Not funny
I was born in Liverpool. My mum had four kids, i'm the oldest. I had one half-brother Darryl and 2 half sisters Shirley and Leanne. We all had different dads i think. Mum was a junkie and probably a prossie. When i was 10 we all went inot care cos my gran died. I never got a home cos i was a pain just childrens homes. I used to run away alot cos i got bullied at the homes and at school. When i was 17 i ran away to London and ive not been back.

I lived pretty rough for ages. Did some stealing and eded up in a skwat. Then i started selling Big Issue and got myself together a bit. You might of seen me outside Kings Cross in the late 1990's. I did plenty of bad stuff but i got through it. If you seen a big scotsman with a eye patch, that was me what done it to him. I was pretty hard by thne and i tried to look out for the kids i seed what were like i was when i got here.

One time, i was just selling and i seen a girl with a bag what looked lost so i says to her "You all right love?" but she ran off. I kep seen her around and she was with a guy that was a right barstard so i says to her "Look, do you need somewere to kip cos i got a skwat and its ok."

Anyway, she come back to my place and i lets her sleep on the floor. She all skinny and i seen her rists was all cut and stuff. So i tryed to find out wot she was up to. Her name was Sky and she was just 16 and we had some drinks and a smoke and she venturly got warm and et some food too. Anyway, when i went to bed she climed in to and then we had sex. I told her i would look after her for a bit cos she was relly nice an that. When we got up we talked abit about wot we done an that. Turns out she was from Liverpool to and was in care to. I sed "Skys a funny name, sounds a bit hippy. I didnt see any hippy kids wen i was in care." so she says "Well my real name was horrid so i calld myself Sky cos its like a nice name." so i says "Wots your real name then" and she says "Leanne". turnd out she was my little sister.

I got drunk for about four or five days and she disapered. I never seen her again aftre that but somwun told me she was a junky so god nos whot happend to her then. I got sober and now i work in a kitchen but some times i wish i was ded.
(HRH Prince Harold Bow down to me you bastards, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 13:47, 6 replies)

Christ...
I don't know what's more depressing, that this is true, that it is made up or that it could easily be true.

*/masturbates furiously.
(Troutbiscuits, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 15:45, closed)

Please...
Tell me this is a troll.
The amount of times the English language has taken a hit is just unbearable :(
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 15:48, closed)

Of course it's a troll.
Quite a good troll though.
(MrTrent cannot think of a clever sig., Tue 30 Dec 2008, 16:08, closed)

Yep it is a troll
Probably baldmonkey or Gilgamesh I think.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 30 Dec 2008, 16:17, closed)

.....
Damn trolls.
Good story though, if not a little weird.
(Maccy Divided by 0 on, Tue 30 Dec 2008, 22:27, closed)

Was she any good?
I mean, you said she was on drugs, so...
( Soggy, Wed 31 Dec 2008, 1:14, closed)