Things you will never consider
First a warning this story is NOT about fluffy kittens. I have told this story to several people and they have all been a bit traumatised , I did warn them but they didnt listen .
A very dear friend of mine Diane, was a nursing student (qualified now) when she joined me and my flatmates down at the pub one night.

We were discussing this and that as you do when someone asked Diane what they were covering that week at college . "Bowel surgery" she says . Erm ok things went a bit quiet. She continues "what they do is cut you open all the way down here" and proceeds to run her finger down my front. I swear it felt like a scalpel opening me up. Things went quieter especially from me.
But there was more.

Squeamish readers this is your last chance to look away.

They had also covered colostmy bags that week. Fair enough nurses deal with these things.
Apparently they sew up your puckered walnut if you end up needing one of these for 2 reasons 1) It isnt required anymore and 2) Its a potential source of open infection. Makes sense dosent it?

Someone in Dianes class stuck their hand up asked the following question " So how do gay couples have sex then?" Obviously bum games are out of the question.

Very last chance folks

The lecturer replied quite matter of fact " some couples poke the colostomy bag apparantly they enjoy the warm feeling"

Que four very nauseated looking flatmates with mental images burnt into their brains and one nonplussed nursing student.

Diane honey i love you but that night it was way way too much information.
(welgar, Sun 9 Sep 2007, 7:40, Reply)