Sit ye down, children and I shall tell you a tale.
Apparently before they became 'famous;, the lead singer used to, whilst aroused, squeaze his erection tightly so his bobby's helmet went deep purple like a 'beef heart'.

Whatever passed for entertainment in the 1970s I dont recall this featuring among it, but how many male readers will be trying this when they get home tonight/in the toilets/at their desks in front of Miss Jones from accounts and exclaim "Ohh yeah, so it does!"?
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:34, Reply)

Nope
Although I imagine it's filthy.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:32, Reply)

Does anyone know..
..how the band "Captain Beefheart" got its name?
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:31, Reply)

Hey,
At least I pissed in a freezer and not the wardrobe!
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:28, Reply)

Rachelswipe
Is that in heat, or on heat?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:28, Reply)

I thought
only dogs were in heat?
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:27, Reply)

But not as entertaining
as pissing in a wardrobe whilst awake!


(Ah, that takes me back to teenage house parties.)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:27, Reply)

This is much more entertaining
than pissing in a wardrobe whilst asleep
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:24, Reply)

Ah, it's that time is it...
My part-time job is so simple. I call round at the shepherd's house in the morning and exercise his herd for an hour or two before returning them well exercised...

Oh, hold on...
(frankspencer, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:23, Reply)

In this week's Heat magazine
Rachelswipe tells of her heartache at finding out that Captain Cunty Bollocks and Captain Haddock are in fact not the same person.

"I thought they were the same person, not a pale, emaciated System Engineer from Penge and an unwashed Protester on the site of the Glasgow inner ring road" she wailed.

Captain Cunty Bollocks replied with a rancid postern blast which emptied the board all round causing people to gag on their tofu.

Captain Haddock was unavailable for comment as he was spending the 20 minutes of the interview dead for tax reasons.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:22, Reply)

My Shlong
it is a glossy rag that always has jordan. kerry katona on the front talking bollocks about how they lost shed loads of weight but i wanted a different agle. They told me put some clothes on but i informed them my nakedness is who i am. inappropriate erection was a fucker considering it was a cold day
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:14, Reply)

Captains
I think the captains have just put Grazia out of business. If it's a Hello/Ok type rag, then well done chaps!
( abefroman skating on the thin life of modern life on, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:12, Reply)

LOL 69!!!
he he.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:09, Reply)

Sleepwalking!
Whilst someone I know was sleepwalking they urinated in an inappropriate place then said something weird to someone they shouldn't.
Finally they were woken up by somebody somewhere they shouldn't have been.
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:08, Reply)

69 dude
what else
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:08, Reply)

It's all lies, Rachelswipe..
Look, I'll prove it.
CCB - what number am I thinking of?
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:05, Reply)

seriously.
same.


person!!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:03, Reply)

CCB and CH ..
Disappear stage left in a Morcambe and Wise dance.

"Geeve meee a-sunshiyyyyneah"
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 12:03, Reply)

response
Perfectly timed comedy fart follows with a grimise that suggests a follow through
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:58, Reply)

<puts on best Ned Seagoon voice>
I dont wish to know that, Sir
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:57, Reply)

i have terminal flatulence!
I actually do. From the sound and smell of my arse you would think that i indulge in backdoor man action every night which is swiftly followed by a sprout curry. i have problems
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:53, Reply)

Let's be honest though....
.. we're probably not the only 2 people thinking the same thing.
This QOTW has been about as enjoyable as the long drawn out deathrattle of a man suffering from terminal flatulence.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:51, Reply)

RE: I am Wondering
I know my father was fucking around with other women and i do have a half sister that i have never seen. Dirty so and so.

As mentioned, the full story is available in grazia with an exclusive nude shot of me
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:49, Reply)

My dear Rachelswipe
I can assure you that we 2 captains are in fact totally different people.

You can read the whole story in this week's Grazia.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:47, Reply)

Yes, lets get a new question going...
Suggestions.

1. The best wank fantasy I ever had that DIDN'T involve Bella Emberg
2. The Hardest, most angry erection I ever had in public
3. Fat People: Better sex, or just more grateful?
4. What's the least literate post of the last 20 QOTWs?
5. Why is it that twats on the A1(M) between peterborough and Brampton Hut always feel the need to sit in lane2 and never move? Are they incapable of ever changing lanes? Are they simply retarded? Or are they (as I suspect) so lazy that they hog this lane in a bid to overtake vehicles and navigate the motorway without ever actually having to engage their miniscule brains to change lanes and give way to politer, more considerate people.

That last one has my vote.
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:45, Reply)

i am wondering
if the two captains are the same person or twins or something? or just great minds thinking alike??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:43, Reply)

Celebrity sleep bonking
I once had a very very intense dream that I was getting it on with Kylie Minogue.
I awoke pretty much the same second I shot my load.

The walking involved was to the bathroom for a clean up. ;-)
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:38, Reply)

A new question please
This is about as interesting as a convention on misuse of vanician blinds. Another QOTW please Mr b3ta.
(CaptainCuntyBollocks the man who can with a frying pan full of lamb, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:38, Reply)

New QOTW
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
Are we there yet?
(LunarJim, Wed 29 Aug 2007, 11:21, Reply)