Kim Deal
But only her voice. I presume many others of a certain age felt a bit of a tingling hearing her velvety sining on Gigantic. in fact I'm going to have to listen to it again. On my own. Shame she's a bit of a munter.

Also pretty much any girl playing a guitar. Went to see My Bloody Valentine play the Roundhouse a couple of years back and spent most of the gig staring lustfully at Bilinda Butcher. Made me feel like a teenager again. But not Courtney Love. She can fuck off.
(Alphabet Soap boshboshboshbosh, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 9:34, 2 replies)

A little embarrassing...
but when I was a teen, I was well up for Billie (later known as Billie Piper). When she married that ginger bloke I was well gutted.

Then a few years later I saw her on Doctor Who, and whilst I still would, the teenage fantasies were crushed a little.
(MrBeansHoliday, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 7:10, Reply)

Link
Zelda, Ocarina of Time. When Link was suddenly all grown up and manly he was possibly the sexiest thing I had ever seen.
(elless, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 0:54, Reply)

The Really Wild Show
I can trace my sexual awakening back to when Michaela Strachan had a monkey do a piss on her shoulders during the really wild show.
(ihaveab3tanamenow, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 23:57, 1 reply)

Brooke Satchwell
www.gossip-celebrities.info/img/brooke-satchwell-pictures/758920c3brooke_satchwell0009.jpg
(samwisethesick, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 22:49, 2 replies)

Helen Keller
in a sex swing...mmmm
( Mr Jamie, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 22:39, Reply)

The post below reminded me
My boyfriend is a physics teacher. However, no, this is not me admitting to new heights of geekiness (I can do WAY better than that if I was!). Oh no, my boyfriend is a handsome chap, at 5'7" tall enough to just be taller than me, slim with an AMAZING arse (seriously, I haven't seen many better), short blonde hair which he gels and blue eyes that make me melt inside every time he looks at me. But this is not about my crush on him, oh no. This is about the competiton I face.

At 23, he is one of the youngest male teachers in a private girls' school. I don't know how he doesn't get mobbed every day. One of the technicians found "Mr Chien is goooooorgeous" written on one of the lab benches one day.

He's all mine girls. Hands off. *Cackles evilly*

(And the fact that I am going out with him has nothing, NOTHING, to do with the fact that I had a crush on my physics teacher while I was still at school.)

No apologies for length, he can spank me with it any day ;)
(Petite chien is going to do science to it, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 22:31, 3 replies)

Vanessa-Mae!
She was once on Noel's House Party and I decided I needed to move to Singapore.

vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=54651424

Talented, beautiful, sophisticated, she's win on a stick!
(Super Jet Shoes, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 21:58, Reply)

Reading all these brings a tear to my eye....
....makes me cry too.

Maybe I'm a bit weird but my groin twitches were the fault of:
Rachel Garley - page 3 stunner
Michelle and the other one in Allo Allo (not the annoying blonde one)
Jenny Powell
Sophie B Hawkings
Roxette - the blonde bird
Helen Lederer
Mmmmm
(CleverTrevor, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 21:17, 3 replies)

janet ellis
primarily from jigsaw, but then when she moved to blue peter. I saw her recently on a daytime gardening programme and she's still got it. I once met her neice or some vague relation who was around 12 or something, so I told her to tell 'auntie janet' that i loved her - that sounds creepier than it actually was.

also, kim wilde would still get it.
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 20:25, 3 replies)

Vanessa Feltz
i met her at a book signing in waterstones in high barnet when i was 17. she sat on my lap and fked up my knees.
(imallamallama looking forward to llamageddon on, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 18:29, Reply)

Tricia Helfer
Of Battlestar Galactica fame. I first saw it about a year ago, when I was 16...
www.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/8073/tricia-helfer-3-top.jpg
I dare you to disagree
(SoneMe, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 16:14, 5 replies)

Dr. Lurve...
I went to an all-girls Catholic school, so between the hours of 9 and 4 those of the male persuasion were very difficult to come across. We shared buses with the all-boys school up the road, but the ones our age were all spotty oiks and the sixth formers wouldn't talk to us for some reason.

So yes, picture the scene - A school which is little more than a holding pen for walking hormones, all the male teachers being over the age of 50 (in the 70's they had a spate of teachers running off with sixth-formers). Suddenly, when I was in Year 10, the school, in their infinite wisdom, decided to hire a new Lab Assistant. Who was male. Who had just graduated. Who was quite literally, to this day, the most spankingly gorgeous person I have ever seen in real life.

Now, I wasn't the only person to think this, not by a long shot. Every single girl in that school thought this guy was the best thing since B&H and Bacardi Breezers. Everywhere he went, girls would follow him around wolf whistling, and after a while, our science teachers just stopped trying to speak whenever this guy was in the room, since all we did was stare at him and burst into rapturous applause whenever he turned around. We never got bored of this, and all he ever did was blush, the poor guy. We called him Dr Lurve, and to this day, if someone mentions him to my friends, we all sigh and go off into little daydreams for a while.

Unfortunately, Dr Lurve was fired after getting off with a sixth-former after about 8 months. A large group of Year 7 girls beat her up after this for "taking him off us". Those of us in the upper years all agreed that she deserved it, the bitch.

So there you have it - not my first teenage crush but a powerful example of who NOT to hire if you are charged with looking after over a thousand teenage girls, and just how scary they can be.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Sun 8 Nov 2009, 16:13, Reply)

Just so you know...
I watched two Episodes of 'Fun House' this morning on Challenge.

Those twins? Seriously. To use the parlance of todays youth 'they ain't all dat'

Seriously, you wouldn't. Even if you thought in your youth you would.

Also, the Fun House Grand Prix was more shit than I remember.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 14:04, 3 replies)

Angelina Jolie in gone in 60 seconds.. perfection

Cameron Diaz in the mask,
iceicebabies.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/04/cameron.jpg
oooof
(front_2_back is further inland from the coast than anyone else, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 13:35, 1 reply)

Geneviève Bujold
I never knew her name till five minutes ago when I googled the film "The scarlet buccaneer".

I remember seeing this at the cinema when I was about 9 years old, then lying awake that night replaying the scene where she swims naked (filmed from about half a mile away and probably using a body double).

Having just looked her up I'm rather glad to admit that I still would.
More than once too.
(EvilMeister, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

It's not like I had much choice
As I entered my early teens a few events managed to take me down the social ladder. As a violent opponent of 'The Phantom Menace', active member of the chess club and library enthusiast, I found myself relegated to the position of holding up said ladder for the rest of the adolescent turnips in my backwater school.

I've mentioned before about some of the antics getting the shit kicked out of me led to, but one lucky day it got me a lady.

A very large lady

Who smoked

And dotted the 'i' in her name with a heart

Ladies and gentlemen, my first girlfriend if you please, Dani. Dani felt sorry for me being the butt of most jokes, and quickly took me under her massive, deep fried wing. She took it upon herself to peg me up a few notches by being seen with a woman, and I was 13 years old and glad to be associated with a pair of tits that weren't my own. Soon enough, Foxy was the talk of the town and invited to all sorts of social gatherings with his lady accomplice.

Looking back though, I realise it was me making her feel better and not the other way round. Who nicked fags off his mates to feed her gargantuan habits? Me. Who took her back after she admitted sucking a bloke off in an underpass for some alcopops? Me. Who had to tell her how beautiful she was as another Big Mac flew down her gullet? It wasn't even love, it was a direct order if I wanted 'to make it to the next base'.

One day, dear readers, I did. In time-honoured tradition, my family disappeared one Valentine's Day leaving Dani and I to have an adolescent fumble underneath my Thunderbirds duvet. Her breasts rolled over each other as I worked my toungue, her stomach was sweaty and stretched. Trying not to heave, I decided to switch to batting practice and use my hand to get her going downstairs.

Even now I find it hard to describe the moment. It was like my hand was taking an expedition through the warm amazon only to discover Ben Nevis in the foreground. What I felt, and still feel to this day, was a pair of flaps so disfigured it felt like a couple of cocks swinging around my palm.

I'm not proud, but in the middle of a game of tonsil tennis, it made me throw up a little into her mouth. She swallowed it and licked her lips. That made me spew a little more, and nearly again as she rubbed it over her chest. I quickly got dressed and walked her to the bus stop.

We broke up soon after. The Phantom Menace is still shit.
(FoxyBadger (try saying it backwards), Sun 8 Nov 2009, 10:48, 3 replies)

Blistering Barnacles!
I used to secretly believe Captain Haddock could show a girl a good time. In a hammock.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 9:38, Reply)

*strokes beard*
Hmmm.....

Jet (Diane Youdale), still a foxtress of the highest order.
Penny Smith.
Jane (Annie Joness) from "Neighbours".
(kitescreech still here, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 8:14, 1 reply)

I would just soooooo love to have Brian Blessed pumping up and down on top of me
And as he shot his load cry out "Gordon's Aliiiiiive"
fuckin ell that would do it for me.
(Queen Cunt of Cuntland The Queen of the Cunts!, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 8:09, 3 replies)

Ayshea Brough
She was the presenter of kid's pop show "Lift Off" and in the credits of "UFO" every week.
Exotic and gorgeous.

She was knocking off Roy Wood, too, and made a single with him ("Farewell"). My old vinyl copy is long gone, and if anyone out there can point me to an mp3 version, I'd be gobble-givingly grateful...
(greatoldone Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl f'tagn, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 6:12, 3 replies)

A pearoast but still worth it......
"Emma"

I was quiet when I was young. Not shy, but just didn't see the point of saying anything if I didn't have anything worthwhile to say. This is a terrible problem when trying to chat up girls, especially when attempting to talk to Emma for the first time. She had long, blond hair, big blue eyes and a fantastic body (even though we were both about 10 years old, she still had a perfect figure).

So we devised a plan, 'we' being myself, Greg, Steve and Brian: I'd phone her up and ask her if she'd like to go and watch a film with me.

The four of us set up an amazingly elaborate script which covered all eventualities; every conceivable twist in the conversation was covered - no matter what Emma said, we were confident we'd have a pre-prepared answer.

The time came to make the call.

I had the several sheets of A4, Greg, Steve and Brian were listening on the extension so that they could hear how things went and could point to the relevant part of the script if I lost control of things, and the most nerve-wracking call of my life began.....

Me: Hi Emma
Emma: Hi Jerry. How're you
Me: Fine thanks. Just wondered if you'd like to go see a film on Friday
Emma: Sure. Shall I come over to your place for about seven o'clock?
Me: That sounds good. See you on Friday.
Emma: Bye


I'm so astounded at how easy it all was that I'm stunned into silence. A silence which is filled by Greg, et al yelling things down the extension like, "You've nailed her", "You're gonna have your hands inside her knickers within a minute" and "She's gonna be sucking you like a whore" together with other unsavoury comments.

Emma: I'm still here you know. I'm never going to speak to you ever again.

And she didn't.
( Fr_Jerry_McGwier looked over both shoulders at, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 5:05, 1 reply)

Fergal Sharkey
singing 'A Good Heart' on Top of The Pops. It was 1985, and I was five years old. Clearly an early starter.

Fergal was followed by;
Donnie fron New Kids on the Block
Axel Rose
anyone with an undercut
Brad off of Neighbours
Gary Barlow
Stuart from Queer as Folk

My torch still burns bright for Gary, but I'd like to have a pop at the little one from JLS too - teeny-tiny, but HOT!
(G-Lo, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 0:56, 1 reply)

if this has bindun...
Giles Corey, not quite a teenager but definately a crush.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 0:45, 2 replies)

Helen Baxendale
Dr Claire Maitland in Cardiac Arrest - complete fox. So many male doctors will agree...
(suxamethonium, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 23:42, 3 replies)

Rik Mayall, even in Bottom
I don't know why but he makes me go all weak at the knees. Its the smile. That scary, scary, smile. I like him as scary swearing characters not nice ones. Alan B'stard!! aargh. must....get....rest......
(not_professional_particularly Tories: putting the "n" into "cuts", Sat 7 Nov 2009, 23:19, Reply)

yum
Amanda Redman

As a youngster i found her attractive allthough being a nipper i didnt know why,now as a mature male animal i watch New Tricks and see why

PPPHHWWWOOOAAARRR !!!

Length ?-she would only have to ask
(shug, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 23:04, Reply)

hmmm...
I make no apologies for this... Anneka Rice. I still would, as well!
(clearasmud, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:47, 1 reply)

Gotta love that 1990s television...
Ohh dear. My biggest celebrity crush ever has to have been Lucy Lawless as Xena. Actually, not sure if it quite qualifies as a teenage crush because I've still got it. Ehehe...
(enervatrice, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 20:58, Reply)

Mine were:- Philip Schofield (agh), Macualay Culkin (yeah I know, but when he was in Home Alone I thought he was lovely and before you think I am a pervert I was about 8 and so was he... even that sounds wrong though), and, I can't believe this one, Stephen Gately (insert joke here).

However I have now moved on to far superior taste, those being Brandon Flowers of The Killers, Jenson Button, Sebastian Vettel and Tom Hardy ;-)
(Pumba Look for the red flashing light again... no!!!!!, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 20:50, Reply)