Why can't birds...
Take their tops off properly? You don't grab the bottom, you yank it off by the neckhole, obviously.
Throw properly?
Appreciate a good meaty fart?

Conversely, any female playing a guitar, or fixing a car makes me a little bit warmer inside.

Still, bless 'em eh.
(NiplyTheElder tried to slip clunge into a conversation on, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 0:55, 12 replies)

^ guitar
I'll go with that
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 0:57, closed)

Bass over guitar
Judging from a purely eye-candy point of view, more hot female bassists than female guitarists.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:02, closed)

Are you using
Suzi Quattro as a reference there?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:03, closed)

As well as Quattro, I'm using the following as a reference
In no particular order:

Paz Lenchantin
Emma Anzai
Jennifer Arroyo
Sheryl Crow (plays bass as well as guitar, natch!)
Melissa Auf der Maur
D'Arcy Wretzky
Lyn-Z (Mindless Self Indulgence's bassist) (despite getting nobbed by that bloke from My Chemical Romance)
Nikki Monninger
Elena Jane

You can have the female guitarists, I'll take the female bassists.
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:12, closed)

I would like to add
Elena Jane, the former bassist from End Of Level Boss. She knows how to rock the fuck out and is hot as hell. During Googling to find a picture I also found that the Metal Hammer staff think the same.
(cypherspace is not a toaster, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:22, closed)

Oooh
*Adds her to the list of hotties*
(Ghost Atreides enjoying incontestable health benefits on, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:33, closed)

Kim Deal?
Before she got too friendly with Mr Brownstone?
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 16:35, closed)

Suzi Quattro, PJ Harvey and some bird with glasses on Later with the Joolsmeister using a Boss looper [edit:KT Tunstall, thanks to the internet]. Weirdly arousing.
(NiplyTheElder tried to slip clunge into a conversation on, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:13, closed)

My farts can make windows rattle but unfortunately are generally odourless. The foul stench of my son's botty burps, however, can clear a room in seconds.
(Freakmandu, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 1:08, closed)

About 5 years ago,
I caused a slight problem on California freeways. Specifically, the 405.

I blew a tire, and was changing it myself and was in work gear at the time - i.e. skirt, tights, heels, etc. As I eased the car back onto the freeway, the radio announced an "awkward situation" on the 405....and proceeded to announce about "there's a lady changing a tire, and traffic has come to a standstill".
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 2:20, closed)

The reason we hold our tops at the base when we take them off
Boobs.
(misskitty reeks of sex and turpentine; laudanum afternoons, Mon 28 Dec 2009, 4:31, closed)

If you take your top off from the neckhole, all that happens is that it bunches up under the boobs and the neckhole encircles your face like a comical nun costume. And then you have your bellybutton on display as well. Nightmare.
(Mrs Ballunatic counting calories, not votes., Tue 29 Dec 2009, 21:09, closed)