not necessarily a joke...
my best mate sam was in sceince the other day...

teacher: where do you find chemical reactions?
sam: in a gas chamber *dirty grin*
teacher: you sicko... detention...

this one is though:

a guy is sitting in his office. he's feeling a bit cheeky, so he decides to get some proffesional help. he calls up the nearest prostitution agency, and asks them to send the best person that they can straight away.
about twenty minutes later, a slender young blonde turns up.
"what do you want me to do first?" she enquires.
"well," he says "it's my first time, shall we start off with a handjob?"
"sure..." she says "that's £500."
"WHAT!?" he shouts "500 quid?"
"you see this watch on my wrist?" she shows him a diamond encrusted rolex. "i bought that with the money i get from handjobs."
"wow," he says "you must be good... go for it!"
five minutes later, he's sitting there, with his trousers round his ankles, covered in his own muck.
"fucking hell!" he says "that's the best wank i've ever had!"
"yeah," she says "i know. anything else?"
"do you do blowjobs?"
"sure" she says again "that's £1000."
"What the fuck!" he yells "for a blowjob?"
she grabs his arm and leads him to the window.
"you see that porsche out there?" he looks at the shiney new boxter; "i bought that with the money i get from giving head..."
"fuck!" he says "it must worth it. let's go!"
she sets to work again. this time he almost passes out from the pleasure he experiences. she stands up and wipes her mouth.
"Jesus!" he shouts "that was the best fucking blowjob i've ever had!"
"i know..." she says "anything else?"
"well, i've done your hand... that was amazing. i've done your mouth, that was even better... now i want your faff!"
"right..." she says.
she leads him back over to the window. pointing to a huge skyscraper on the horizon, she says "you see that tall building?"
"Yes!" he says, guessing what's coming next.
"if i had a faff, i could probably buy it..."
(notjustahatrack peeling a sausage..., Sun 12 Sep 2004, 16:55, Reply)