Toilet trauma.
They're a close family: friendly and loving; caring and sharing. You can tell from the way they act around each other that there is much love among them, and it once warmed my heart to see it. I would dream of living in such an environment.

And then came the day when I walked out of my friend's room to be confronted by the sight of his naked Dad sat atop the throne; his unfettered, hairy arse cheeks engulfing the seat and his copious gut spilling onto his furry thighs.

I did my best to sneak past without being noticed but just as I thought I'd made it a booming voice yelled my name and I knew I'd have to speak to him. I slunk back into the doorway of my friend's room and did my best to avoid looking at this monstrous public poo-er, but it was no use; my embarrassment meant mumbling into the door frame and he beaconed me nearer so he could hear me clearer.

My responses to his persistent questions were brief and to the point, but each swiftly despatched answer was met with a fresh question. I tried on a few occasions to make good my escape, not only from this grotesque vision before me, but also from the foul odour that was terrorising my nostrils, but he wouldn't allow it.

Then he seemed to shift his weight in such a manner as to suggest his task was complete. "No fucking way" I thought, "he can't possibly..." but he did, he lifted himself from the toilet, unravelled a yard of paper and began to bend his hand arse-ways to cleanse himself.

I didn't wait to hear the rest of his question.

I. Just. Ran.

I didn't go back there for a while. At least not until I could close my eyes without the image of this man cocking a leg to cleanse his arse appearing on the inside of my eyelids.

Even now, sometimes as I relax into bed and give up the fight against the weight in my eyelids, a distinct silhouette will project itself onto my brain and I know that sleep won't be on the cards for another night.
( Moey, Fri 29 May 2009, 11:49, 1 reply)

Reminds me of my mother

love it.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Tue 2 Jun 2009, 7:01, closed)