A Visual telling off.
First, let me set the scene. I am a rather docile being, i'd rather say sorry and avoid a fight if possible. I'm by no means confrontantional. Unless... too many people piss me off.

My day started normally, i managed to get myself to work, then i found out a client network was down. This is bad, as it requires me to do something. I spent the whole morning watching tcpdump and basically being a real geek. My boss thought it was a good idea to *keep* telling me to unpack boxes.

Boxes vs. Client network... hm...

Lets just say i explained the situation nicely, whilst biting my tongue. Anyway, the day continued normally from there, then it was home time and that means only one thing: London Underground.

Now, i'm usually a polite passenger. I let people off, i let people on i don't barge or push (mostly, unless necessary). Unfortunately, the world was against me and unbeknown to me the whole Underground was packed with insidious , evil and generally not nice cnuts.

Let me save you the pain and list my experience:

- Jobsworth telling me to, in a VERY loud voice, NOT WALK NEAR THE TRAIN AS I MIGHT GET KILLED (no shit, sherlock)
- Cnuting 20 something pregnant woman decided, as she was pregnant it was her RIGHT to push past everyone else and get on first.

...Just becuase you're pregnant doesn't make you the dogs bollocks, also just becuase you managed to get knocked up isn't my fault, so why should i sacrifice my "place" for you? Maybe if get pregnant i can get on first? Psh. please fuck off now...

- Some old gent who couldn't get up the staircase becuase his suitcase was too heavy (Yes, i helped him carry it up) but maybe a little more sense next time?
- Some woman who brought SMELLY flowers onto a crowded, overheated train. Thanks. I really REALLY like it when i have Sweat, Grime and POLLEN up my nose.
- A "suit" type, barging his way on the train (overground this time) with his elbows, we wern't even rushing! He just wanted the seat. I hope you fall out of a building and die.
- The lady with a pushchair. I WISH I KNEW HOW YOU BREATHE! DO NOT RAM MY HEELS WITH YOUR PUSHCHAIR BECAUSE I AM NOT GOING FAST ENOUGH... FUCK YOU

And breathe....

Then, there always has to be some cnut that finished it off isn't there? Oh yes, it was Mr.SmallPenis, in a Mercedes. I was crossing the road (after looking and checking!) and cuntface (for thats what he looked like) was driving way to fast. By now, all thoughts of self preservation have escaped me, i stand my ground... in the middle of the road. With my fingers held high in a "Fuck off" fashion, mainly reserved for the french. He didn't appreciate it, he just stood there cursing. I wish he'd have gotten out of the car. I would have twatted him (or his car, so he has to buy a new cockmobile [thanks for that phrase, it rocks]). Then i got home and my girlfriend calmed me down... so all is well ;) (She's lovely you know)

Length? It must have been very small...

edit: Damn im usually very good with my grammar ;) *hangs head in shame*
( Axai is in Montréal, Canada O.o, Tue 25 Sep 2007, 16:33, Reply)