A guy's walking home on Xmas Eve......
....coming home from the pub. He's devastated, lost his job,his wife has ran off with the milkman and taken the kids with him. His already morose, drunk mood gets worse when he goes past all the houses, full of Xmas cheer.

Just as his thoughts turn to suicide, he spots Santa Claus emerging from a house.

"Ho, Ho Ho, Merry Xmas", says Santa.
"Sorry mate, nothing merry about my Xmas" says the bloke.
"Why's that my friend?" asks Santa.

As the guy starts to tell his sorry tale, Santa explains that at Xmas, he can make everyones dreams come true and life better. He tells the guy that he can make everything alright for him again, and have the happy Xmas he dreams of.

"But I need you to do something", says Santa
"Anything, anything!!!" says the bloke.
So Santa goes on "Okay then, I'm actually bi-sexual, and I don't get many chances to express my sexuality, so may I take you up the arse?"

The guy is obviously releuctant, but agrees.

So Santa gets to work, he bends the guy over the garden wall, and bots the living Jesus out of him.

Once Santa had shot his festive muck, he turns to the guy and says :
"One question before you leave. May I ask how old you are?"

"Sure" says the bloke "I'm 36"

Santa looks at him and says "36? And you still believe in Santa Claus?????", and runs away!
(Charlie Baked Potato, Thu 9 Sep 2004, 23:11, Reply)