have a better experience. So I rolled one up, following advice on a video, and took a drag. Found the effects rather pleasant this time.
I then became my best customer.
My marks slipped, my lectures went by, slept through. My room rapidly turned into a tip. I turned into my dad. Started accepting offers of blazing up, usually free from the bag I'd just sold them. It was funny, just never fun. The guy I knew who was addicted to mcat, led me to try lots of drugs. Ketamine, mephedrone, ecstasy, speed. I liked the altered state these highs got you.

It all came to a head when I walked into one of my friends room, not having seen him for 3 weeks after selling him 1/2 oz. A wall of B/O, and small fruit flies hit me, there was a layer of fast food wrappers on the floor, heaving piles of rancid laundry that smelt like they had been washed in bong water, bottles of piss, mouldy beer and opened cola bottles filled with flies.

He lay there with his laptop in his lap, a nearby bucket which had been been disgraced from some previous night out where the need to speak welsh had overcome him. This was the weed doing this to him, even though I knew from earlier on in the year he was a lazy bastard, he was still a great guy to chill with before I got into selling. It was all my fault. He'd failed his course. He hadn't tried weed before coming to uni.

He asked me if I'd give him some as a gift, since he had no money left. So I gave him an eighth. Then randomly axed him to death to put him out of his misery from being in a pun. You could call it a random axe of kindness.

Length.
(Natrix, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 6:04, 5 replies)

You Cunt...

*click*
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 7:23, closed)

I'm kind of sad that I read all that

(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 7:34, closed)

Bastard!
Needs more random tho.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 15 Feb 2012, 7:45, closed)

Ha!
I only read the first sentence, then headed to the replies. Busted.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 8:50, closed)

I only got as far as the obvious lie in the subject.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:05, closed)

Well, I am actually alive.
So hah.
(Natrix, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:47, closed)

I got to the second
line, where it sounded pompous.
(username failed moderation, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:48, closed)

What?
It's practically true
(Natrix, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:53, closed)

Oh, well played.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 15 Feb 2012, 9:52, closed)