hmmm
when I was 13, I spent a lot of time being gossiped about at school, everyone knew, or thought they knew all about me and stuff I enjoyed. It was all bollocks obviously, but I grinned and bore having a "reputation" for a while, until N hoved into view, on his big, red motorbike. Because he was older than me (and most of my tormentors) the gossip, and harrassment stopped, as if the lecky card had run out. I could put up with the fact that my new protector was a bit of a pillock. (see past posts, ref sexual misconceptions) because he had a friend, drinking buddy and all-round good egg, called G.
G was a musician, albeit in an amateur way, he suffered from what he called "Jimmy Page complex" and he was tall and slim with bright red hair. he was also given to playing card games with beer mats, trying to escape from moving cars on a night out, i-spy when we were both bored, in short, funny as fuck when you're 16, and vaguely aware that you're in the wrong relationship.

As time went on, I developed a huge crush on G, I went weak and giddy whenever he turned up at pubs, parties and social gatherings. I watched him pursue and occasionally catch friends of mine, and I provided the shoulder when it went wrong. And I loved him loads, but because of everything, I kept it to myself. Even putting up with his pillock mate N.

I still see him around the town where I live. He's happily married with 2 lovely kids, so it's a non starter as far as I'm concerned, but he's still lovely.

And he's left me with an appreciation of the Red Haired Man, in all his guises, especially if he plays guitar as well.. Lovely...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Not so much a who but more of a what
When I was a young teen growing up in the wilds of northern Minnesota, I developed an insatiable crush on 3 things. Beer, weed, and my cock. The infatuation continues 3 decades later.
(tingtwatter Eating loads of red meat since, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:36, Reply)

Gina
Now that the parameters of crush have been so exceptionally well established by Mr Saliva, I feel it necessary to give my own account. In reply, another big un.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:32, 8 replies)

Jessica Rabbit.
To this day, she still makes me grin like a wanking jap.
(Sir General ***WoW***, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 15:01, 4 replies)

As a young un I was obsessed with weedy tortured lads
namely River Phoenix, Kurt Cobain, Richey Edwards and Daniel Johns.

Didn't end well.

Still a fetish of mine but I've moved on to Peter from Heroes...yum yum - and he can fly :-)
( the_log_knows ..to pay cheeses, to the leopards in your head, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:51, 1 reply)

Wet memories
Zara Philips something about the riding boots, being posh and a pony tail always does it for me
Carol Vorderman Hum I had more than a few dreams about her teaching me.
Konnie Huq If she's ever seen what I'd done for her earlier she would have been impressed
Lisa Scott Lee Red hair hum plus a nurses outfit (OK doctors but close enough)
Julia Roberts No idea why
Princess Diana - is it a bit sick to admit this one?

As for teachers there the one Chemistory one wish she'd taught me biology in a personal practical.
(ne00qwerty, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:46, Reply)

Teenage Crushes - Wee Jimmy Krankie.
or in the 80s when she appeared on saturday morning TV, it was more like Wee Jimmy Wanky.

Am i sick?
(DantheMan69, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:29, 4 replies)

Dunno if its been mentioned.....
But it should have!

Mary Poppins!

dont know what else to say really *grabs coat
(MudButton does not mean to offend but......, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:26, 2 replies)

Ralf Little...
Please don't hate me.
(CallMeNumberTwo had his 'last' cigarette on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:19, 4 replies)

Odd Child
I was madly and desperately in love with the ghost from Randall and Hopkirk.....its no coincidence that my husband looks remarkably like him...also on a slightly weirder level, Glen Campbell...I cannot explain this one even thought throughout the years I have tried to fathom it out to no avail
(Antizan Doling out the happy pills...., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:17, 1 reply)

wednesday addams
little miss ricci. I was about her age and wanted to give her a thorough smashing.

then, we both grew up, she became round, soft and jugged up to the nines. fucking BRILLIANT.

then, we both grew up some more, she went all calista flockhart, got a very shit tattoo plastered over her tit and now looks dirt. oh, NOW she wants to do all the nude scenes, *great*.

I have moved on to summer glau.
(injektilo smoking the weed that killed elvis, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 14:08, 5 replies)

I can't be arsed to see if anyone's beaten me to it
but surely I can't be the only person who thought Jet from Gladiators was the finest example of womanhood even to be forced to wear a godawful lycra two-piece in the name of baiting dribbling teenage boys into watching an otherwise-shite discharge of testosterone masquarading as television? Which I accept is an unnecessarily over-long way of saying "phwoar, that bird's got nice tits", as was the parlance in the mid-90's.

Mind you, I went to an all-boys school. If she hadn't been brightening up our Saturday nights we'd have wanked over Lightning, or, god help us, Scorpio.

Having said that, Gladiators was on after Baywatch. Is there a sub-committee of the commissioning team at ITV entitled "Will boys wank over this", or, assuming they went to University, "Norks & Lycra Threshold Assurance"? This raises further questions, such as - am I being too kind assuming that ITV have commissioning teams, sub-committess, or indeed anything more complicated that tyre swings and bananas? And if this group does exist, what the fuck have they been doing for the last 15 years?!

Sorry, went off topic a bit there. Jet was fit. Yeah. After Gladiators she had a stint on some bobbins Sky One show called Games World where she pretended to be an expert on all things Mega Drive. I can't remember a single damn thing she said. I do remember the PVC dress she wore, though. And so do all of you.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:58, 4 replies)

Anyone remember...
Judi Trott who played Marion in "Robin of Sherwood"? Or how about (Dr. Who) Tom Bakers cave-girl sidekick Leela?

I do.
Definately.
(EffinDoubt is breaking glass on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:57, 3 replies)

Mrs Peel, you're needed
Cor blimey, is she ever. Phwor!
I discovered the Avengers on late-night TV when I got a telly in my bedroom in about 1985.
Haven't looked back since, really.

Cor. Gertcha. Hubba hubba. Talk about formative experiences.

heroworkshop.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/heropeel.jpg
(davywavy, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Are people misunderstanding what a crush is?
Are crush and hormone-driven gratuitous sexual fantasy the same thing? IMO no it isn't. I think a crush is more like this.

It's a good 950 words, so it's in the reply.

Edit: You can find part two here www.b3ta.com/questions/teenagecrushes/post562450
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:28, 14 replies)

I fancied baddies
1. David Bowie in the Labyrinth regardless of the strictly ballroom (ahem) tights and Pat Sharpe hair. I used to scream at the telly when he offers to be her slave and she says 'you have no power over me'. What the fook? How about "yes please, now sing Let's Dance and do the walky upside-down on the ceiling thing."

2. The character Silverthorn in an Aussie TV show called 'The Girl From Tomorrow', which nobody else appears to have seen. It's possible I imagined it.

3. Alan Rickman as the Sheriff or Nottingham in that Godawful Robin Hood Prince of Thieves business. Bear in mind I really was very young, about 11 I guess, but his manly voice, dark hair, swishy cloak and implied sexual debauchery floated my pubescent boat.

4. Evil Ted in Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey. Again, he tries it on with one of 'the babes' and she just squeals a bit and shoves him off. Even at the tender age of whatever I was, he would've got it. Whatever 'it' was. I probably thought 'it' was a Panda Pop and a grope, mind you.
(dancebiscuits, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:17, 11 replies)

You can find the perfect blend
I had an unhealthy obsession with characters from shit Aussie soap opera Neighbours. In this order

Beth (Natalie Imbruglia)
Annalise (Kimberly Davies)
Sarah (Nicola Charles)
Dee (Madeline West)
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:16, 7 replies)

The Flake adverts fucked up my first ever BJ
Especially the one with the wanton gypsy floosy going all gooey-crotched over a bar of fucking rancid, mummified chocolate (just don't get flakes, me). They were out in the early eighties when I was too young to really understand it. I was excited in strange new cock-related ways... but I just didn't really get it...

Fastforward a few years and I'm round my first proper girlfriend's house, a girl named Toni (odd name, but she was actually pretty damn hot for a thirteen year old, not blokish in the slightest). We're pissing about playing Pac Man when we start doing a bit of low level smooching. Then Toni reaches for my fly and starts unzipping the beast, then she says: "I'm gonna Flake advert your man bits."

This was odd. I was thirteen. My 'man bits' resembled a baby carrot flanked on either side by a couple of garden peas, and the whole 'Flake' thing was decidedly dodgy. I recalled the ad. The way the girl brought the crap chocci bar up to her lips and took... a... long... loving... deliberate... BITE.

"Fuck off!" I said. "There's no fucking way you're doing that!" Then I quickly zipped away my pecker and went home.

Took a good couple of hours for it to sink in, just how much of a spectacular fucking twat I'd just been. Had to wait nearly four fucking years for my first ever blowjob after that. Fucking Flake adverts...
( SpankyHanky, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:13, 5 replies)

Late '70s/into '80s teenager
... consequently:

Sally James, Debbie Harry, Felicity Kendall, Siouxsie (especially in the famous NME cover shot, see link) but also Mandy Kuypers ... "Who?" you ask ... well, having discovered an uncle's stash of softcore porn mags (Mayfair, Penthouse etc) there was one model who stuck in mind because she was Dutch, foreign, exotic, glamorous and made me pop my cork ... i remembered the name (intense, formative experiences) ... so googled and, yay, someone is archiving ancient softcore; so here's a 1970s Dutch hippie with no clothes on

Ms Kuypers (definitely NSFW)
cc.servik.com/mf/g028/

Siouxie (taken from behind, ahem, borderline SFW - it was an NME cover after all)
www.corianton.com/tullyblog/uploaded_images/siouxsie-764392.jpg
( writerblock ... embedding disabled by request on, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 13:13, Reply)

The caramel bunny.
And I'm not even a furry... never did figure that one out, but even now I would love to hold onto those ears and give her a jolly good ramming, and wipe my knob on her tail afterwards. Then eat some caramel.
(keyboardman, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:59, 2 replies)

Bedazzled
I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet but I apologise if they have.

I was 14 when I first saw Elizabeth Hurley in Bedazzled. My life changed after that night, here's why:

Maid outfit

School girl

Devil

Awesome.
( Fat Fred too weird to live, too rare to die, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:50, 7 replies)

Susanna Hoffs
from the 80's group, the Bangles. She is still hot now at 50. Google her. Its worth the effort!
(Andino, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:48, 2 replies)

Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
And, just so we're clear, I don't mean James Marsters, although I'm sure he's a lovely bloke. I mean the character, Spike, complete with the makeup, the wardrobe, the low-grade evil, the high-grade ineptitude, and the candlelit crypt.

Yes, I know, vampires aren't real. Yes, I know, Buffy is often lacking in plot, character depth, acting skills and suchlike. Yes, I know that there was no excuse for the musical episode.

Nevertheless.
( Batsgirl, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:32, 11 replies)

Maddie.
And I'll have one to Hull please.
(Tiktock Beating off flamers with a shitty stick, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 12:32, Reply)

Lara Croft
I haven't spotted this name on any of these pages thus far, and I'm a little surprised. Perhaps there aren't so many gentlemen on here who were adolescent around the same time as myself, because I'm sure I wasn't the only one who liberated several gallons of goo over the thought of this graphical figment of some programmer's one-handed imagination.

It seems strange in retrospect, but then these were my teenage years, when my "taste in women" was a little less defined (boobs and a pulse) than it is now (boobs, a pulse and nice legs), and, at the time, it was hard* to escape the forceful advertising surrounding the Tomb Raider franchise. It didn't seem to matter that she was improbably shaped, or that her meat balloons looked like somebody had glued two basketballs to her chest. Nor that her mouth looked like someone had stuck the moustache off the Pringles guy, along with its mirror image, onto her face. As far as I, and many others were concerned, the boobs were big, the thighs were out and if I bought the game...I would be in control of her...

(I only ever bought the second one. It wasn't a bad game, at least when my hands were on the keyboard, rather than the joystick)

I guess the parents of many similarly unsociable teenage boys were relieved to see that, in amongst all the other computer games which involved taking the role of some soldier, commando or knight and taking part in some rather homo-erotic-looking fight scenes, their son had at least bought home a box with a voluptuous, albeit badly-vectored, woman on the front. All they needed to do now was try to persuade said son to perhaps leave the house...and try talking to real women.

But why take that risk, when with the right combination of controls and camera angles, you could get a view right up her arse? A view which was yours when you wanted it. A view which didn't turn round and ask you what the fuck you thought you were staring at. How many young teenage boys had their social development set back several years, I wonder, by Lara Croft? She certainly hindered mine...

*_{Fnar Fnar.}
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:57, 5 replies)

I've also always had a bit of a thing
for hippie chicks. It's built into me at almost a molecular level.
(teasus likes tea, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:55, Reply)

The Girl From U.N.C.L.E
Stefanie Powers pre Hart To Hart. April Dancer.....nuff said.
imagecache5.art.com/p/MED/27/2769/PYJTD00Z/-stefanie-powers.jpg
(kitschnthink, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:54, Reply)

She's been mentioned already, but Felicity Kendall in the good life
used to make me come over all funny. I still get excited when my wife puts on her old painty dungarees to do some decorating.
I think she was instrumental in the development of my taste in women - small boobs, good fun, nice looking and cute but not overdone.
My missus is tastier than her though.
(teasus likes tea, Fri 6 Nov 2009, 11:54, 2 replies)