Bromsgrove: An Unofficial Guide
Although I currently hail from darkest, chavviest Redditch, I wish to pay tribute to my birthtown, Bromsgrove.

Nestled between Birmingham and Worcester, in the crotch of junction 4a of the M5 and the start of the M42; a once thriving industrial town - reduced to a mishmash of expensive housing estates, charity shops, vast amounts of takeaways and "Slug & Lettuce" type bars.



The northern end of Bromsgrove High Street, at its most busy. Note the Cancer Research Centre shop and the obligatory Argos

The only affordable housing is on the estate of Charford, famous for its high crime rate, perpetrated by one single family



Charford offers luxury accommodation, with rent and utilities paid for by others who actually have to go to work

Claims to fame include:

The gates of Buckingham Palace were made here.

Bromsgrove is at the foot of the Lickey incline, famous for being the steepest railway incline in the UK; site of at least one rail crash due to brake failure



The top of the comedy-named Lickey Incline - bloody steep, innit?

Notable residents included:

Michael Ball
Richard Orford (bloke from Big Breakfast who incidentally, due to marriage, I am sort of related to)
Alfred Housman (who's statue can be seen sporting a traffic cone every weekend - the joke never gets old)

Bromsgrove's Premier Nightspot "Love2Love", where Basshunter collides with Abba on the CD autochanger every night; the Ben Sherman-clad clientelle standing on a lifeless dancefloor.



Where music goes to die

Transport links include Bromsgrove Railway Station, where one train a day (if you are lucky) stops to allow people to squeeze onto the already packed train to Birmingham.


A rare sight indeed, a train actually stopping at this deserted outpost of a town

Bus links are well catered for, with the "not at all scary" bus station with it's retro toilet facilities - when you can smell it, you know you're home.


Bromsgrove Bus Station - photo taken early on Sunday when the Post Office and bookies are closed

Leisure facilities include Sanders Park; which features an icecream kiosk which opens at least twice a year, and a mini assault course known as the Trim Trail - used only by mothers wishing to injure their children for the compensation money



Sanders Park Bandstand - with capacity crowd

Avoncroft Museum - every primary school child's nightmare destination, featuring the largest collection of retro telephone boxes (about 6) This replica of Dr Who's police box donated by local tramp and celebrity, John "Dr Who" Clews - sadly died recently of a head injury when heckling chavs pushed him outside the Asda.

news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/hereford/worcs/7110070.stm



RIP Dr Who :o(

Other points of interest:

The Bromsgrove Union Workhouse, on the Birmingham Road, was opened in 1838 and closed in 1948 and is in use as an Indian restaurant today.

Ernest Anthony Pratt (or Anthony E Pratt) (1903 - 1994), the inventor of the board game Cluedo, is buried in Bromsgrove Cemetery

Yes - Bromsgrove really is the town of dreams
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Mon 2 Nov 2009, 22:23, 12 replies)

Wait...
The sun shines.
There are shops.
There are some green bits.
You have the Harriers.
You can escape on a train or a bus.

This place doesn't look so bad :)
(nd1001 slamdunked my funk, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 0:44, closed)

Let me get this right...
those bus stops, those double yellow lines, busses get fined every time they stop? So it's only viable to stop if you are picking up more than £30 worth of passengers?
( --=| Daz |=-- has been masturbating over a picture of you since, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 2:08, closed)

Nope
I used to live in Redditch so as much as I admire you knowledge of Bromsgrove the fact that I used to live in the Ditch means your post is null and void I'm afraid. I think we both know about Redditch, it is one of the worst places to live on the planet, it makes Bromsgrove look like the garden of Eden*.

*Maybe a small exaggeration
(amsterdam_neild, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 7:18, closed)

Yes but
Redditch has been covered by several other posters
I lived in Bromsgrove for 25 years, and redditch only four

You can take a boy out of Bromsgrove but you can't take Bromsgrove out of the boy
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 8:07, closed)

This is a good read, but all the same:
fuck off, Avoncroft is ace.
( Zuowan, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 9:18, closed)

Looks a bit like Barrow-in-Furness
But with more character (not difficult) and open shops.
(Cloudane, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 10:47, closed)

I got married in Bromsgrove
Seemed ok to me.
(Tom Jones's Mojo Hasn't had any since, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 16:13, closed)

Wow!
The charity shop is having a 50% off sale...was it really too expensive before?
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 17:57, closed)

What did the club used to be called?
I was a doorman there and at the pub opposite in 2002. Run by a short are little cunt called MArk who used to treat his staff like utter shit. He got dotted by the head doorman one night for being a racist tit. How we all laughed.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 19:11, closed)

that was Euphoria
a breach of trades description if I ever saw one :)
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Tue 3 Nov 2009, 20:45, closed)

Ahem
Better known as 'Euthanasia'

I'm so glad I don't live in Bromsgrove any more.

The others ar right though - Redditch is shitter.
(SnowyTheWereRabbit the Leporid from Hell, Tue 3 Nov 2009, 23:28, closed)

Thats it.
I can't remember the name of the pub opposite but Euphoria was so shit it made The Dome in Birmingham look like a classy establishment.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 0:42, closed)