sex and football, lap it up
...my mate in an upstairs dorm goes out and picks a wild girl up.
They get back to his and she is up for everything.
At one point she has her head and shoulders out of the window whilst my mate does the do...but the window falls and traps her...and she loves it even more.
He's getting tired out, so still trapped she suggests he calls a friend - so he does.
His mate comes into the room and carries on at the window.
When she finally frees up and comes into the room they find that his mate is her brother...

---

A man goes into an antique shop in the city of london and spots this statue of a cat. He asks the owner "How much for the cat?"

"£100" he replies.

"Sold" says the man, pays his money and walks out the shop with the cat.

As he walks down the street he notices a cat that was hanging around outside the shop starts following him but thinks nothing of it. As he passes an alley a few doors down two more cats come out and begin to follow. By the time he's reached the corner there is a pack of 10 cats on his tail and he is getting a little nervous so he starts running.

As he runs down the hill more and more cats join the chase and at this point he is running for his life when he notices the Thames is at the end of the street. He runs up to the barrier by the side of river and leaps up grabbing hold of a lamp post. The pack of cats leaps up and all go flying into the river where they all drown.

Out of breath and in shock the man clambers down from the lamppost and makes his way back to the shop in a daze. The shopkeeper looks at him knowingly and says "I suppose you want your money back?"

To which he replies, "No, but how much for that statue of the Arsenal fan in the corner?"
(Dr Pob this just makes you look further to find the time, Wed 15 Sep 2004, 2:18, Reply)