Masturbatory Mishaps
This isn't actually a story of getting caught doing a bit of self-gratification, but it has the same result. Last summer, I went on holidays with my parents. We stayed at B&Bs most of the time. Well, there was this one B&B that had an impressive collection of magazines for the guests to read. They were stacked on a table in the middle of the corridor outside the entrances to all of the guest rooms. While we were standing outside our rooms waiting for the owner to give us the keys to the rooms, my Dad was having a look through the magazines, probably looking for Practical Boat Owner. Suddenly, I noticed that he stopped flicking through the magazines, so I had a look, and I spotted what looked suspiciously like the cover of a men's mag. I kept that in mind until late that night. Later that night, I crept out of bed to have a peek at the magazines. Sure enough, it was a copy of FHM. Unfortunately, my brother had a bed in the same room as me, so I had a fair amount of trouble getting the magazine home. I had cleverly (Or so I thought) hidden it curled up inside a fleece. Not long after leaving on the journey home, we stopped to visit some public gardens, and the wind was blowing. Er, my Mum was a bit cold, and miraculously asked me if she could wear the exact fleece that I had been using to hide the magazine. "Buggeration on it all!", I thought to myself, panicking and very quickly turning red. I quickly made something up about me not wanting her wearing my clothing. The narrowest of escapes, and if I had been caught, I'd have never heard the end of it. I was a bit paranoid for the rest of the trip home.

That was a bit drawn-out, I'll make this one short. About a fortnight of deprival, Miss World Competition, empty room, 14. Brother enters room. Quick use of hoodie to cover offending article followed by folded-arms used to hide any hints of what was going on. Embarrassment, but avoided catastrophe.
(Banjo-Fella, Wed 2 Jun 2004, 13:52, Reply)