Heh.
I'm told regularly that I have a cast of characters in my life. I imagine I'll have a few tales to tell this week.

There's the Mad Artist, for instance. A high functioning schizophrenic, he's much like Will Hunting in that old Matt Damon movie- brilliant, well read, able to tell you about obscure mythology or recent scientific discoveries or where to get good weed, all in the same conversation. He talks at machine gun speed and looks like Jim Morrisson crossed with Kokopelli, and is nuttier than squirrel poo.

He makes his living laying brickwork, cutting down dead trees and other unskilled general labor. He very seldom bathes, and his stench is memorable enough that people can detect him from a block away if the wind is right. I swear that Pratchett modeled Foul Ole Ron after this guy. He lives on a diet of frozen pizza, Camel Light cigarettes and Diet Coke, and his apartments invariably become hovels lined with cigarette ashes and butts, wrappers from junk food and strange broken things.

One day he was sitting in his apartment and realized that his shoes had a lot of gunk on the insides of them because he never wears socks and the dirt gets down there and gets mashed with a combination of sweat, dead skin cells and god knows what else into a pungent brown layer. He took a table knife and scraped the worst of it out of his shoes and left it sitting on a table. He went off to do some work and was gone for the day.

That evening one of his roommates wandered into the room and said, "You've been holding out on me, man! You had hash and never told me!"

"What hash? I don't have any hash."

"You left it there on the table, so I smoked it!"

"Wait, did it look like this?" He took off a shoe and scraped more gunk out on the table.

I don't know what happened after that, but I bet it wasn't pretty.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:17, 9 replies)

The Bourne Identity?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:22, closed)

No, that shit one with Mork from Ork in it.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:26, closed)

Dead Poets Society

(Smale is stuffed, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:28, closed)

Mrs Doubtfire?

(Figmaus, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:58, closed)

Yeah that narrows it down.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:07, closed)

(Pssst. Don't tell anyone I told you, but it was "Good Will Hunting". But it's kinda fun seeing all these shite movies mentioned...)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 20:52, closed)

Good Morning Vietnam

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:07, closed)

Night at the Museum 2?

( Draconacticus Reject shampoo. Demand real poo!, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:21, closed)

Smokey and the bandit?

(magic the cat will someone please think of the kittens, Fri 28 Sep 2012, 11:21, closed)