Assortment
What is three foot tall and found at the end of small boys' beds?
Garry Glitter's boots.

Garry Glitter gave up whisky, but just couldn't resist the odd tot.

Garry Glitter fell out of his boat and ended up floating on a few buoys

*To the tune of yesterday*
Leprsoy,
I'm only half the man I used to be,
If only I could afford a sewing machine,
I might get my sex life back on track

Suddenly,
My dick is hanging off of me,
Having a piss is going to be tricky,
More of a splash than of a slash.

Tell me why,
The best sex swop people are all Thai,
When all I've got to do is be alive,
And all the bits fall into place.

The first line of this song I heard at a Jasper Carrot gig and decided I'd finish it off, pun most definitely intended
(Tix Keeper of the Smurf, Tue 14 Sep 2004, 23:55, Reply)