Save money on expensive batteries
Only put them in clocks when you need to know the time.
( Ya What Skiddlyboop, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:58, 2 replies)

Shop at Aldi
Seriously guys, it's got a weird reputation (most probs due to the utter garb that is Lidls) but it's hell of alot cheaper and nout wrong with the majority of their stock.

Enjoy :)
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:54, 10 replies)

Stop buying cocaine every weekend

(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:42, 6 replies)

Works for me - maybe not for you.
I've noticed that my most frugal months are those where, within the first week, I can convince myself I'm spending too much money. Lo and behold I become loath to spend even an extra penny on anything, and end up at the end of the month holding most of my wages.
(chuckle_h0und You furnish the pictures, I'll furnish the war, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:27, Reply)

A life of finance crime
can yield great rewards, but the initial outlay can be costly. If you get caught, you'll probably get a massive pension.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:21, Reply)

A life of petty crime
can yield great rewards, with minimal financial outlay. If you get caught, you'll probably get free bed & board for a couple of years.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:20, Reply)

Money saving
I brew my own beer, its easy, only I don`t add one bag of sugar, I add three (somtimes 2 sugars and 2 jars of honey) and top the barrel up with water to make 22 litres.
This increases the alcohol content to about 10%.
The only thing is that its too bloody strong and makes anyone drinking it go blind.
However a 2ltr bottle of pop from Lidl is 19p, so I put 40% eye murderer in and 60% lidl pop, its still strong enough to do the job and it tastes a lot better and you get to keep your eyesight. It works out at about 30p a pint.

Also I have an old Mercedes that runs on Veg oil which is £1 a litre in Tescos at the moment. I also get used veg oil free from various places and once you have sieved bits of chip out of it and bunged it in the tank it drives fine. The car is worth about £200 scrap value and no one would be crazy enough to steal it. I can also abandon it anywhere and not worry about car park dings as they wont make any difference.
Its never let me down as there are no electronics in it to go wrong, just a great big agricultural diesel engine that is good for 500,000 miles. And smells nice when going along too.
It was for sale but I have decided to keep it. www.rat-look.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=27&t=8730&p=125494#p125494
(Orkstomper, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:07, 9 replies)

Be dishonest
Self-service tills in supermarkets are brilliant ways of saving money.

The obvious one is to run stuff like red grapes through as the much cheaper green grapes.


Something you might not know is that the ones in Tesco will accept two vouchers for each transaction, no matter what they are for or how out of date they are. Scour any magazines you have lying around (women's magazines are best for this) and grab any vouchers that they have. tesco will always take them, as long as you don't try to use more than two.

I have never done this, not me, no never.
(ScousersPet, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:05, 4 replies)

Be dishonest
If you buy the same brands on a regular basis (beans, dishwasher tablets, whatever), find the customer services email address and send a spurious complaint about said branded item. The manufacturer will invariably send you a load of vouchers for their product.

I have never done this, not me, no never.
(ScousersPet, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:03, 1 reply)

Air is hard to keep cold
so if your freezer is usually mostly nearly empty , like mine , fill ice cream tubs or tupperware with water, freeze it and your fridge will have less work to do and will cost less to run . Plus you get good big comedy ice cubes to offer guests .
( horace wimp needs more than 49 characters to fully express hi, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:01, 9 replies)

Be dishonest
if you buy a lot of stuff off the net, you will invariably come into contact with shit couriers. At some point, these shite couriers (Home Delivery Network, I'm looking at you!) will leave your purchase in your bin, next to your front door or just in the street next to where they stopped their van in the fucking rain.

Bring your purchases into your house and use them as you intended.

After a couple of days, contact whoever you bought said items from and tell them they haven't arrived. Following the usual "give it a few weeks and see if it shows up" delay, they will send you your order once more. Return this second order and get your monaey back.

I have never done this, not me, no never.
(ScousersPet, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 10:00, 2 replies)

Inspired by wakeupandsmellthebacon
Sod that expensive fizzy wine. Do what my mate does. Cheap bottle of white plus soda stream and there you go.

Promise that'll be it for the moment
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:59, 2 replies)

This one caused a bit of moral outrage last time I posted it......
Weigh everything as onions (or as I've found out since, carrots).
Those self service tills in the supermarket. You know the ones, you do the scanning and packing for the place so's they don't have to pay staff to do it for you. Then they charge you full fucking price.
Next time you're there, just weigh it all as cheap vegetables. Fillet steak, that'll be 35 pence please.
Also, buy expensive wine along with a bottle of cheap plonk, scan the cheap one and bag expensive ones.
Work out what prepackaged things weigh the same but cost a shit load less. Fray bentos pie, about the same as a tin of value cat food. 2 litres of coke or 2 litres of value mineral water.
Voila! Your weekly shop for the cost of a big bag of veg and a couple of tins of value crap

Edit: anyone would think I've just come round and bum raped your kittens and given them the bad aids from the replies. Do b3tans all own supermarkets and are therefore appalled by the idea of them losing a little bit of their profits?
( monkeyboyalpha jumping on the bandwagon since, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:57, 117 replies)

increase your popularity on the internet
by being smug and dull on a comedy website. then shove the fiver you just saved by not going outside, ever, up your bumhole to save on bog roll.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:37, 7 replies)

After the first bottle you can't tell the difference anyway
So instead of buying Dom Perignon or Roederer by the case, buy one bottle and a case of something cheap like Moet or Pol Roger.
But cheap croissants are just a false economy.
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:28, 2 replies)

Sub question
Does anyone have a cash and carry card?

When I lived abroad, we had a place called Makro near us, which I think we have in the UK now as well.

We used to buy all our bog roll, washing powder etc in bulk. It worked out half the price.

Only problem here is where to store it, as our house is small.
(username failed moderation, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:25, 5 replies)

Never carry cash.
Works for Prince Charles and he's as rich as fuck.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:22, Reply)

Plaiting
Grow your own shirts, pants and socks you hairy cunts.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:16, Reply)

Putting snakes in your pockets helps you save money at the pub.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:12, Reply)

Think of all the money you will save on living expenses if you kill yourself now you boring tightarses.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 9:10, Reply)

Stop being lazy
We bought our house more than 2 years ago. As soon as I moved in, I noticed the heated towel rail in the bathroom was always on, and was pretty much too hot to even touch.

I got round to sorting it out 2 weeks ago. It's on a timer that was hidden round the back of the boiler. It was set to switch off for about 10 minutes a day. Now it's on for 30 mins twice a day.
(username failed moderation, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 8:59, 8 replies)

I got one of those one-cup kettle things for brews.
They heat exactly the right amount for one drink, normally a bit pricey but as mine came from a car boot sale (unwanted wedding gift) for a tenner I'm well pleased.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 8:51, 16 replies)

Get your loft insulated and get your boiler serviced every year
Even in winter, I seldom have the heating on more than 2 hours a day. My previous house had no loft insulation and it took a lot more time and money to heat the house.

This may seem obvious, but I've lost count of the number of so-called-green friends who don't have proper loft insulation and end up using far more gas than I do.
(IHateSprouts is baking a huge pie shaped like an enormous pie, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 8:31, 6 replies)

Well...
Spectacles for a tenner: www.selectspecs.com/ varifocals for £45

Contact Lenses for a fiver an eye: www.daysoftcontactlenses.com/GB/CountryHomepage.aspx

Your entire christmas shopping for under £200: www.tinydeal.com and pretty much anything else you need, but it will take 2-3 weeks to arrive (bear in mind xmas postage times too!)

Never had a problem with the cheap glasses just enter your prescription correctly and wait about 2 weeks, some of the ultra cheapy tenner ones (£6 plus delivery) are not great quality but you just buy more in 6 months time, my £45 slim lense varifocals for close up work and such are fecking lovely, my mate paid £400+ for the same specs, he hates me.

The contact lenses are disposable but I often get 2-3 wears out of them, just treat a pair like normal use lenses, clean after each use, I find even tho I have quite a major astigmatism and these lenses won't correct for it I can manage quite happily in most social situations with these, the ones with LESS water I find more comfortable for long wear, don't be confused by all the comparisons to other brands they only sell 2 types, check them before insertion as they do sometimes have molding defects, but at a fiver for 30, buy more!

Tinydeal is my fave crapvendor, direct from Hong Kong toys, electronics, clothes and housewares, memory cards for £3, Airswimmer Shark for £16, high qual Cycle Gear for £20, Tokyo Flash alike watches for a fiver, Calvin Klein style undies for £4, tiny tiny cameras for a tenner, silly crappy iPhone/iPad/iPod clones, high spec laptops, all in one portable media players, Kindle-a-likes, mini all in one stereo mp3 players that you can take/put anywhere for instant music just add an SD card, cuddly LED cushions that change colour, etc, and on the dark side of the force, electronic key copiers and picks, spyware, chavvy poser death knives and ninja stars, self defense eye gougers, pepper spray, tazers and lasers powerful enough to set fire to your mates retinas, replica guns with laser sights, and even the scary skull masks, army gear and gun holsters you'll be needing for that bank robbery, pretty much you name it they sell it and they don't give a rats crap if a good amount of it is actually highly illegal in your country, they'll still take your money wrap it up and send it, so be more than average wary what you send through customs with your address on it if you don't want a friendly chat with a nice man from the anti terrorism squad!

Oh, and they happily mix in rubber fist dildoes and sexy sally PVC crotchless knickers alongside the kids toys and kitchenware, so be a bit wary when looking through it with your gran for ideas for Christmas.

With electrical goods n kids toys too keep in mind this stuff comes in untested by the usual government filters for safety and such, think of it like stuff you got knock off, back of the lorry direct from the factory off that bloke in the market, check it well before buying (electrical compatibility with your countries specs for example) and before use, or just buy stuff ya can't go wrong with, the site itself has some very odd quirks but I fecking love these people and have delighted/confused many a friend with many a truly hatstand present.

A certain close mate WILL be getting the Steve Jobs commemorative bobble head doll, for example! www.tinydeal.com/preselling-great-steve-jobs-model-toy-decoration-with-apple-stand-for-desktop-display-collection-fci-57009-p-44157.html who wouldn't want that staring at them from their desk all day!?

*edit* currency conversion is top right BTW, do use your profile and the site reviews etc as you get points for participating that do, indeed, make prizes, I get to treat myself in January every year, ORDER THINGS SINGLY you will get them quicker and in better nick that way!
( ..wil, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 8:00, 4 replies)

Serious 1st.
- Crush your aluminium cans, I get AUD$5 a horse-feed bag every few months. That's how much beer I drink!
- Turn everything off when you aren't using it. At the wall. Or preferably pull the plug out.
- Spend some money to save some. In the last few years I've paid for a 2100L rainwater tank, a bore and a 1.5kW solar power system (for which we did have a subsidy). Might make me look like a bit of a hippy but end of the day it increases the value of my house and eventually saves me money.
- Cook your own meals. FFS! With fresh ingredients - maybe even grow some. Always prepare more than you need to freeze later.
- The whole homebrew/breadmaking - fuck it do it, have a go. The only way I learned was by having a go, haven't brewed in a while but I reckon I've saved thousands of dollars in buying piss over the years.
- Live within your means. I only have 1 "credit" card - 1 of those 12/24 mth. interest free store cards (which I pay AUD$100 a month on to avoid the interest). I've got a debit Visa so I can still buy stuff (online & bbpay etc.) but I can't spend more than I've got.
- opshop, opshop, opshop. Apart from grundies, workshirts and sox everything I wear is second-hand. All the cds I listen to cost me cents to AUD$2 not AUD$25 odd. All the books I read cost me on average AUD$0.50.
- recycle everything. My missus is mortified when I pick up computers off the kerb-side "bring out your dead". Beige boxes which I have revived then installed as servers and then sold on cheaply to clients. Regular paying clients. Mostly still running those same cheap head-less lamp servers.
- Stock your freezer from the local butchers - most do "budget packs", pick & choose.
- Save all of your change - 'gold' coins in 1 place, 'silver' in another (bigger) place. The missus & I have gone out to dinner more than once on our silver alone (a jug filled with silver coins roughly ≈ AUD$100). I store my 'shrapnel' in the ashtray of my ute - that's why I don't smoke in my car.
- Make your own lunch - srsly we mostly all did it for 6-8 yrs. at school, many of us get our kids to do it every week day - 'knoath how hard is it to make a nice sanger?

Jks 2nd
- Fatten your pets/kids up - when the apocalypse comes - a nutritional easy to call food source.
- Piss on your citrus trees. Apparently they love urea salts. Save your water bills on flushing the toilet. Big juicy lemons all year round ftw.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 11 Nov 2011, 6:54, 2 replies)

It's the dailies that mount up.
I am a miser. I currently live like a bit of a pauper since I arrived with nothing in a First World country and was used to having pretty much nothing anyway.

Avoid cafés. Buy fresh coffee every day? Maybe twice? $3-$4 a cup twice a day (not uncommon amongst people I've worked with) can leave you $2000 a year poorer. Find a good instant and drink that if you need the caffeine. Plus, when you buy a cup of the good stuff, you will really appreciate it.

Buy loads of cheap shirts. Odds are you don't care what you wear to work that much, and if you have 30 shirts you only have to do a big load of laundry once a month, and your cheap clothes will last long due to the infrequency of washing.

Grow a beard. Shaving's a con.

Good shoes. Combat or work boots are cheap, comfortable (depending on type), shine well, last for ages and look as good as anything else under your work trousers. Being able to run over broken glass is a benefit.

Drink out less. If you're blowing $100 a weekend on parties, you could be living in a place $100 a week more expensive and still afford a few sixpacks at your swanky new abode with friends.

Learn to share. The economy is fucked, it'll get worse. You may value your independent lifestyle, but savings will help your self-esteem more when you inevitably lose your job. Find reliable friends, share a decent-sized home and bask in the money that's accumulating.

Reliable old car. Buy an old Camry or similar. They don't break in any important ways, are cheaper to replace than insure and aren't desirable enough to steal. You won't care when you scratch or dent them, and parts are easily available and cheap.

Decent home theatre and Blu-ray. Bit of an outlay, but it's much cheaper than the cinema if you watch a lot of flicks (BDs are like $10 or less from Amazon) and the quality's about the same. Share with friends. A decent 1080p 3LCD projector now costs little more than a regular TV. Spend your saved coffee money on it. Also works for games.

Don't Breed. Kids will ruin you and there are enough out there.

I earn relatively fuck-all, have lived in über-expensive Sydney and Melbourne for four years and accumulated tens of thousands of dollars living like this.
(Ladyfingers is in your wardrobe,, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 5:57, 24 replies)

Save money on tampons by using party poppers instead.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 4:40, 3 replies)

Not spending money is an excellent way of saving money.

(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Fri 11 Nov 2011, 2:20, 4 replies)

Save money on heating bills
by moving to the tropics.
So when the end comes and everything turns to shit, at least you wont freeze to death whilst you scrabble in the dirt for survival like a mangy dog .
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Fri 11 Nov 2011, 1:32, 9 replies)